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Hi, it’s me, your Flix Bus driver. I heard some of you back there asking why we’re on this dirt road in the middle of a cow pasture if this is supposed to be a direct line from Berlin to Munich. To that I say: you all need to mind your own damn business and look at the fucking moo cows.

parents will be like “you’ve changed” and it’s just you started doing the things that make you comfortable that you always wanted to do but was too scared to express your wants and needs

hunted across the prairie by "new password cannot be identical to old password", "you cannot reuse one of your 5 last passwords" "you entered an old password"

Honestly if we didn’t share the planet with funny little animals I would have fucking lost it years ago

I regularly think about that arsehole developer CEO (or whatever the fuck he was) who goaded chatGPT into helping him try to screw over the Subnautica 2 creators, failed spectacularly as one might expect, and now his company literally loses money every time somebody buys Subnautica 2 on Steam

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

You should be able to listen to a full album without looking at your phone. You should be able to watch a 3 hour film from beginning to end without checking social media. If you can't do this, you need to start training your attention span as if it were a physical muscle. I don't experience boredom or restlessness because I've trained my brain to not be dependent on quick stimuli and dopamine hits. If you can't chill on a park bench while waiting for a friend with just your imagination to keep you company, you need to learn how to do it ASAP because one day we may not have access to the internet.

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.