𝔻𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕪𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕔

while I'm not going to get up on some soapbox and talk politics, cause they are quite frankly not my thing, it makes my head spin and I would surely misspeak like an idiot and make a fool of myself, if not do harm with my lack of political knowledge.

what I will do is say I stand with Palestine with no if's and's but's or exceptions of any kind, and if you don't stand with Palestine in that manner do us both a favor and block me now.

no one, not a single soul on this earth, deserves what Palestine has gone through in the last few decades, much less the last few weeks.

what Israel has been doing in just the last few weeks alone goes so far beyond sickening I don't have words to describe it. they're bombing innocent people, civilian homes, schools, hospitals, and ambulances of all things. targeting people fleeing on the route they told them to take, forging 'evidence' of heinous crimes that never took place, spreading horrific propaganda, the lot of it. not to mention this has been going on for decades, that barely scratches the surface of it all.

they are calling Palestinian's animals, cutting off food and water and power, cutting off the internet to silence them and it is sickening.

Palestine deserves to be free, they deserve peace and prosperity, they deserve to live and if you disagree with that, you are a monster. Palestine has done nothing to deserve this, nothing to deserve decades of apartheid, mass bombings and violence, having the world turned on them in their greatest time of need, it is sick.

she forgets to tell him that shees him as only Jake's son. only their son. she killed Quaritch and took this place. Bug isn't his anymore.

but that is just in her mind. and she forgets to tell. either because he was too young. or she was not ready. or it's been so long, for her, it is the only possiblity on her mind.

but for Bug, it's not just. reality. he questions it every time she speaks of Quaritch. or even some other humans.

does his sa'nu hate him? does his sa'nu think he is insane and demon blooded?

he knows she loves him. she kisses his head and holds him close and takes him hunting. but does she hate him too? at the same time? does she ate the blood in his veins?

he tries to be good. he stays away from Hellsgate and abandons his english and does extra chores and extra target practice, so he never makes an unclean kill.

but is it enough?

one day, at 8, he just... asks her.

he tip toes into the mauri, she's resting, laid out on a bedroll. she hears him, despite his tiptoeing.

"my 'evi," she smiles, opening her arms to him, beckoning him close.

and is quick to fall into her arms, snuggling close. too close. burrowing into her before she could even move to hold him.

"what is wrong?" she is quick to ask, trying to bring him to face her, but he won't let her shift his head. "ma'Hi'a?"

he sniffles once, before speaking.

"do... you hate me, sa'nu?" his voice is quiet, "not... me but um... do you think I'm a demon?"

he doesn't look at her, he does the opposite, pressing his forehead to the bottom of her ribs, looking down at his own chest.

"no, my love," she coos desperately, petting his hair. she tries to sit up, but her son will not let her, "no no no, you... you are my son. my son. and your father's son. you are one of The People, Hi'a. you know this."

he nods a little.

"but I'm also his son... right? and... and he was a demon a-and... and his mind was full of insanity... and what if I'm like him? are... are you scared I'm like him? do you hate... what's inside me?"

Neytiri thinks to her words. all she says around the boy. speaking of his father. of the other demons of the RDA. other humans.

and oh. oh.

her sweet boy. he kind, selfless perfect boy. who always helped out and always kept a close eye on his siblings and always made her smile. her human boy.

she had always thought he'd understand she did not mean him. but... but that was foolish.

"oh no, no my boy," she coaxes him to sit up, taking his face in her hands. "you are not him. do you know know?" "... no?" "because I killed him, my son. I killed him, and I took his place. you are not his son. you are mine. you are your sempu's. that is final."

but that doesn't soothe him. she's just saying that. even if she means it. it doesn't change what he was. it never would. he would always have demon blood in his veins.

"but they were human," he whispers, eyes watering behind his visor. "I'm human! sa'nu... I'm human. it's... it's in me. and you hate them."

Neytiri takes a deep breath. because she did. she did hate them. even even their allies. even Jake. even if it's just parts of them or who they were or used to be. even if she could tolerate them.

but her H'avi? what did she feel about him?

since killing his father, putting two arrows in his chest, she could only see her boy, when she looked at him. she didn't stop seeing his pink skin and small size and extra fingers and lack of stripes and tail and kuru and his round ears and blunt fangs. she didn't stop knowing he was human. or that his father was one of the worst men to touch Pandora.

but her hate died with Quaritch. just for her son. but it was long dead by now.

but how does she make her boy understand?

"I do not hate you, my love," she starts, petting his hair off of his visor, "it is true, I hated you father. that I... I speak cruelly of humans. but... but I have never seen you as his son. I have never feared you becoming like him. I... I love you. I see you."

but he doesn't know how both can be true. he doesn't understand. so he just nods into his sa'nu's palm, and let's her kiss his head, and lies back down with her for a catnap.

but the hurt stays for years and years. until he's old enough to understand.

every time Neytiri speaks about demons and insanity, it bores into him.

weeks, months, and years pass. part of her forgets this talk.

she doesn't see his hurt, becuase he doesn't show her.

he knows she loves him. he does. and that's good enough.

but his siblings see it. feel it. Jake does, sometimes, and trie to comfort his baby boy. but he feels the same way, sometimes, even with his avatar.

@navidarling

this is so silly. ok, so:

Bug was accepted before Jake was. in a sense. when they wanted to cast out the avatars, they were all convinced to let the child stay in their territories. because... what were they going to do? throw that innocent little being to the demons? they couldn't.

with his trailer being in the middle of the woods. they can just... go pop by to see him.

.

Tsu'tey does it as a... tactical measure. establishing if Jake is remaining where he should be. ensuring the child is... not a threat.

he's really coming to sneak glances into the trailer and spot the baby. eventually Jake just yells at him to just get inside and come say hi.

"I know you don't hate me," he says as their side of the airlock opens up, putting a rebreather in the man's hand. he hasn't slept in 2 days, his chest hurts, he smells like baby puke, and he doesn't have time to cower under the stare of the warrior. "and you want to meet him." "not true, demon." "uh huh, put this on your hands," and he throws hand sanitizer at him, "cleans them. so you don't get him sick." "fine... but only to–" "whatever you're gonna say, don't," he huffs, getting Bug out of his little bassinet, cooing to him softly, "he's just a drama queen, don't mind him."

it's nearly funny watching Tsu'tey squeeze into the trailer, only to give up and sit by the airlock, sniffing at the gel on his hands.

