𝔻𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕪𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕔

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

Nathan hangs on to Duke. It’s his *thing*. He Always Does.

- when Duke dies on the street in Audrey Parker’s Dat Off? Nathan clutches Duke’s jacket (Duke holds on to his arm 🥺) and afterwards, even repositions it to still be holding on.

- Duke apparently going team Rev and holding a gun on Nathan in the woods? As he passes by, Nathan once again reached out and HOLDS ON to Duke’s shirt while they are talking.

- very briefly and not so much holding on as reaching out and also INSANE? When they are struggling over the gun in 301, their hands are SO close together and Nathan’s actually sways to briefly touche Duke’s for a second. Madness.

And this is just up to episode 3x01 because I haven’t watched the rest yet? But it’s something that really stands out to me; I don’t see Nathan doing this with anyone else in his life; not even Audrey.

"'fandom' is a vehicle of marginalized subcultural groups (women, the young, gays, etc.) to pry open space for their cultural concerns within dominant representations; it is a way of appropriating media texts and rereading them in a way that serves different interests, a way of transforming mass culture into a popular culture"

Jenkins, Henry. “Star Trek Rerun, Reread, Rewritten: Fan Writing as Textual Poaching.” Critical Studies in Mass Communication 5, no. 2 (1988): 85–107. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295038809366691.  

There I saw you standing, must've been a holy light

every longing stare. every time Duke met, and very often defied a fate that meant leaving Nathan, and Nathan staring at him like he was the very air he needed to breathe to survive. after Ball and Chain. after the car wreck. when Duke coughs to life after drowning. after getting him back from the barn. after every cough and moment he ended up on the ground, but he's still breathing. after he came back through the fog.

'Cause I can't see and I can't feel, but the color in your eyes is saying

Nathan can't feel a single hug he gives to Duke. can't feel their hands on one another. every touch of affirmation, of grounding, of it's ok, I'm here. it goes unfelt. he can't bring himself to see Duke as he truly is, vision fogged by every wall of protection and resentment he put between them. and yet those brown eyes always find him.

if my dreams come up empty, and I wash up on the shore, you would find me at the beach in every life. through every door.

every time Nathan's world fell apart, since he was a kid, since he broke his arm sledding, to feeling like a failure wanting to quit the force, to the very end. Duke was there. he'd always end up at Duke's side. carried by him to ER. playing pool. on his boat. in his bar. in his arms. finding relief and respite in his presence no matter how much he proclaims to hate him. Duke is his shore when he lost at sea. sometimes he get's scraped on the rocks of Duke's ways, cut on the barnacles of their past. but it's solid dry ground nonetheless. a familiar face behind a door, whether he has the guts to reach out to him or not [whether he flees the Gull like a coward, or he embraces him].

With a boombox at your father's

Duke saved him from breaking under his father's pressure. gave up a life of potential prosper all to ensure a cop who knew him like the back of his hand and would always beat him to the punch, see through his lies, find his hiding spots, knew his mind, would stay on the first. to get Nathan to keep the badge that gives him the permission to hassle him. all without credit.

he helped bury his father. even though he didn't have to. even though he had every right to be angry that Garland saved one troubled boy, and it wasn't him. even though Nathan had been just short of difficult lately. he helped him bury him.

Walking with you at the morgue

and when Duke was plagued by the loss of a lover— Evi, Jennifer —ready to let the pain kill him. let it rip him apart. he walked right by his side. keeping him safe.

You don't have to search when I know everything you're looking for. Oh, and we could talk about it. Or just stare at the wall

they're so similar. painfully similar. their fates tied. two sides of the same coin. they know each other so well because they're all but mirrors. but they don't like to talk about it. they'll sit over a beer or trade fists or shout words they don't mean, then acknowledge it.

But I think that you know better than what they think they call, "A luminary no one... is all they'll ever be"

everyone told him Duke was a no one. he believed it, said it himself. but was constantly reminded. Duke was a lowlife. a criminal. a no good waste of space. and yet...

And how could you be no one, when you're everything to me?

Duke was his best friend. his partner in crime. the man who saved him time and time again when Nathan himself didn't deserve it. his rival. his enemy. the bravest, most selfless man he ever knew. a man who might have been and could have been more than a friend. a man he might have loved. a man he did love. he just wasn't always sure in what way that was. a man he hated just as much. a man he would try to save again and again and again, while promising their fate at every turn. his greatest mistake, regret, pain. his greatest love, friend, and creator of his fondest memories.

You're everything to me. You're everything to me. You're everything to me

and it really doesn't seem like a "well, if nathan remains a cop, i benefit from it because he'll always let me off easy" or whatever. like duke he didn't do it for himself. he did it purely for nathan's happiness. so that nathan can look good to his dad. so that nathan can remain a cop because he knows nathan wants to be a cop. and it happened during the height of their animosity too, welllllll before audrey came into town and made them get their shit together.