Trying

Not to be controversial but so many of you talk about “chaotic energies” and what not while pretending you’re all BIG fans of chaos, when you can’t even handle a little pineapple on pizza. Stop chaosfaking.

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

I don't know who needs to hear this but... start living. The days are flying by and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can like walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn't have to be expensive. You deserve it.

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

good morning to horror fans, fat bitches, people with psychosis, they/thems, people who can’t drive, trans women, witches, and single dads. the rest of you... you’re on your own

im just not convinced humans were ever meant to be this busy

every day i am surrounded by people who need more naptime, and more playtime, and more storytime, and more playdates and parties and sleepovers. when it comes to worktime, however

The time between 2015 and 2020 and the time between 2020 and 2025 cant be the same

How do movie people even know if a movie is good or not I finish watching a movie and my brain is just like "well that certainly was a movie" and that's it

3. I sure watched something

id be so pissed if i got a parking ticket in gotham like a MAN dressed up like a CLOWN is violating the geneva convention weekly fucking calendar man is out there doing god KNOWS what and ur gonna fine me for parking for 30 min in a 10 min loading zone??? fuck this im becoming parking man and never paying for parking again weeheehee you’ll never catch me batman !

ooo…. lady gagita

me not following what’s going on in lecture vs me about to get in an argument with the professor

marshall mathers vs slim shady

the fact that disobeying authority is listed as a symptom of several mental illnesses is concerning LOL