Vista Big Naturals

Happy Birthday

August 6

Synopsis: The consequences of a laundry mishap lead to an unexpected search for a phone number.

Pairing: Vista x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: Adult themes, mentions of the porn industry, and rockstar culture.

Author’s Note: Sorry for being so fucking late and for not feeding you any smut. I’ll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible 😭

Mandatory @bouquet-bride tag <3

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In a scale of one to ten… how fucking stupid could you be?

Ten.

No need for confirmation.

You were sitting next to your friends as the lecturer droned on through the first class of the year. As much as you wanted to be a good student and pay attention, it felt impossible when the weight of your own stupidity was crushing you, making you sulk like a naughty child who’d just realized Santa skipped their house entirely.

The washing machine.

Even thinking about that damn thing made you flinch with regret.

Who in their right mind forgets two very important pieces of paper in their pocket before doing laundry?

You, apparently. That’s who.

What kind of self-induced amnesia had you caught?

You could’ve sworn you’d emptied your pockets the second you got back to your dorm.

You remembered doing it, right?

Turns out that was just your exhausted, fucked-up brain gaslighting you into epic failure.

When you finally checked your room later, you realized the “papers” you thought you’d saved weren’t their numbers at all— they were just your old bus tickets.

Things just never worked out for you.

You were clearly destined to be punished by some cruel cosmic force, doomed to eternal unhappiness.

There wasn’t much you could do about it, even after sprinting back to the laundry room in a panic.

It was paper. It was soaked.

What did you expect? A miracle?

Ever since, you’d been moping and sulking hard. Your friends noticed— of course they did. At this point, you were making it everyone’s problem. They were curious anyway; they hadn’t heard a peep from you over the entire holidays. They knew about Luffy, knew you’d spent Christmas with his family, but they had no details.

All day, they’d been chattering about their own breaks while you just listened. No way in hell were you dropping your absolutely feverish, dreamlike holiday saga in the middle of class.

So your friends grew impatient, convinced you were deliberately being mysterious.

You weren’t trying to be mysterious. Right now, you felt like you were single-handedly holding back an entire dam with nothing but a flimsy stick.

After enough prodding, you told them to grab lunch first, because they’d definitely need to be sitting down to digest this.

It’s fair to say the hype lived up to expectations. In fact, they were beyond impressed— they were straight-up shocked as you spilled the juiciest details. Then you got to the part where Ace and Thatch showed up, and your friends started screaming like rabid fangirls. People at nearby tables shot you dirty looks.

By that point, you wanted the floor to swallow you whole.

There was no way you were finishing the story.

But your mouth had other plans. It kept going, word after word, like you had zero control. Watching your friends’ expressions evolve was like witnessing a slow-motion car crash.

And then Vista’s name dropped.

Out of the three women staring at you, only one recognized it immediately. Her eyes went comically wide.

“It can’t be…” Adassa muttered. “I mean, it’s not a common name, but it can’t be…”

“What do you mean?” Selene asked, arms crossed.

“He’s a pornstar…” Adassa finished, watching your face carefully.

“Surpriiise.”

God, you were hilarious. Someone needed to tape your mouth shut.

“I beg your finest pardon,” Cora said.

“But it doesn’t end there,” you continued.

“Of course it doesn’t,” Selene deadpanned. “Now what? You’re gonna tell us you lived out your own personal porno?” She caught the shift— the blush creeping up your cheeks, the flicker of shame in your eyes. “YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.”

Once again, the entire restaurant turned to stare as your friends lost all volume control. Given the topic now on the table, keeping it down wasn’t really an option.

“All this, while under the same roof as Thatch and Ace— as in Infernal Wake’s Thatch and Ace? I think I need a minute,” Cora said, fanning herself.

“How did any of this even happen!?” Adassa demanded.

“I don’t know!” you wailed, matching their panic. “I walked into that house completely blind. Luffy didn’t say a damn thing about his rockstar brother or his insane family. I barely survived it, and now I’ve lost their numbers and I want to die…”

You buried your face in your hands and groaned loudly.

“Hold on— numbers, plural?” Selene latched on. “As in, you didn’t just hook up with the pornstar…”

“No, I only… had sex with Vista.” The last part came out a whisper. “But Thatch gave me his number too.”

“Okay…” Their brief calm shattered instantly. “THEN WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST THEM!?”

