:))

pandora’s box but it’s a gamecube

She opens up the disc drive and all the horrors of the world are released but there is also a copy of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

uh oh! the villainous Dr. Frown has stolen all of the smiles from Happy City! we need the aid of Gigglegirl to put a stop to his reign of terror! :(

okay, so, we were expecting Gigglegirl to just, like, cheer up the citizens of Happy City to return our smiles. we did not expect her to do that to Dr. Frown. our deep and sincere condolences to the Frown family

there is nothing a corporation hates more than having employees, but a close second is having to provide a good or service in order to make money. these two reasons concisely explain is why the ai bubble formed in the first place.

I have been reading a book on Greek history lately unrelated to me watching Nolan’s Odyssey and it’s so funny watching spider man talk about the Greeks like they’re a unified civilization because when you look at early Greek history it’s like “And then the Greek speaking peoples couldn’t stop fighting each other for two minutes to try and deal with the bigger problem” over and over again

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

you're also, like, thinking about it a little bit whenever you see one, and it's annoying because not only is it wrong but it's also taking up mental bandwidth and you can't delete net zero information at will

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

“they took away her beautiful curls 😭 #starfire #wonderwoman #spoiler” bruv one of those things ain’t like the others…

like i’m all for more curly hair in comics but Steph had actual curly hair like. one time. and Cassie was also given curly hair