Jake hesitates only a minute, before showing Bug off.

"well this is him," he holds the squirming babe out on display, "Bug, this is Tsu'tey, Tsu'tey, this is Bug." "Bug?" "it's a work in progress. Bug is cute. it's a term of endearment on earth sometimes. so... works until I..." "what?" "he has a name. it's just hard to say."

he puts the baby in Tsu'tey's hands, who gently holds him like he is a previously uncontacted substance that might kill him. carefully inspecting him and doing everything short of shaking him or turning him upside down, sniffing him and inspecting little four-fingered hands and round ears and the lack of a tail or stripes.

"hard to say here," he motions to his chest.

Tsu'tey couldn't know why, but he nods. he gets the feeling.

eventually Tsu'tey just rests the baby in his lap. Bug hasn't, thus far, seemed to care about the manhandling. passively sucking on his own hand, and watching, slightly wide eyed, at the massive blue being holding him, going between staring at amber eyes and the red clay tips on his hair.

"he doesn't do much." "do Na'vi babies, I don't know... do more?" "mmm... no not really." "ok, then leave my little guy alone, he's not even two weeks old," he's smiling. "I hope you do not have your father brains, child," he strokes his cheek, "he is a fool."

Tsu'tey ends up visiting frequently. babies are a soft spot. and like it or not, Jake is still his brother. they will fight together. ride together. fly together. they are friends. he's gonna come admire that baby.

and when Jake claims the Toruk, and the baby is moved closer to the Spirit tree, he always makes sure that someones giving the little one attention.

.

Mo'at never held ill will towards Jake or his child. she had been angry, yes, that he had fed the demons information and cause to strike down on her home.

but she also saw a scared man who's life had flipped in a single night. who truly didn't intend to cause harm, not anymore. who had his insanity cured and cup filled. who just wanted to fix things. to protect his little boy and the people he came to love.

when her daughter speaks to her of this tiny creature, she is curious. humans were so tiny. the offspring of her own kind impossibly tiny as well. so to imagine a human infant? the littlecub couldln't be more then the size of her palm, and the thought made her eager to meet him.

but she had duties. so the most she could do, for now, was to ensure Jakesully had all he could need and recieve from them, without burdening her own people. food, supplies, protection for his trailer, the like.

it's only when the trailer is moved closer to the Spirit tree, does she finally come to meet him.

she doesn't even announce herself. just. manages her way into the trailer. Jake was catching a rare nap, his baby in his arms, huffing his sleep.

she just watches a while. she takes pity on Jake. he has come to matter deeply to her. she is not blind, she knows her daughter is in love. and he has become part of her people, officially or not. he was to be accepted just a few days after the child had been born. and now he fights for them. he is Toruk Makto, for them. all while being a father.

so when the baby stirs, she carefully takes him from Jake's arms. the man stirs as well, but can be disuadded from waking with a scolding hush and gentle push of his shoulder to roll back over.

the man truly is exhausted.

and the infant, with his wobbly lip, and scrunched little legs, was lookign at her with the biggest eyes he could manage. captivated maybe, or afraid, unsure? one of those, she knew. and she did not want him to cry.

"oh, sweet one," she murmurs, resting him against her beaded shawl, "none of this, there is no reason to be afraid."

she gently stroked the very tip of her smallest finger up and down the bridge of his nose, while her torso shifted side to side to rock him.

"you're sempu needs his sleep, so you will stay here with me, yes?" she smiles, keeping her voice low and soft, "I am Mo'at, your Tsahik. I know you don't know what that means yet, but it means you are very safe. I will never harm you."

he really was as small as she attempted to imagine, but actually seeing it was so different then simply knowing it to be true. and it was strange to see a child with no stripes. just milky cream skin, only dotted sparsly with freckles.

he still had only cloth diapers made from torn up shirts and rags, and Jake's hoodie, which wrapped around him perpetually at this point. nothing fine or gentle against his fresh skin. she would see that changed, this was unacceptable. Jake may have no other means at the moment, but she did. she'd right this.

"I believe someone is cold and uncomfortable," she murmurs, covering him as much as she could with her warm hands, "is that right, parultsyip?"

the baby just huffs at her, whining a little, but settling.

"this must be a scary few days for you, hmm? so many strange people coming to look at you, and your Sempu having to be far from you so often... that's not fair."

she remembers he isn't even a month old yet. and his life has been nothing but confusion and isolation, even if Jake's love has surrounded him, and she trusts his allies have treated the baby well. it's not enough. he hasn't felt the sun on his skin or felt a soft breeze or been laid to be lulled by the sounds of the forest.

"you do not have to be afraid. I will make sure you are taken into our heart," the child finally sleeps, "as you have taken mine."

she stays with the little one until Jake awakens. even if it puts a crick in her back, sitting on the cramped floor.

she hands the baby back to the bewildered man, assuring him that she just wanted to met the little one and give Jake a break. that all is well. but that the baby is likely hungry, before leaving him.

.

.

Eytukan only took glances at the child. his beloved and his heart, Mo'at and Neytiri, both cooed his priase. even Tsu'tey did.

he had much more to worry about then a single infant. even if his resentment over Jake had quickly faded, and he did intend on accepting the little one when this was all over

he just didn't have time to go trekking to the trailer, going inside, having an awkward talk with the boy's father, and entertaining meeting an infant that would do nothing but stare at him.

but there wasn't a lack of awe or care in him. he has been the one to allow the trailer, metal and tech that was forbidden by Eywa's ways, and a human boy and the humans caring for him, to be hidden in such a place that was invulnerable as it was sacred. because no child would be endangered by him.

when it was found that there were a select few forest plants that Jake's human body could eat, to help him support and feed the child. or could be used to make a formula for the infant. he sent scouts out to retrieve them. because no child would starve if he could help it.

he had already convinced the elders to go along with his decision to accept the child, if all went well. because where else could Jake and the boy go? if this plan suceeds, if this battle, this impending war, goes through. they will be one of the few remaining humans on Pandora. or, if they lose, they will be enemies of the demons. there's no outcome where they can be alone. without a clan.

but maybe once or twice, when the boy was being toted around in his strange box, to get some sunlight, someone tells him, he would stop to peer in at the boy.

"I am Eytukan," he speaks, voice raised to ensure he is heard, "I will be your chief."

the boy just wriggles. so small, yet unafraid. he's too young for smiles. but there's a contentedness to his face.