“I DON’T KNOW, I’M AN IDIOT. THE JACKET WENT THROUGH THE WASHING MACHINE WITH THEM STILL IN THE POCKET,” you lamented.

“And you can’t just ask Luffy to get them back?” Selene pressed.

“Maybe Thatch’s, but definitely not Vista’s,” you said.

“Then ask for Thatch’s at least,” Adassa urged.

You shook your head. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Girl, you haven’t gotten laid since… well, basically since you got here,” Cora cut in. “Don’t waste this once-in-a-lifetime shot. In a few months you’re heading back home anyway.”

Oh. Right.

This wasn’t your real home.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” you mumbled.

“Somebody grab me before I slap some sense into her,” Selene growled.

A month went by, and you never asked Luffy for Thatch’s phone number.

You tried not to think about what Vista and Thatch might be thinking of you right now.

However, no matter how hard you tried, the thought would slip right past your defenses: “They gave you their numbers, and you chose not to call. They must think you’re a bitch.” This tormented you at least ten times a day, especially before going to sleep, when your mind could only replay your bad choices and most embarrassing moments on an endless loop.

By mid-February, Luffy came bouncing up to you one day, blabbing about how Ace had told him that Infernal Wake was going to start touring in a couple of months. The first show was in a nearby city, and since Ace had invited “Luffy and his friends” that meant you were coming too.

You didn’t really know Luffy’s friends that well—you’d never spoken to any of them—but when you started getting together to plan the trip for the concert, you quickly realized why that bunch of very different yet somehow similar people were such a tight group.

This trip could be your golden opportunity to talk to Thatch again and explain yourself— if he even wanted to hear it after the not-calling-him thing or if he even remembered you. Maybe he was petty like that, though the person you’d met at Christmas didn’t exactly strike you as the bitchy rockstar type. But you never know.

With the Thatch situation tentatively sorted, you were left with the Vista problem, which was ten times harder to figure out.

“Are you seriously going to keep moping?” Selene asked. “You know there are a hundred guys out there. I mean, it wouldn’t be the same, but that’s only because what you found was top-tier dick.”

Those lovely words were spoken right in the middle of the dairy section at six in the evening on a random Thursday— truly a classy move that made the granny analyzing a yogurt label give you both a sharp side-eye.

“Selene!” you hissed.

“What?” Selene shrugged. “It’s true.”

This only made you whine like a loser, folding forward over the handle of the cart you were pushing.

“Have you tried telling Luffy?” Selene asked.

“Not really, but he invited me to his brother’s concert.”

Selene hummed. “I guess that solves one of your problems.”

“I don’t know what to do about Vista, though.”

“Ah, yeah, the mourning of the pornstar dick. Classic,” Selene said. “Didn’t you say he owned a company or something? You could rent one of his movies… Maybe the company’s number is on the VHS case. You call, you ask for him. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. “Wait, that’s actually genius. You’re a genius.”

“I suppose our next stop is the video store,” she said.

“Yeah, but I don’t think we need to rent it, just check the back of the case for the phone number,” you said.

“Aren’t you a little curious about what his movies are like?” she asked, then remembered something. “Right, you aren’t. You lived the whole thing.”

And you wanted to die of embarrassment.

“Since we’re there anyway, we might as well rent it and watch it,” Selene said.

“Where? In the common room?” you asked, dripping sarcasm.

“No, Milo from audiovisual has a TV.”

“Why would we involve Milo from audiovisual in this?”

“He won’t mind.”

“He’ll think we’re freaks!” you protested.

“I think there’s no one on campus freakier than him, I can assure you. He won’t mind, he’s a total weirdo…” Selene trailed off, and you caught the sudden glint in her eyes, the faint flush of embarrassment.

“And you like him,” you finished for her. “I’m not going to watch a porno with you two if it means you’re just going to hook up.”

“You could always kiss the TV,” she teased.

“Ha, ha, very funny.”

You went to the video store afterward. You had to admit, you felt a little awkward venturing into the adult section— especially with all those men back there giving you nasty looks. Selene, in another classy move and a brilliant display of her free will, barked at them, and they quickly minded their own business.

“Alright, let’s go find your honey-boo,” she said.

You wanted to fire back something snarky about how she should never use that word again, but honestly, you were just feeling shy.

Vista had his own fucking section.

You hadn’t realized he’d filmed this many movies— how the hell had he managed that?

