Land of Flight and Stars

Hiya y’all! As someone who has become a fan of Dungeon Meshi (honestly one of my favorite franchises at this moment) I’d just like to give more of a nuanced take on a shipping discourse I’ve seen. I’d like to clarify this with I am an NA. I’ve literally been recognized by the country I live in through the sunshine awards system on my contributions to my patients lives. All this to say, I know a bit about healthcare. And I also think that. Personally, people should be allowed to ship whatever they please. They shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for what they enjoy, especially if it isn’t hurting anyone.

I’d like to clarify what I am speaking on, this being the controversy surrounding the ships Mithrun and Kabru, vs Laios and Kabru. Both of which are valid ships in my opinion! I think both are great! And whichever you like you should feel comfortable and happy to indulge in it.

I work mostly with geriatric and bariatric patients, as I work on a cardiac unit. So, by proxy, I witness a lot of disabled people come through. This to say that these people HAVE partners. And their partners care for them. Such as feeding their partners if they need help eating, helping their partners feel safe if they have dementia, I have even seen someone clean their spouse after they had soiled themself. All of which are examples of love and affection, as partners. Not as a provider doing their job.

The argument i see many a time against the ship of Mithrun and Kabru, is that it is unethical. As Kabru would be a “provider” in this case, and Mithrun would be a “patient” to this I say, is Kabru being paid in this hypothetical? Is he following training he has been given? Is he following a code of ethics given to healthcare workers when he helps Mithrun with his disability? Disabled people deserve love. And they deserve a partner that cares for them. So the argument that the ship is gross is kind of… weird. Isn’t it? Again. Mithrun and Kabru as partners do not have to be your cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean that anyone who DOES ship them is gross or immoral. Helping your partner because they are disabled is an act of love, and completely different from a provider helping their patient.

Statistically, everyone will either die able bodied or live to become disabled. It happens to everyone. Disabilities are almost as much of a fact of life as breathing is. I am new to the Dungeon Meshi fandom, but the insinuation that someone able bodied cannot have a disabled partner is kind of horrible to actual able bodied/disabled partnerships? The dynamic is so common, and so to say that it is gross, almost implies that the dynamic in a day to day is gross.

please hear me out because i do not want you to stumble into repeating racist rhetoric unwittingly.

-kabru is not freely giving care to his bf in the story, he is being detained and is not free to do as he wants. he is being coerced into caring for mithrun. he stops doing so as soon as he regains his freedom

-this is a highly racialized dynamic. kabru is a brown tallman, and mithrun is a white elf. both in our world and in the text, kabru belongs to a class which is expected to take under- and un-paid roles as caretakers to white disabled people. ceo of tumblr was recently sued for enslaving a woman to care for his geriatric mother--this is a real life problem that we are seeing people replicate in fiction. it is not neutral

-kabrus discomfort in caring for mithrun is completely ignored in favor of only looking at the times kabru feels fondness for mithrun or is kind despite mithruns mistreatment of him. kabru repeatedly expresses how difficult this is for him and how much he does not want to be doing this, and he does not return to being mithruns caretaker. even in 94, he gives a peptalk and stays to make sure mithrun carries out his promise and doesnt hurt himself. he does nothing that could reasonably be described as caretaking

-again, this is racial. much of the fanart and fanfic where kabru is mithruns caretaker puts kabru in a servile position. on his knees, at mithruns feet, beneath him. often only kabrus hands can be seen performing care that mithrun doesnt even need, like bathing and hand feeding him. its extremely racist to warp their dynamic into a master/servant one. in the text, kabru only tries to handfeed mithrun when hes frustrated with him (and his coerced role as caretaker) and mithrun clearly resents the action, yet i see this one CONSTANTLY as if there is no racial baggage to this imagery

-if you actually pay attention to the way kabru is emoting during the time he's with mithrun you'll see he isn't actually that upset about it after he's gotten over the initial surprise of having this new task, and people often ignore that mithrun plays a large hand in helping them both survive by teleporting them out of danger and helping to procure ingredients for food.

-he isn't just relying on kabru the entire time and kabru would be dead without him. kabru also gets all the information about the dungeon he's ever wanted thanks to mithrun freely sharing it with him when he asks, which leads kabru to change his mind about wanting laios to be the dungeon lord because of how much he loves monsters.

-the panel of kabru screaming in his head about how he doesn't want to become like laios when he realizes he'll have to eat monsters is often used as shipping material for some reason too despite his obvious distress.

-not to mention KABRU is the one who put the both of them in that situation in the first place by grabbing mithrun so they'd both fall into the hole after mithrun was about to defeat thistle. they would have had to work together to survive and kabru likely would have been helping mithrun on his own even without cithis's coercion. i believe kui put that blackmail aspect in because talking to the canaries through the fairy would mean they would threaten kabru for kidnapping mithrun and it foreshadows that they will meet up with the canaries again. it's not to make you hate mithrun for having needs that he can't fulfill himself. HE isn't even the one who blackmailed kabru.

-after the caretaker role of kabru's is over when the canaries come back and he's sure his friends are safe, kabru still takes it upon himself to make sure mithrun doesn't hurt himself when it doesn't benefit kabru at all like stopping mithrun from going after the demon when marcille becomes dungeon lord and, yes, the pep talk.

-in that same chapter kabru even goes out of his way to stop mithrun from using all his magic while he's slicing up meat. there was no one around to get brownie points from, he just cared about mithrun's well-being. your take on that shows how your perception of their relationship just drowns out the emotional weight these moments were supposed to have because you were apparently viewing it through a racial lens.