"I apologize for being so busy," he sits beside the box, laying down his bow and resting his tired body for a moment, "but I am sure you have little care. we wil have more time to meet during better times. I will ensure that."

he can spend his time holding the baby when he doesn't have warriors to coordinate and plans to devise and prayers to plead and people to feed and injured to tend.

he's very sure this boy will be something akin to a first grandson. he and his beloved have well recognized that fact. there is a love between their daughter and this boy's father that will prove to be difficult in time. considering her arrangment to Tsu'tey.

"I am not sure what we'll do with you or your father, but you are one of us now," he places his hand upon the box. the boy startling, before becoming curious, peering up at the massive blue hand curiously. "you are one of the people."

.

bonus

.

the strike on Hometree had come and went. their home survived, though greatly damaged. it would take much time to repair what was ruined.

she had lost her father. he fought bravely, and refused to leave a single warrior behind as they final bombardments rained down. he died protecting his people and his home, in her arms. the last thing he did was give her his bow.

her heart aches. it feels like it's been ripped form her chest.

and she is so desperate and so angry. something in her years to take something from the Colonel that took her father. from Jake, who despite his efforts to undo his wrongs, that gave him the reason to do this as and when he did.

she goes to the trailer. the boy is alone. there's an eye on him. baby monitor. it was needed, with how much the boy slept and how much needed to be done to prepare.

she wants to be angry. but she just cries.

because the boy wakes up, and doesn't cower. doesn't whine. just coos.

he looks at her with no fear. just makes a soft sound of noticing.

and she didn't want to hurt this baby. he did nothing wrong. he didn't know his father was evil. didn't know what he had done. he didn't know that her father was dead.

she collapses into tears, falling against the bed. that does startle him, but he doesn't cry.

she wraps her arms around him. pressing her cheek to his. taking in the scent of milk and purity. there's no fear or pain on his scent. no ash or smoke or blood. just sweetness. innocence.

"I'm sorry, yawntutsyìp," she cries, "forgive me."

she had come to hurt him. she had. deep down in her soul, she knew that. whether she could have ever done it, she doesn't know. but she doesn't want to. not know. not ever.

she cradles him closer. as close as she can without hurting him. breathing him in.

he should never know her pain. if she could help it. he doesn't deserve it. she hadn't either, but it was too late to save herself. but she would protect him.

and maybe he could heal something in her.

his little hands reach for her braids, touching the beads mindlessly, but gently. cooing as he squeezed at them

it makes her smile. soothes the pain for a moment. something so simple as an infants instinct to hold onto something brings joy to her.

"you are to sweet, little hi'ang."

.

the day of the great battle comes.

Jake's hand print lays on her chest.

she knows something, Jake does too. they talked about it. if they die in this battle, this boy will be an orphan or worse. that scares her more then she expected.

she understands fearing Jake's death, when it comes to the boy. anyone would fear a child losing their father. their sole parent (of any substance anyways).

but she fears dying on the boy too.

she doesn't feel like nor want to be his mother. not yet.

but she fears leaving him alone.

he's too tiny to be alone.

even if Jake survives her. who will show them both the world of Pandora? Jake still needs morehelp, he has more to learn. someone will need to teach the little one.

and then she thinks of the Colonel. he will die today, if fate is good and just. that man deserves to die. but then that baby will be in the same place as her. missing a father.

even if it's better it happens now. before he can know him. before he can be hurt by him or grow to love him.

but he's still going to lose his dad.

so she goes to see the baby one last time.

and she holds him. right against the white handprint. nosing his soft blonde curls.

"it will be ok, little one," she whispers, "I promise. me and your sempu will come home. the demon will die before he ever lays a hand on you. and we will find a way to continue. this is best."

the baby's hand smudges the painted handprint. not much, but enough that she knows it. right near the bottom of Jake's palm.

"I thought you might do that," she smiles, reaching for a little pot she brought with her. bright yellow paint. "would you like to leave your makr too? hmm, little one?"

she carefully dips his tiny, tiny palm into the tiny pot. and then holds it to her chest. in the center of Jake's.

"there. now I carry you with me," she is content with this, holding him tight another few moments, carefully wiping his hand, "ok, it is time for me to leave. you're sempu will come see you soon, and your auntie Grace will come watch over you, ok?"

the boy grunts as she puts him down, fussing.

"oh, no no no," she coos, tucking him in with his hoodie and a blanket and a new stuffed toy that was given to him by a curious child, "sleep sweet one, I have to go."

he pouts at her some more, before finally calming.

"there there," she kisses his tiny forehead, "sleep. your sempu will be back soon."

.

Jake wears a matching yellow print over his heart.

Neytiri kills Quaritch.

.

.

.

when the battle comes to an end, and their losses are shrouded, and their wounds are patched, and the compound is breathed, Jake and Neytiri sleep curled around their little boy.

it had been 5 days since Bug had been born. Jake was, more or less, recovring. but he was exhausted. turns out nearly starving yourself for two and a half months made a very sudden labor a drag to recover. two fifths of tequila and two ass whooping. he might say. it made him chuckle. Trudy remained unentertained.

but with every day he took to recover, was another day his avatar remained dormant, where he left it sleeping in the village. another day he was absent.

and he could only be absent so long.

the first to meet Bug is Neytiri.

she can only take Grace and Norm's excuses that Jake is sick and needs to rest for so many days, before she has to go see him. his Inkimaya was soon. she missed him. she wanted to see him. she flew up to the mountain, demanding to see him.

she did not anticapate looking into the window and seeing the man she had come to love, in a body she did not yet recognize, curled around a tiny, wriggling, pink little thing. a baby.

explaining it is... difficult. Jake was never one for words, and this was. quite. the situation.

"I swear I did't know." "how? "... I really, really thought it was just a stomach bug. it was the only time I felt... anything. one second I had no idea, the next I was pushing him out of me."

she's staring at the sleeping babe on the bed. he is so tiny. he'd fit in one of her hands. he's wiggling on his side, moving himself mindlessly towards the warm spot Jake's body had left on the bed. Jake thumbs at his soft blonde hair, and fixes his blanket around him.

it's not like a cryptic pregnancy, as Jake and Grace call it, are unheard to her. and the boy smells of Jake like any child would smell of their mother. even if Jake wasn't his mother. she understands what he is. but the boy came from him. that scent coats him. Jake does seem taxed now. she believes Grace when she vouches for him. but...

how could this happen? how could her heart fall for a man, against all better judgement, against all plans for her future? and this happens?

the father is an awful man [though she does not yet know how awful]. the baby can never go back to earth. not for 18 year, and by then, that would be cruel. even she knows that. she can imagine it.