“Damn, he’s famous famous. I’m surprised I didn’t know him… though Adassa did… huh.”

“Which one should we pick?” you asked.

“This one looks cool… Caveman style. Nice.” Selene shoved a film right in your face. “Maybe this one… Ohhh, look, he’s kneeling. So pathetic. I’m taking this one for myself.”

You were flabbergasted, but yeah, okay. “Selene, I only need the company number on the back…”

“Yeah, but that’s boring. Don’t you want to see what your man does for a living?”

You were speechless.

However, you were a little curious.

“What about that one?” Selene pointed at a VHS. “Didn’t you like reading those fantasy books about gay men in the mountains?”

“Lord of the Rings?”

“Yeah, that one!” Selene said. “Look, this one’s like medieval fantasy. Okay, we’ll take these three.”

There was no arguing with her.

The same chaos unfolded with Milo when Selene banged on his door. He opened it with a confused look on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Milo asked.

“Move, we’re coming in.” Selene basically pushed him aside and strode in like she owned the place. You gave Milo an awkward hi and followed right behind her.

“Selene, what the fuck?” He turned around. “Out!”

“Don’t be a dick. I even brought you one of those Wano movies, you disgusting pervert.” Selene tossed the VHS onto his bed.

Milo sighed, clearly exasperated. “Fine, whatever. What do you want?”

“Your TV,” Selene said.

“For what?” he asked.

“To watch porn, obviously,” Selene replied.

Now Milo looked intrigued, but Selene shut that down fast. “Don’t get some twisted fantasy in your head, weirdo— this isn’t ending in a threesome. Now get the TV out.”

Milo rolled his eyes, closed the door, and walked over to pull the TV from his closet, where it was hidden next to piles of what looked like some very questionable movies.

“What are you going to watch anyway?” Milo asked.

“These.” Selene handed him the VHS tapes.

Milo snorted. “You want to watch this shit?”

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” Selene shot back.

You stood there awkwardly as they argued— were you… a child of divorce?

“Yeah, this dude? C’mon,” Milo said.

“What? Are you jealous that one of his legs is like two of yours?” Selene teased. “Or maybe the insecurity’s coming from somewhere else?”

Should you just leave and come back when they’re done?

“Stop being a cunt, alright? The TV’s mine. No TV, no weird-ass porn watching.” Milo’s threats were clearly empty— Selene could probably kick him out of his own room if she wanted.

“I mean… we could watch it somewhere else,” you intervened.

They both seemed to have forgotten you were even there.

What a weird way for them to flirt.

“Nah, it’s alright.” Milo cooled down a bit when talking to you.

“Glad to see you came to your senses,” Selene said, plopping down on his bed and patting the spot next to her so you’d join.

The room reeked of stale weed and unwashed guy in a way that made your nose wrinkle. Still, Milo's sheets were unexpectedly soft, carrying that clean detergent scent that almost made up for the rest.

Milo sauntered back from shoving the VHS into the player, then flung himself onto the bed— the mattress dipped and bounced you and Selene a bit, the old wooden frame creaking like it might give up any second.

Credits rolled, then the title splashed across the screen: “A Princess Tale”

Selene passed you the blunt soon after, and you pulled a few deep drags, hoping the smoke would loosen that tight knot in your stomach.

You got hooked quickly.

Not just you— Milo was locked in, eyes narrowed at the storyline. He even shushed Selene once when she tossed out a comment, which earned him a quick smack on the arm.

For a guy who prided himself on hating everything mainstream, Milo giving this porno his stamp of approval felt like a miracle.

Vista was magnetic, charismatic as hell— you almost forgot you were watching filth because his acting, and the actress’s, felt so damn real. The costumes were solid too, especially for the obvious low budget. In addition, the sets were incredibly well done. The movie was probably shot in some crumbling real castle, because the stone walls, the torchlight, and the whole atmosphere screamed authentic.

The three of you were already murmuring about how surprisingly decent the production was when the first full sex scene hit, and all of you let out an audible gasp.

It was raw, filthy, and intense.

You felt a wave of something you couldn’t name wash over you— a growing heat in your lower belly that made you press your thighs together.

This was the kind of fucking that looked like genuine hunger, like they couldn’t get enough of each other. Vista was relentless, a wild beast unleashed. Yet he never lost his manners; at the end of the day, he was a knight rescuing a princess.

