sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.
noise dept.
h
One Nice Bug Per Day
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

shark vs the universe
Noah Kahan
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)
hello vonnie
Keni
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith
Misplaced Lens Cap

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Norway

seen from Germany

seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States

seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia
seen from Japan
seen from Japan
seen from United States

seen from United States
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@bowboy-cebop
sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

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once i was in the TSA line for a flight and it was SO LONG that TSA decided to just drop all the security protocols. leave everything in the suitcase including electronics. keep your shoes on. don't go through the fancy 360 scanner, just the metal detector. get out of here. and i was like ohhhh so you admit this is all just your stupid community theatre production that you've made me be a part of for all this time and it doesn't actually mean anything real. okayyyyy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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what a beautiful day to not be in high school
This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!
in the middle of crying for no reason i was interrupted by the sounds of one of my neighbors blasting "shadow the hedgehog pissed on my fucking wife" so loud it echoed around the courtyard outside
Audio transcription:
"'I need a woman with a wolf cut to beat me to death'- no you don't! You need- healthcare and universal basic income. That's what- Don't get distracted, okay?"
knowing when not to open the comments is a skill
internet soft skills
not opening the comments
letting people be wrong
letting people be wrong about YOU
letting people have a bad impression of you (see above)
knowing when your input isn't needed
spotting bot comments
block button
blocking tip: you don't have to wait to have a negative interaction with someone to block them. you can block them without ever interacting with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone being rude to someone else and preemptively blocked them
"why'd they block me? we've never talked" bro if i see you being nasty to the bartender i'm not gonna chat you up

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i should've locked in when i was thirteen
being an adult is always like i have to go to the store i have to go to the store i have to go to the store
work like a red onion
play like a white onion
fuck like a green onion
we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

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For some reason we were given access to custom emojis on teams and it took people less than 24 hours to add the logo of the local unemployment office and start using it as a reaction when something goes wrong or upper management announces another shit decision
fearsome fangs friday!!!!!!!!!! bite everyone