"I must think about this." "Neytiri–" "I must think, Jake... this. everything changes," there's a knowing look between them, of what had been steadily growing between them, which had just been coming to a peak, "but... you will... you will be a good father. you have so much love for him. I just... I do not know." "know what?" "much as changed. you are tied to this life. no human child can be... part of The People. not like you could have been. even if you tried–" "he needs me." "yes," she pets the boy's hair once. it is startlingly soft. "he needs you more then I do."

they weren't bound yet. there was still time to convince their hearts that this wasn't meant to be. for the boy's sake, they should consider it.

she leaves.

.

.

Jake speaks to Miles. his words leave him queasy.

he knows that Quaritch will level the forests. burn up centuries of culture. kill dozens if not hundred to get his way. to get his life with his family on the colonized grounds of Pandora.

Jake couldn't stomach it.

his baby couldn't be lulled to sleep past the sound of bombs. his baby couldn't be raised on bloodied ground by bloodied hands. his son couldn't... couldn't be human. couldn't live how Jake had lived.

there was no promise, not even an inkling, of a chance he could live amongst The People. but Jake could keep him from being raised in a compound. they could live life in a trailer until he was big enoguh for an exopack. and they could... they could be happy.

but he can't let Quaritch go through with this.

"I'll handle it, Bug, don't worry."

.

.

after a week, he can link.

he kisses his little one goodbye, before handing him off to Norm and Trudy. promising to be back soon. possibly for good. who knows.

he's never been away from his baby. waking up in his avatar, even knowing he would not wake up in his bunk, and not hearing or feeling his baby nearby was distressing,

but he forces himself up.

Neytiri finds him quickly enough.

"we need to talk." "Jake–" "no. no, not... all of us. I have to speak to the clan."

and he does. he tells them everything. why he was originally sent. the RDA's plans. their knowledge. what was inbound for them. who would lead the attack.

Neytiri is the only one who knows that the father of that tiny infant she couldn't help but be in awe of, was the same man that wished to level her home. she feels sick. Jake, the man she fell in love with, lied with the worst Demon she may ever come to know.

but he told them. they changed him. they made him see. what was wrong and what was right. they had time to prepare.

so they will not kill him.

they intend to cast him out, but—

"I seek shelter for my son," his voice is pleading. desperate, "do what you want with me. but please... his father can't get his hands on him. god knows what he'll do with him, where he'll take him. if I die, he'd be raised to be just like those demons. he's stuck here for 18 years. you want him to be raised to see. you want him to have his cup filled with your ways, not theirs, please. I'm begging you."

voices flutter around him. his stomach churns.

Neytiri whispers something into her mother's ear. she looks at him, as the parriarchs speak. her eyes water. but she doesn't look afraid or unkind.

"I see you, Jakesully," Mo'at bellows, stepping down from the mantle where she and her husband stand, much like when they first met, approaching him, "my daughter says your son deserves our mercy... so you will have it. he will be granted uturu until the demons are handled. beyond that, his fate will be decided. our scouts will show your birds where to lay down your metal chambers. and you will remain with him." "but so will this false body," Eytukan continues, "you may have given us the truth, and you may be forgiven in time, but this betrayal is a heavy wound. you will leave us."

Jake breathes a breath a small relief. his son is safe. that's all that matters. the rest can be decided. but Bug will remain hidden where Quaritch cannot touch him.

.

.

the trailer was chaos.

Trudy could no longer fly between their camp and Hellsgate, they were fugitives. Quaritch's contact kept calling into the computer. Jake always let it ring out. Norm had managed to disengage the trailers tracker, but they could all hear the planes flying overhead, likely looking for them. the avatsrs lie dormant.

they were alone. and stressed. and trying to raise an infant when they had no back up and no resources other then what was in storage and what they could scrounge from the land.

occasionally, they were counciled for information. questioned. but The People would not listen, not truly, to the severity of what was to come. they needed more then just bows and arrows. they needed more then just surrounding their home. they needed to flee, or they needed to be ready to fight an enemy they cannot even comprehend.

all while the kid has no clue.

"you don't have a care in the world, do you?" Jake asks, watching the baby. he's just laying in Jake's bunk, as usual. fixated on something on the wall, a picture of Neytiri, how fitting. "your lucky kid, real lucky."

he picks him up, hugging him close.

"gonna try and keep things like that for as long as I can, I promise bubba," he thinks of the fact a war is coming, "I'm gonna keep you safe."

he holds him for a long while, memorizing the feeling. soaking it in.

.

.

he knows they can't keep doing this. if Max's calls are anything to go by, they have a week. Quaritch wants to find his son, but the Na'vi have hidden them too well for air forces to find them, and he can't risk ground forces. he's got enough patience to give it a week and that's all. but then the bombs will rain down.

"I gotta do something, Grace," he murmurs, putting his son in her arms. "I gotta do something, and it might kill me... or it could fix everything. but I gotta know someone has his back." "Marine..." "please Grace," he begs her, handing her the baby's blanket, "trust me.... and let me know that you've got him." "I..." she hesitates a long while, before taking the boy properly, "I've got him. but you come home, got it?"

.

.

he claims the Toruk. it was a long shot, and he'd won in the end. he should buy a lotto ticket.

The Clan takes it as a sign to trust him. to let him back in. Neytiri, even though her eyes are still unsure, takes his arm.

"I see you," she murmurs. "I see you."

he tells them they have to fight. they have to be ready.

.

.

the trailer is moved to the Tree of Souls. it's decided that those who cannot fight will be stowed there. protected by the Flux Vortex.

the warriors and Toruk will protect hometree.

"we've been doing a lot of moving, huh bud?" Jake murmurs to his baby. he's been so busy. it's the first time he's seen him in nearly a day.

he didn't even have time to get out of his avatar.

Bug is so much smaller when he's blue.

"do you recognize me, kiddo?" he smiles, picking the little one up.

his eyes are wide open, brown staring at amber. he whimpers once, staring confused. Jake holds him closer, cupping him in two hands against his neck.

