Nerdy Ramblings

@lymeandcoconut

#lmaooooo #my fave is that episode of white collar where neil is doing a theft #and the music they play over it is leporello's 'here's the list of all the hundreds of women my boss has fucked' aria from don giovanni #it's supposed to just sound grand and sophisticated but the guy is singing about how DG fucks tall women short women #fat women skinny women princesses and peasants he fucks them all! #and here's the numbers broken down by nationality! #he's fucked over 1000 women in spain you know!

It’s Ilya’s first season in Ottawa. He and Yuna are engaging in their favorite shared pastime: looking at Shane’s baby photos. Ilya starts to notice this grumpy little white boy in the background of all these adorable pictures of Shane. He’s like, “Yuna 🤨 Who is this boy glaring at our Shane?”

And Yuna’s like, “Oh, that’s Ricky, Shane’s cousin.” Ilya’s shocked. Shocked! He has a PhD in Shane Hollander and he hasn’t heard of any COUSIN. He says as much and Yuna sighs and is like, “Yeah, they’re not close. He picked on Shane a lot, you know, the shy, awkward, Japanese boy. It got even worse when they got a bit older because Ricky plays hockey too so of course he’s jealous of Shane.”

And Ilya’s like, “😡 I will kill this man! Where does he live?”

Yuna laughs and tells him that he still lives in Ottawa, actually. That he’s sort of a mess, always moving from one startup job to another. He cheated on his first wife and he somehow managed to lock down a second wife who’s gorgeous and way too good for him. Yuna shows Ilya photos from their recent wedding and they gossip about it (because gossip is another favorite shared pastime of theirs).

A few months later, Ilya’s out for lunch with some guys on the team and he sees a man at a nearby table who looks…familiar. He’s internally like, “Where do I know him from? 🤔 Did I have a threesome with them? No, I would never sleep with someone that ugly.” That’s when it hits him…it’s Shane’s loser cousin! And he’s out with a woman who is NOT his second beautiful wife.

Ilya starts watching them like a hawk. He ignores the Centaurs and is just staring at the two of them. The vibe between them is romantic, he can tell, but he’s waiting for definitive proof. Then, finally, they lean in for a kiss and Ilya snaps some pictures. It’s at this point that Bood’s like, “Uhhh wtf are you doing?”

But Ilya ignores Bood, puts his phone down, and keeps glaring at Ricky. The nerve of this man! How does he share any DNA with Shane? It’s unfathomable.

Ricky does eventually notice Ilya looking over, but he doesn’t think anything of it, of course. He has no idea that Ilya’s family. He actually uses it to impress his date. He says very loudly, “Oh look, that’s Ilya Rozanov. He’s rivals with my cousin Shane Hollander. Yeah, that Shane Hollander. Uh huh, we’re very close.”

Ilya’s fuming at this point. How dare he name drop Shane to impress this woman he’s cheating on his wife with? He tips their waitress $100 to slip her a note saying “he’s married” in case she doesn’t know. Then he leaves the restaurant (yes, the Cens are still sitting there, baffled) and drives straight to Yuna and David’s.

He storms inside (it’s the first time he lets himself in, but not the last) and right up to Yuna who takes one look at his face and says, “Wine. We need wine.”

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

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I figured my options were to switch on the space heater and sit in front of it or take a drastically hot shower so I did the latter (seemed safer). I didn't think about taking my temperature until I was getting out of the hot shower which raised my core temperature (and starting to shiver again).

It turned out to be 101F.

It's time for a fun game of VIRUS! OR! ANXIETY!

Because apparently anxiety can cause sudden chills and I am highly strung.

It's not COVID (I tested) but it might be a sinus infection or might just be my body fucking with me. I have no other symptoms so far and my temperature is now 99.1 which is normal for me. I'm not dehydrated, my blood sugar and pressure are both fine, I haven't fucked with my meds or eaten anything I didn't safely cook myself. I've got Tylenol and some Azelastine on board. But it's 75F in here now and I'm completely under the blankets with the heated mattress pad on.

Summertime; Groceries…