You couldn’t help but feel a pinch of jealousy— it should be you.

You’d lost count of the nights you’d spent sleepless, tossing and turning, drenched in sweat and regret as you tried to imitate the sensations you’d experienced with Vista. It was pointless; you never could quite get there. You always got tired or missed the exact spot you needed to touch to reach your goal.

Instead of a satisfying orgasm, you were met with frustration every single time.

And now, watching Vista do his job—thrusting hard, grunting low, making the actress cry out—you couldn’t help but remember the night you’d spent with him.

“Is he actually that good?” Selene’s voice cut through your spiral.

You glanced at her, nodded slowly, heat creeping up your neck that even the weed couldn’t blunt.

“Holy fuck, is that even possible?” he whispered, eyes wide.

“Didn’t you swear these movies were garbage?” Selene teased him.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, waving her off, gaze locked on the screen.

You needed to cool off, or at least think of something else— though it was pretty damn hard with Vista’s sounds filling the background. You snatched up the VHS case, scanning the back until you spotted it: a tiny phone number printed beside the company logo.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, standing. “And please, for the love of god, be clothed when I return.”

“What kind of animals do you take us for?” Selene scoffed.

The kind who'd be fucking on that bed right now if you weren't cockblocking them.

You slipped out and headed downstairs to the common room.

As you walked toward the phone, you couldn't help feeling nervous. Your hands were sweating and your heart was in your throat. As much as you wanted to stay cool about the whole situation, you just couldn't. The lingering echoes of what you'd felt in Milo’s room still haunted you, compounded by the nerves already eating you alive and the numbing doubt that made you want to crawl into a dark corner and never speak to another man again.

You took a deep breath and glanced at the VHS case to mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to do.

You started dialing.

It was late, maybe no one would even answer.

Your fingers kept moving.

Maybe Vista wouldn't want to hear from you after a month of absolute silence.

The phone began to ring, and you held your breath. Whatever happened next, you hoped it wouldn't turn into a terrible mess.

Just when you'd decided it would ring out, a voice answered on the other end.

“Rose Fantasies SL, how can I help you?”

“Hi…” You hurried the words out. “I was wondering if I could speak to Vista?”

“You’re speaking to him.”

“So, uh, I lost your phone number…” Smooth. Real smooth. He probably had a dozen girls on rotation, that told him exactly nothing about who you were.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said, voice warming instantly. “I was starting to think my brother stole you away.”

“Oh no, I lost his number too,” you admitted.

Vista chuckled. “I see. So how’d you track me down?”

“I’d rather not reveal my sources.”

“You watched one of my movies,” he said, amusement clear.

“No, I didn’t.”

Liar, and a terrible one.

“Which one?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried for innocent, it landed somewhere closer to desperate.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pry it out of you eventually.”

Your face burned. The weight of his words felt ten times heavier, considering you were standing in the middle of the common room— a couple of guys playing cards at the table and girls glued to a movie on the TV.

“So, I… I was just calling to, yeah, let you know I lost your number. That’s it, really.”

He hummed, thoughtful. “Right. I guess that means we should go on a date, then.”

“What!?”

You winced at your own volume, glances flicking your way.

“A date,” he repeated, calm as ever. “I gotta treat you proper before I fuck you again.”

“Right, how silly of me.”

He laughed— genuinely delighted at how easily you unraveled. “This Friday. I’ll come pick you up.”

You floated back upstairs, a different person entirely. Opened the door to that hazy, stinking room and found exactly what you'd feared: Selene and Milo tangled up, lips locked, hands wandering, your plea for decency ignored.

Selene finally broke the kiss, spotted you in the doorway.

“What happened? Did someone answer?”

“Yeah…”

“And?”

You let the pause hang, just for the drama.

“I’ve got a date tomorrow!”

Selene shoved Milo off her like he weighed nothing. She launched herself at you, screaming, jumping, both of you bouncing like giddy fangirls.

“A date with the pornstar?” Milo asked, sitting up, hair messed.

“Yeah.”

“Happy for your pussy, then.” From Milo, that was practically poetry.

“Don’t be a fucking creep!” Selene snapped.

“What? I meant it nicely.”

“What are you gonna wear?” Selene turned back to you, ignoring him completely.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, let’s go figure it out right now.” She scooped up her stuff in seconds. “Bye, Milo!”

“What about your damn tapes?” he called as you both bolted. “Selene!”