"It's me, it's just me baby," he hushes, "gotta get used to it, might be stuck with me like this."

he says it, and then nearly regrets it. he may be done with his human body. even with his legs fixed. it had done nothing but drag him down. but his little one? he grew in that body. he fed from that body. he knew, on a level beyond the visible eye, that Jake's body was his daddy. he felt safe in Jake's arms, surrounded by his scent.

Grace says babies think they and their parents are a single being for the first months of life.

who was he to take that away from his baby boy?

but then his baby soothes, and makes the same little sound he always does when his daddy picks him up.

"yeah, it's me bug," he kisses his soft hair, he has to be so much more careful, being so large, but at the same time, it comes nearly like instinct. he goes to to correct himself, and finds nothing to correct, "I've got you."

.

.

Norm makes an isolate to keep the baby in, in case anything happens to the tailer.

Bug has the cutest little pout about being placed in there to test is out.

"he hates it." "I'm aware." "he hates his gift, uncle Norm." "I hate you." Norm rubs his eyes, "you'll both be grateful if he ever needs it."

the isolate allows him to be moved into the Spirit Trees hold, in proper. the first human to see those trees, and then Grace.

the baby likes looking up at the bright fronds.

"beautiful, isn't it, parultsyìp?" Mo'at smiles down at the boy, fingers tracing the plexi glass casing, "too bad it is necessary to lock you up in this box, I think I could be rather fond of you."

Mo'at has already forgotten he is human, and is more keen on finding a way to hold the boy.

he is a fascination of the Na'vi. they want to steal a glance at the human son of Toruk Makto. the tiny little boy in a strange box. he winds up much adored, his little pod covered in little gifts from those who are bored and take comfort in putting their minds on the child instead of the impending war.

.

.

battles come and go. clans are rallied. Hometree is wounded, but never falls. people are lost; Eytukan is wounded dring the attack on Hometree. Grace is wounded protecting the little ones from ground forces looking for Quaritch's baby, even if her death took hours to become final, Trudy's Samson is shot out of the sky and Tsu'tey is wounded at the battle of Ayram Alusìng.

Jake faces Quaritch head on. he pleads with him to end this. for their son. but there's no getting through to him. he nearly loses to him. would have, had Neytiri not been there. had Neytiri not put two arrows in his chest.

"one must die, so another can take their place," he all she says as she ensures he is dead.

just thinking about Jake and his baby. like. he needs a day or three to reocver before he can think about linking and seeing Neytiri or anyone in the village. just cause he hadn't felt a symptom of pregnancy before, didn't mean that was the same now.

he's sore and winded and feels empty in a way he's never felt before. he can't tell if the heartburn and nausea is some complication or the crippling anxiety or both.

the idea of moving, even in a stronger body, sounds mentally winding. the idea of leaving his baby, even in the care of Trudy or Grace or Norm, makes him sick.

so he's just... in bed. pacing the barracks of the trailer every now and then. when Grace insists he's gotta walk a little. but he's mostly in bed.

and he's made a little nest around his little one. blankets and sheets and clothes. to make some sort of "crib" for the little one (Norm offered to make him something out of some old lab basins and a rolling cart. but Jake wants his little one closer then that. he doesn't want him in some old plastic tub). and he just... admires him. he can't quit it.

he'd never wanted kids. he'd considered it. once. whether he had the kid, or someone else did. didn't really matter to him. and then remembered that earth was filling with smog and dying off and people were starving or dying in wars or going feral in vacant cities. yeah, he scratched that idea quick.

but now he has one. a kid. a baby.

he doesn't know if the little one looks like him. it's been years since he looked back at baby photos of himself or Tommy, there were never many and he never liked to dwell on those times. maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Grace says she sees it. Norm shrugs. Trudy just begs for her turn with the baby, saying he's too cute to look anything like Jake's dumbass.

all he knows is that the kid didn't get his eyes, nor Miles's. maybe that was a good thing. his brown eyes are so soft and warm. sweet.

he did have Miles's hair though. the silver fox had once been blonde and curly headed. he knew that somehow. a picture on a dresser. a drunken talk during the wee hours, Jake's head resting on his chest. thinking about a younger version of the man that held him firmly was easier then thinking about Earth or children or Tommy or the war or the sensation of your spine being blown in two and your feet disappearing despite still being attached to you. and now he looks at his little boy and sees those curls. platinum. sparse. but there.

but they were beautiful. so beautiful. soft too. and the little one would make these soft, content little sounds when Jake strokes a gun-roughened finger against his scalp. softly shifting pale hair.

"that feel good? huh Bug?" he murmurs sofly.

he doesn't remember the last time he saw, held, or really knew a baby. small family, few friends, being enrolled in the Marines, and the like would do that to you. he doesn't know how to talk to them. but he's trying.

"your a handsome little thing. hate to say it, but your daddy was quite a looker. and I don't think I'm that bad either, so at least you have that going for you... can't say we gave you much else you'll be grateful for."

he noses the boy's head. he gets a little chirp from him. it makes Jake smile for the first time in days. really smile.

Bug didn't know what type of hell Jake brought him into. held no blame or frustration. no annoyance. just pure trust. contentedness. love. and selfishly, that felt good.

someone's working on sewing the kid some clothes. but they're not in yet. so the kid is swaddled in a hoodie. but Jake likes cuddling skin to skin. there's something primal about. a need. a relief. this is his baby. they were one, just a few days ago. his baby was held safe inside of him. he didn't even know it. and now he's here. and Jake still needs to keep him safe. so he'll hold him as close as he can.

he traces the little moles and freckles that dot the boy's back. his skin is so soft. so pure. so untouched by the terrible world Jake knew, or the terrifying one they were stuck on.

he stretches legs that shouldn't work, and tucks his little one closer to his swollen chest. an uncomfortable blessing. he'll put up with it for his baby. anything for him. better than whatever concoction some paid slinks back in the lab could come up with.

Bug's still too little to be doing much of anything. but somehow, watching him breathe. watching his eyes flutter around the room during his few moments awake. watching his little fingers wrap around his own.... there's never been a more beautiful sight. he could, and does, watch him for hours.

and if he's not watching him, he's walking him around the trailer, pointing out windows and at pictures on the fridge.

