lol

Why it's so hard to understand that I handle feelings differently, I experience them more strongly. And sometimes I can't tell you exactly what's wrong because I don't know either

adults when you tell them you might be mentally ill be like that's not mental illness everyone does that. my brother in christ you are also mentally ill

Being diagnosed with “quiet bpd” is so weird like, I have most symptoms but not all of them. And specifically not the more “obvious” symptoms I guess. I very rarely feel represented anywhere. The references in shows, films, most social media posts, etc, aren’t relatable to me at all. Like yeah I have problems with my all or nothing/black or white perspective, my impulsivity and self destructive tendencies, my extremely low self esteem, abandonment issues, etc. I even have the constant “this person is terrible and toxic for me and i must leave immediately” and then next minute “ive never met anyone better and i want to marry them this afternoon”. Maybe the difference is I just let it stir around in my head most of the time until I start to drive myself insane, instead of acting on any of it. Maybe its because I have social phobia counteracting it, telling me to be quiet and not draw attention ever. I fucking hate being the centre of attention. When I decided to go to boarding school for my final year, my mum threw a surprise farewell party with some relatives, and I was so uncomfortable and mad (I begged her not to throw me one) I just curled up on a picnic blanket behind my fav cousin and napped, ignoring everyone. It was either that or coming out of my dissociative state and crying in front of everyone. The other thing though is there’s still SO much stigma around borderline people. Even those with severe symptoms, they’re still just struggling humans, not fucking monsters like they’re portrayed. Yet the only time bpd is ever mentioned in the mainstream world, its something like “this lady fucked her manager for a better position and then faked pregnancy to coerce him into marriage, and then burned his mothers house down when he found out she was lying and dumped her”. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of feeling weird about this diagnosis and I want to accept this part of myself more

Mbti is overrated hot girls have professionally diagnosed personalities

sick of my current problems, might create new ones

gaining a new identity to add to my repertoire is very bpd of me

The truth is, sometimes you will hurt people. Sometimes, you will hurt people, and then life will move on, and you won’t have any way to apologize, or make up for it. But, your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You are allowed to move on without guilt haunting you over things you might have done years ago. You are allowed to come to terms with the things you did that were wrong, to change, and to grow from those experiences; you will never be stuck in one spot if you will yourself to own up to it, pull yourself up, and start again.

Everyone Has To Like Me Or I Will Die: a novel by yours truly

“what’s wrong with you?” bitch what isn’t