On Friday afternoon, after being unable to concentrate all day, you found yourself in Selene’s flat amid a hurricane of clothes and stress.

While you had been in your room, Selene had selected some outfits she deemed “date with a pornstar” appropriate. However, now that you were trying them on at her place, she didn’t look pleased with the results.

“I think there’s something missing…” she commented.

“You usually rock that dress… but I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like a date kind of look. Where’s he taking you, anyway?” Adassa asked.

“He didn’t specify. He just said, Doll up, love,” you replied, imitating his voice. “That doesn’t really tell me what he has in mind— it could be anything…”

“Well, it’s at night, so that means either a restaurant or the movies,” Cora said.

“Or he could take you dancing,” a man’s voice interrupted. You all turned to see who it was. “He seems like the kind of guy who’d love that corny shit.”

“Since when have you been here, Milo?” Adassa asked.

“I had lunch here,” he answered simply, which prompted Adassa and Cora to exchange a knowing look with Selene. “By the way, those shoes don’t go with that dress. You probably want something longer but with a bit of spice— you know, like that dress you have, Selene.” He said it so casually as he sat in an armchair and lit a cigarette that all the women in the room were stunned. “Not that he’d care what you wear. He probably just wants to take it off…”

He was cut off by a pillow hitting him squarely in the face.

It was too good to be true.

Still, his advice was spot-on, and you headed into Selene’s room to change into the dress Milo had mentioned.

Fortunately, Selene had a very similar body type to yours, so sharing clothes wasn’t unusual.

When you returned to the living room, you ran into Selene’s roommate, who was likely heading out for the weekend. She gave you an appreciative whistle and said, “Damn, girl, you look groovy.” This was followed by a subtle nod of approval from Milo, which felt like winning a contest by earning the pickiest judge’s endorsement.

You were feeling ready.

Vista, the gentleman he was, had followed the directions you'd given him, and now he was ringing the bell— which sent everyone in the living room into a full-blown panic.

Noisy as they were, they all wanted to catch a glimpse of Vista, but you didn't want this embarrassing chaos hitting your date night so early, so you shoved them all into the kitchen to hide.

Foolish to think they'd actually stay put.

You opened the door, and there stood Vista— tall, refined and a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. Flowers you clearly didn't deserve after ghosting him for a whole month since Christmas. He didn't seem to mind, though; no resentment, no awkwardness in those steady eyes.

As for you, you were barely holding it together. You'd forgotten just how overwhelming he was. Taller than you remembered, definitely buffer if that was even possible, smelling like expensive cologne and confidence, impossibly handsome, and already speaking while you hadn't caught a single word.

"Hi," you managed.

He smiled, warm and unruffled. "You look lovely this evening." His gaze shifted past you into the apartment, and you knew exactly what he'd spotted. "Ah, hello there. I'm afraid I'll have to steal your friend away for a while."

Your friends erupted in a chorus of “Oh, it’s alright,” “Have fun,” and “Nice to meet you too.”

Vista’s charm was unavoidable.

Was Milo blushing?

He was lurking in a corner, still smoking and trying to act nonchalant, but he was looking away— and you could notice a faint blush on his cheeks. As a matter of fact, you were probably the least fazed person in the room, which was saying a lot.

"We're leaving now, bye," you blurted, stepping outside and pulling the door shut behind you.

Of course, as noisy as they were, you caught them crowding the windows again— not even pretending to be subtle anymore, heads poked out, whispering and waving like a bunch of gossiping aunties as you walked toward Vista's car. A sleek navy blue Cadillac that screamed money and probably turned heads with envy from every guy on the block.

You were so overwhelmed, juggling your friends' antics and Vista just existing in all his glory, that you didn't even notice he'd opened the door for you until you nearly walked into it. That, plus the knowing, amused look he gave you, made you want to melt into the pavement.

"There's no need to be nervous," he said calmly, voice smooth as ever. "It's just me."

You wanted to deny it, say you were fine, but he'd see right through the lie— your voice would shake, your hands would tremble, or both. The flowers in your grip were probably wilting from the earthquake in your fingers. "I know."

"Long time no see, huh?" He eased into the driver's seat, starting the engine with a low rumble. "I'm pretty much the same since Christmas, no need to worry."

"Ah, right." You let out a shaky laugh. "I forgot you were a Dungeon Master, my bad."

Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of him...