"this is our world, Bug," he'll murmur, "you're stuck here, so I'm stuck here. no one gets between us, got it? and... this place is quite beautiful. I just hope... I hope you get to see it. like I do."

and then he's back in bed, curling his tiny babe up in his little nest of blankets, pressing his face to the infant's, taking in his scent, curling an arm over him. back to catnapping and watching over his baby. giving him a thumb to hold onto. wondering how he made something so good. wondering how long this will last, this peace, this contentment, this unconditional love that holds no fear or resentment—

his kid needs a name. still. he's been thinking about it.

"do you like the name Bug?" he hums, "I think it's cute. and your no Miles. no Jake either..."

his throat thickens as his little boy huffs and stretches one last time and falls fast asleep.

"what about Tommy?" he swallows, "Tommy's a good name."

@projectavtr

I definetely, if my brain is kinda and doesn't lose steam on this concept, want to explore Neytiri's dynamic in this, cause it would be really interesting!

going down the list, for Jake and Spider, their relationship is… a nightmare. during the first few years and when the war returns. this is Jake's first baby. he birthed him. that is his blood. he helped kill the boy's other father. he raised him, at least partially, alone. he was his tether when the world got very scary. he can't not go into a fight or flight, over protective, primal mindset over the baby. because their first few months to a year together were just that.

but just as protective and lovey as he can be. he does see the literal worst of himself in that boys face. he has Quaritch's nose and the blonde curls Jake saw in a picture on the Colonel's dresser once. so when the war comes… he's very rough on him. while Lo'ak is a liability cause he acts out. Spider is a liability for merely existing.

for Jake alone, at least in terms of the 2009 storyline, accepting that Bug is his, also means throwing his whole life to the side. he doesn't wait for his inkinmaya or mating with Neytiri or Quaritch outright warning him that the bombs are coming to tell the people what's going to happen. he risks it all to tell them, and to plead for forgiveness. he risks giving up this life he came to love, the woman he fell for, his place. because he now knows he needs to act first for his son's sake. which is a lot for him. but does good for him in the long run.

for Jake and Neytiri, it certainly puts their relationship on pause, even just keeping it the way it was before Jake's inkinmaya/them mating. or something close to it. she can understand that she wasn't betrayed or cheated on. and believes him when he says he didn't know. but can she raise a human child? the child of the Colonel? can she stay with a man who slept with a man like Quaritch? can she stay with a man who will have to live amongst humans until the boy is big enough? is this what she wants?

with Bug, because she met him weeks before the war, it's easier to tolerate him. he's the size of her hand, curled up on Jake's chest, smells like the man she loves, and is so impossibly fragile she can't hold a shred of true resentment. even if she isn't immediately fawning over him. even if she half wishes he didn't exist, because things would be easier. he's just… a little guy. and when the war comes. he is harbored with her people.

even if she's not yet sure she even wants to remain with Jake. she still loves him. admires him. and she will not put him through the risk of child loss. she cannot put herself through it either, it is against Eywa to our a child in danger when it's unnecessary. so she will do her due dilligence to protect the baby, even if it's just putting in her vouch that they should. she does worry about his safety.

and when Jake places his hand on her chest, marking it in white paint, because neither of them disagree with the gesture...something clicks.

he's not her son. he may be in a few years time. he may never be. but Jake is her person. that will never change. and that infant is his son. and they are bound. she truly holds him, for the first time, right before the battle. promising she will come home. because a home is not a single father doing his best. a home is a village. and she will be part of his village.

and then coming to truly love Jake's human body, when the trailer was hit. and killing Quaritch. loving one father, as he is. and killing the other. she knows she needs to do something. be something to him.

she mates herself to Jake after the ashes of war finally stop falling down to the land. and when she binds herself to Jake, she swears herself to his son. they are bound now.

they will have a step son/step mom vibe. she refers to him as Jake's son. not their son, unless she's being publically protective of him. respecting an invisible boundary between them that she feels like she shouldn't cross.

she loves him. in her own way. and he loves her back, innocently. and perhaps in the 15 years of peace, that slowly shifts in them just being mother and son.

when the war returns... it's hard again. but she can also look at the boy who loves her endlessly and unconditionally, despite having no physcial tie to her, and not be able to be so angry with him. she killed his father. she cannot abandon him.

there is some angst in Jake wanting her to accept him more, to call him their son, before she's ready. some angst in her struggling to fully bond with him at times. if Hometree was destroyed, sometimes that anger is pointed at the boy. when she's pregnant with Neteyam, hormonal and maternal, she flip flops between wanting to steal the boy as her own, and wanting him no where near. and when Neteyam is first born, seeing them side by side can be hard at times. but overall... they're ok. in time. when she's allowed to go at her own pace.

now the kids... I'm feeling evil 🤭

ok, so Kiri and Neteyam occur the same way. though Kiri is older, cause Grace is wounded and dies, her avatar impregnated by Eywa's blessing, all the same. while Jake and Neytiri mate a month or so later.

but Lo'ak.... ok so I love the idea of the Na'vi being hermaphrodites (my barbies, my dreamhouse, my rules. they're literally aliens). even if their anatomy does run on a spectrum, and it's rare for a 'female' to get a 'male' pregnant...

basically. I think it would be absolutely wonderful if Jake was the one to have Lo'ak. he popped out two clones and it's stressing him the fuck out. whenever he gets existential.

Jake looking down at the two little twins he made, seeing the worst of himself in them, being so desperate to protect them. some inverse of "mother, eat me and give birth to me again. this time around i'll make you proud". he wants to keep them safe, and yet merely being bron doomed them, and he did that. he brought them into a world they 'didn't belong within'.

Kiri and Neteyam are genuinely twins. born within weeks of each other. but Spider is their elder. Spider and Lo'ak, despite having at least 2 years between them, are similarly twin-like. right off the bat, Jake sees similarities between them. does that mean Spider is more him, then Quaritch? or is his blood so tainted that Lo'ak is doomed to be more human, more demon, even if born of Neytiri. and Tuktirey is their little baby.

Kiri and Spider are close, but they do lack the war orphans aspect. so while they are still certainly thick as thieves, and part of the demon blood trio. I do think they wouldn't be as close. which does hurt Kiri a bit in the long term. but he's still a great big brother, and him being accepted puts her less at odds with their parents.

