On shades of grey, free will, and hope
Or, my two worthless cents on why this grief is not about the kiss.
I am not one for writing posts, usually, but I feel like I need to write down in some way a schematic manner.
(Mandatory "stop reading if you haven't watched GO3" and apologies for any mistakes, English is not my first language and I am kind of all over the place)
First of all, let me say that everyone is entitled to their own opinion - I am extremely happy for those who really enjoyed the finale.
I have read multiple comments saying that if people are not happy with their ultimate sacrifice, then those same people have understood nothing about the story and its message. I see your point of view, and I would like to offer an alternative perspective, as many other people have already brilliantly done.
We all see some parts of us reflected in Aziraphale and Crowley, this is why so many of us are so attached to this story. We see ourselves in their trauma, in their choices, in their personality. In them being different from humans and from celestial beings alike.
They are outcasts, and they represent all those shades of grey of those people who, for one reason or the other, do not conform to the "normal", to the "typical". What is turning them humans doing, if not erasing all of this? There is no one who is different anymore. No more outcasts, in the ideal "real universe".
But also finding shades of grey - finding a compromise between the situation you are in, what you are expected to do, what you think is the right thing to do. But mostly, Aziraphale and Crowley learning over the course of their existence how to find this equilibrium was one of the key messages for me. Especially in a society where living in a 100% ethical way is not possible, sometimes doing your best is all you can do, and it has to suffice. You will feel lonely a lot of the time, and yet, along the way, you might be able to find who shares your struggles and who understands that loneliness.
What hurt me the most, here, is that in the end, all the struggle of them working to reach a shade of grey that was a common colour did not matter. There was no resolution. No, a kiss was not needed, but there was no real talking, no hug, no real moment between them. It was being lonely once again.
What is free will against the circumstances you find yourself in? S1's apocalypse arc, Job, Edinburgh, even Bee/Gabriel, everything now feels emptied of the meaning that was built over the entire narrative arc, and over 6000 years.
The message I took away from the finale is that this does not matter. Whatever you try to do, it's all in the hands of those who are more powerful than you. Be it through propaganda (is it free will if our thoughts are influenced without us even realising?), be it by being able to erase your existence without giving it a second thought (how easy it was to erase people through the Book of Life feels very much like what politicians are doing with minorities, or what is happening in war zones), be it by controlling your access to what you need to survive (Crowley not being able to perform miracles), the message is got from the finale is that whatever I might do, it's useless, because it's anyway in the hands of those who control the game, and I will never be able to make my own choice in this universe.
One of the main things that Good Omens gave me was hope.
Be it by asking questions and rebelling against the system or by trying to change the system by its own rules, each of us is trying to build a better world. What I got from the finale is that this does not matter in the slightest. Doing your best, looking for a solution, trying to fight for a better world, it does not matter.
I do not want humanity to have a "do-over". I do not want a blank slate or anything like that. I want to believe that this humanity, this world that is so many times reflected in the original GO universe, is worth saving. I want to believe that if we all put ourselves into changing it, into going against gods and those who have all the power, we can still make a change. I want to believe that annihilation and sacrificing our love is not a necessary step to have a chance at making things better - a chance, yes, because we have no proof that the second universe was actually better or that humanity got a better chance at it; after all, the biggest examples of kindness and the biggest atrocities were all human, not a result of the intervention of angels and demons.
They could have shown Jesus and Adam finding each other, and them, as a true expression of humanity, help Aziraphale and Crowley subvert the system. They could have really shown humanity come together and be Aziraphale, Crowley and humanity go against a cruel, careless god to gain their true free will and the right to exist peacefully. They could have shown all the ways we could have found the lady, even when the system is playing against us, making its own rules, and constantly changing them. And we could have still come out as winners.
Good Omens gave me hope of being able to find someone who would make me complete in the way I yearn for. No matter the amount of trauma, of obstacles, of flaws, of fundamental differences. Someone with whom I can make mistakes, and then learn to communicate with and build an even bigger love. Someone with whom I could build my own cottage, someone with whom I could carve a peaceful corner of existence in the painful chaos that is this world. Equally, it does not matter how much you might love someone. If the circumstances are wrong, you might fight and do your best, but what makes you complete will be taken away, even if just for the amusement of someone else.
I believe that them finding each other in each and every universe, "life finding a way", is a wonderful message. But I also want to believe that love wins, for once, even when all seems lost. And I wanted for them to experience that love in their original forms, because we are them, and they are all of us.
What a magnificent love letter to humanity that would have been.
Yes, we were given nightingales. But the cost was erasing the meaning of their song.
I will take a page from my book, and I will keep "rebelling" against the system, be it the world or, in this case, canon.
I will not let them rob me of the love for these two beings who have saved me and so many other people countless times. They are one of the main reasons why I am where I am, and thanks to them I have found a constellation of magnificent people thanks to this story that I am every day grateful for.
I will grieve, but this is just a version of the story that I am not obliged to believe is true. I will reclaim this story, this love, this hope. And I hope each of us who feels pain will take a page from the true meaning of Good Omens and fight to keep their hope and love intact.