Jake has Spider to be hard on now, instead of Neteyam alone, in terms of being the eldest. he can be hard on them in different ways. but by the time Spider's 10 or so, he's definitely managed to "catch up" to the Na'vi, so Jake isn't so over protective. it leads to an interesting relationship between Neteyam and Spider. they both understand one another, and love one another. they can only truly find escape from their dad's worrying and their siblings accidently getting them in more trouble, with one another. but Jake also accidently pits them against each other a lot. so there's some distance. some frustration.

Neteyam wonders when he'll stop being made responsible for his big brother, who rejects his attempts to watch over him. and Spider wonder's when his dad will look at him the same way he does Neteyam.

until the war returns, it's definetly both present but mild. but when it returns... Jake manages to split his worrying and inability to be properly vulnerable with them between the three boys pretty equally. for better and for worse.

Spider, had he been parented by the Sully's, would be somewhere between the three older children, in terms of personality. he is definitely very responsible, he doesn't care that he's the smallest of the bunch. he will take care of his siblings. nothings going to stop him. being raised amongst the village, his spirituality flourishes. I think being a hunter and a healer suits him, and he'd be guided by the other clans members, but mainly by Neytiri and Mo'at. he wouldn't have to hide his faith or find a way to sneak around to engage with it. he'd be allowed at ceremonies and sacred sites. but he's very much Lo'ak's twin, and while he does worry about the consequences and tries to stay out of trouble, does tend to give his parents some stress.

he'd definitely be a good son. a son anyone would pray for. and he meshes the siblings together, because he sees all of their hurts in himself because he is human, and it somehow reflects with their struggles.

.

.

.

Jake, drunk on pilfered alcohol (sorry baby bug, he doesn't know you exist yet) and giggling, coming out to Grace, Trudy, and Norm 2 and a half months into their stay in the middle of the hallelujah mountains: "yeah, y'know... got all my bits. the originals anyways. pretty sure they're all in working order too! maybe that's why the RDA wanted me"

Grace, Trudy, and Norm, who all knew damn well that man had been sniffing around the Colonel and had been collected from the Colonel's private room at least once:

Jake, literally loving life: "not that I'd want one anyways"

Trudy: "at least he's a fucking twig, I think we'd know.... right?"

Norm: "yeah!... yeah?"

Grace: "please tell me you used protection"

Eywa: do you know you have 30 minutes?

.

.

.

bonus content:

Jake, mid labor, just starting to conceptualize he is having a baby, might have broken Trudy's hand, but she's taking it like a champ: "I don't want a baby I don't want a baby, please, Grace, I don't want a baby, please, make it stop."

Jake when he has his baby in his arms, crying over him: "no one's ever gonna take you away from me, hear me bug?"

Grace, trying to just check the kid over one last time before she tries to get some sleep: "can I just—"

Jake: literally tries to bite her

Grace:

Grace: "do you want to try that again? Mr. 'I don't want a baby'?"

Jake and Bug: "go away"

Jake was on Pandora for a year before Tommy's avatar shipped in, he shipped out on the ship prior to Tommy's. legs fixed up as part of the deal to get him out there. they needed men, reliable men. and with Tommy preparing for the avatar program, having brother's out there might do them some good. he heard one of his old Colonel's put in the good word for him. he doesn't know why they chose him, out of just anybody, why they fixed his legs. but they did.

he wakes up, his legs work, he hardly remember being put out for the surgery. and his brother is dead. has been dead, for 6 years now. died the week before he was supposed to ship out. sick joke is what it is. but there's no changing it.

they're sending the avatar. they sent it. it's a year off. he's gonna drive it. he doesn't even think about it. just nods his head. his brother is dead.

and he's got a year to grieve. he's got a few friends. some grunt work to do. nothing that doesn't come easy.

and then there's the Colonel. he's a nice man. to him anyways. easy on the eyes. his nurturing ways and sharp wit and private king-sized bed definitely keep Jake's mind off of everything. rough hands and strong arms and the beating of a heart against a warm chest keeps him tethered to this alien planet. Jake always had a thing for authority, even if he'd rarely swung this way.

Miles doesn't seem to mind what's between his legs either.

it lasts a while. they normally play it safe. but sometimes, some... action. catches them off guard. but it's never been a problem.

.

.

.

the avatar arrives.

Jake's been preparing with the squints whenever's he's not stuck to the Colonel's side. Grace puts up with him, glad she's at least gotten a year to whip him into shape. he's learned some Na'vi, not enough, but some. he's not... entirely clueless. she's sending 75% marine, 25% grunt into the woods, and that's... better then nothing.

she's quick to get him away from his Colonel. he misses him.

he likes the avatar. likes feeling bigger, stronger. there's something else. he can't quite place it. but it's better.

they move up to the mountains quick.

.

he meets Neytiri. he doesn't know it, but she nearly kills him. she saves his life. her people take a chance on him.

.

he doesn't spend a ton of time in his human body. a few hours, not counting sleeping, at very best.

being mostly sedentary and stuck to terrible field rations is doing a number on him. he's exhausted all of the time. terrible heartburn. an odd morning or two he's woken up to the need to throw his guts up. but he never really questions it. he's abusing the shit out of this human body. he should expect some retribution. he can handle it.

.

months pass. three, to be exact.

he wakes up feeling some wicked type of awful. he tries linking, only to throw up, a pain radiating from his core. he can't focus.

he proclaims it's his appendix, as Grace helps him lie back down in his bunk. then she reminds him that they get their appendix's removed for cryo travel. he hits his head against the bunk.

"I gotta be dying, Grace. this is fucking awful," he groans, clutching his middle, "Lord help me..." "relax marine, you caught a bug. get some sleep. you'll live."

his son is born just over an hour later.

pushed him out while doubled over in bed with an audience of his panicking nerd friend who looks ready to pass out. his pilot who won't quit calling him a dumbass in between counting out a breathing excersize he's certainly ignoring. and his work mom, who's going between putting her head where it certainly doesn't feel like it belongs, and sitting behind him to rock him like a baby. in the middle of the floating mountains. on an alien planet. when he knows war is incoming. and the man who got him pregnant will be leading that charge. he helped him get ready for it.

he's stressed out to say the least.

his baby boy comes out screaming. which is good. he doesn't want him crying, but that little boy's got a good set of lungs. Norm blurts out that it's a boy. Jake just smiles between curses. Grace is checking the little one over and wrapping him up in a spare blanket, just enough to keep him warm, before pressing him directly to Jake's chest. Trudy and Norm are stealing glances, ooing and awwing all the while.

and then he's back to curling up his sweaty, and now bloodied, sheets. crying into his baby's skin, he's so soft and delicate. wriggling to press as close to Jake's being as he can. his baby loves him so much. his baby loves him so much, and all Jake can think about is how he's doomed. there's not escaping his father's blood. two humans. two demons. one of which is gunning for the Na'vi, the other helped him. fucks sake, he was born on a mountain top in the middle of an inhabitable planet for his little lungs.

"what did I do to you, bubba?" is all he can murmur, holding his infant closer and closer, "what did I do? you just got here, and I alreayd ruined your life, huh baby?"

the baby just coos and settles, his still wet little forehead pressing to Jake's lips, making little sounds every time they move with Jake's words or because he's kissing his baby's head.

Jake's got his arms around him. making sure he's warm and covered every other moment. heart hammering in his chest.

what did he do?

.

Neytiri does not know why Jake did not return to the village that day. she assumes it was important.

.

it had been a few hours. he was sore and spent and certainly in shock.

with how poorly he'd been caring for himself, Grace is surprised he managed to survive the damn pregnancy, let alone the labor. she wasn't that kind of doctor, but she also wasn't stupid. unlike the idiot who's still got his head in her lap, and her hand rubbing his back, and the other making sure he doesn't manage to drop the baby, because she's, unfortunately, gotten herself attached.

"we could call him bug," Jake quips, looking up at Grace, "then it really would be just a bug."

no one really finds his joke funny, but they all manage to laugh.

it's settling in that there is a baby amongst them. a baby who can't fit an exopack. a baby who can't go outside. a baby that shouldn't exist.

a baby they can't feed unless, by a miracle, Jake can chest feed.

it's been only a few hours. and this poor kid might really be screwed. but can they go back to base? the only way to do that would be to keep Jake and the kid in the trailer, and flying like that through the mountains is... a choice.

.

the next time he sees either of his lovers. he's telling them he's got a kid. it doesn't go over well.

Quaritch takes it well, for a mere moment, but tells him if anyones finds out he's the father, they're all better off dead. tells him not to bring "that thing home". tells him he'll "figure out" formula and Trudy can fly it out. tells him it'll be fine when they "level that patch of blue skins" and can "make their own home". Jake feels queasy.

when he tells Neytiri, she feels betrayed. she knows it was before Jake met her. and believes that he didn't know. he couldn't have betrayed her, by definition. but there is a hurt she cannot place with any other word by betrayal. she needs time, she says. Jake knows they don't have it. but can't get himself to say the words.

.

he's alone. not really. he's got his son in his arms. he's looking down at his sleeping features, tracing them with a thumb.

the baby, still lacking a name other then "bug", twitches, then noses into it. he's got the softest blonde hair, and big brown eyes, when he opens them. Jake can't quite looking at him.

this baby fills him with so much fear. it's palpable. he can feel his heart racing every time he imagines their future.

but he's perfect. he coos and sleeps. leaves unmentionables in the makeshift diapers the crew are pulling together. but he's too damned cute for Jake to care.

the first time he grips onto Jake's finger, he swears he forgets everything else.

"I've got you, bug, I've got you," he whispers in his little one's ear, lifting him back up to his chest, "we're gonna be ok. somehow."

.

Jake thinks about killing himself and the baby for a moment. it's fleeting and makes him sick to his stomach. passing the baby to Trudy to go throw up.

it had been a thought of mercy. a thought of how do I make sure he never feels fear once in his tiny life. of how do I make sure I don't orphan him. of dear god what have I done and what will I do now.

but he just can't. he can't do that to his little baby.

.

the war comes. Jake knows it's nipping at their heals, and having a baby to protect changes things. he finds his courage.

he tells the Omatikaya that the humans are coming. and pleads for them to harbor his baby.

.

Neytiri holds her son, accepting him into her heart the same day she will kill one of his fathers.

one must die so another can take their place.

.

.

I personally *need* the angst, or at the very least, initial conflict, of Spider being human (or the son of Quaritch. if he was a Na'vi hybrid or Na'vi tube baby). but I could be swayed to like the concept of him being Jake's bio son if you messed with the timeline a bit and Jake didn't know until after.

like. say. he shipped out to Pandora before Tommy left for the Avatar program. maybe he was never paralyzed. maybe he got cut some deal to go out into some of the meanest bush humans were facing, if they fixed his legs for him. who knows.

but he was out there.

and he was out there a year. and a lot can happen in a year. one could get pretty lonely.

and maybe he had slept around a bit. and someone got pregnant. and he didn't know, they didn't talk after their single, drunken hookup.

but after that year, Tommy's avatar is sent out there with no one to pilot it. and then it's him. they probably sent it knowing he was still on Pandora and could operate it. and he's going out into the forest with new eyes and falling in love with Neytiri and becoming one of the Omatikaya. and finally defecting after years of just not getting it.

and the war comes. and suddenly there's an orphan kid he's gotta deal with, and they're trying to DNA match the parents.

and then it's him. this orphaned kid. and the kid could only be a few months old. and it's his. the kid isn't an orphan.

the kid is his and human and born from a woman he barely knew. (or we could trans this man's gender, make it a cryptic pregnancy. and it was Q's kid too... up to y'all. I feel like my username and quarjake tendancies might tell you which way I lean... especially with the longer I keep thinking about it. ohhhhh. I'm thinking about it. this just hit me mid blurb. and I'm thinking about it. we're continuing this later I think). maybe she was high ranking. maybe she was someone that could be recognized similarly to Quaritch.

and he has to face Neytiri with that fact.

he has a human son.

and he doesn't want to abandon his son. but it's hard for Neytiri. though she could never ask him to do that. the Na'vi place far too much value on children and parenthood for her to even consider it. and the baby being Jake's would make it easier. but it's still... a lot.

but that's gonna be her cub, in the end, regardless.

and Spider being Jake's actually is starting to get to me the longer I think about it. cause it's actually kinda heartbreaking if you think about it.

he's looking down at this little war-torn "orphan" in his arms, in the arms of the human body he's soon to abandon, knowing he's already doomed this innocent little being to such a hard life. a human on pandora. a son of a demon amongst the people. a son of his fucked up blood. he doesn't yet know if Neytiri will accept him.

and then the kid grows, and he is so connected to Pandora and Eywa. and he's accepted. but still. that's his most fragile baby. and he probably treats him similarly to Lo'ak, when the war returns.