-as a person of color i can see why someone who isn't a person of color would jump to the conclusion that a dark skinned person in that kind of position might look inherently servile, but i haven't seen in that way at all. it's extremely exaggerated for the sake of hate and i've seen PLENTY of labru art of kabru subjugating himself to laios. there was even one art captioned "[laios] colonizing kabru's womb" are you fucking kidding me? do not put it all on kabumisu or just ignore the racial aspect all together and see them as people NOT by the color of their skin. i swear you're overthinking it. Kabumisu fans enjoy their dynamic in a myriad of ways.

-a ship isn't defined by its fanart considering fans ignore actual text when making it literally all the time.

-many labru shippers even overhaul kabru's entire character as being for the sake of getting in laios's pants and ignore his actual motivations of uncovering the mystery of the dungeon. as such they insist that kabru becoming an advisor in the castle after the story ended was to be close to laios, when it's more likely because he's always desired a position of power and he's just good with diplomatic stuff and acts as a perfect conclusion for his character because of all he went through to make up for surviving the utaya disaster.

don't try make it seem like it's morally disingenuous to ship kabru and mithrun when many of these complaints can be said for labru as well.

also the only genuine, soft smiles kabru has shown during the story are both aimed at mithrun.

-kabrus discomfort in his dynamic with mithrun is generally ignored whereas with laios its joked about because kabru Puts Himself in that position (there was never a point where he would be in danger for saying monsters make me uncomfortable, nor would it have seemed that way. he specifically wanted to gain laios' favor). sure, you could make the same argument for his situation with mithrun, but i sincerely doubt kabru knew that 1. he was going to live through that fall and 2. that mithrun would need any sort of care.

-also teleportation is inherently dangerous and potentially deadly. mithrun has killed multiple guards with his teleportation. he teleports kabru to use as a meat shield at least once that i can recall. we like to forget that fact.

-kabru is someone who generally cares about humans. of course he is going to come to care for mithrun after a week of getting to know him as a person rather than as a canary.

-everything is viewed through a racial lens it came free with your existence in a racialized society. everyone has and does racist actions and thoughts. obviously, characters of color will get this treatment too. this isnt just kabumisu shippers. kui herself does this to her own characters. think about who gets comforted in the story. i dont think theres a single Kabru Comfort Moment.

-no, fanart/fanfic doesnt define a canon dynamic. however. none of these ships are canon. so fanart/fanfic 100% affects perception of these ships. it shows us what people take away from canon. and a lot of people seem to take away from kabru and mithruns dynamic that kabru is an endlessly patient caretaker with no problems of his own and mithrun is a helpless little guy who needs his mouth wiped after every bite.

-did you miss the friendship confession scene. obviously, being in a really cool political position would be super desirable for kabru. but its directly in the text that kabru wants to understand laios.

-the implication i got from kabru throwing himself and mithrun into the hole wasnt him trying to blackmail mithrun, he was trying to murder suicide. "the rest is up to you now, laios!"

-they are not people they are fictional characters. objects. through which we can examine our own lives, biases, philosophies, and more.

-i would just like for the court to recognize there is a huge difference between being a Royal Advisor to a (white) tallman king who kind of needs you specifically (high position in a royal court. even if that kingdom is a bit rinkydink at the moment) and being a temporary caretaker to a (white) elven imperial soldier, who you need to keep alive and in good health to ensure your own survival.

like i said that same racial dynamic plays a part in how fans view labru and it's often in a worse way as many labru fans choose to see kabru's position in the castle as a way to make him a sire for laios's children a lot of the time which if you wanna go there is reminiscent of a house slave smfh

kabru quite literally put himself in that caretaker position by having himself and mithrun fall into the hole and i never said kabru was blackmailing anyone, just that he's the reason the two of them ended up traveling together in the first place. after trying to kill mithrun alongside himself if they got injured and it wasn't a needs issue it would still make sense for kabru to help him out and MITHRUN HELPS KABRU during that time too. also don't use that as a reason people shouldn't ship them as if characters with more turbulent dynamics don't exist.

you don't need to tell me that these are characters i am well aware, but i'm not the one insisting there's a moral issue with shipping them together so idk why you felt the need to bring that up to me when you're arguing about the same thing and talking about the characters safety of all things. you are being hypocritical. like marcille's explosion magic is just as potentially dangerous as teleportation but are you going to be mad at her for needing to use it?

i'm not defending them, but the canaries are all unwilling participants and are unwillingly drafted, despite what they represent, none of them want to be there and mithrun has expressed resentment in being forced to join himself. also, psychologically, being with someone in a perilous situation tends to bring you closer together and many are ignoring how the time kabru and mithrun spent together served the themes of the narrative (plus there's this thing called the florence nightingale effect). it would have been more obvious that the experience was meant to be wholly negative if that's what kui meant for it to be, but it was also played for laughs in the same way kabru forcing himself to listen to laios speak about monsters was. laios's crew goes through very similar dissent throughout the manga like chilchuck getting mad at laios for making social blunders and izutsumi needing time to warm up to everyone along with racial tensions between marcille, chilchuck and senshi.

about fandom perception, as you can see here i wrote about how fans ignore kabru to make labru work and many labru fan works show that way of thinking as well as posts labru fans create.

of course fans would mostly show the caretaker aspect of their dynamic because that's the most prominent way they were introduced but as someone who engages with kabumisu works i see that is NOOOT the only way they are portrayed. a lot of surface level labru fanart is based of their first/most prominent interaction as well.

the point to take away here is kabumisu is not the only ship in dungeon meshi or any fandom that has problems in the narrative OR the fandom so there's no real reason to come after it like this as if it's bad to ship them.

but at the end i think fictional charas can have different interpretations and one is free to think whatever one wants so

Including eating by himself, multiple times.

And even more importantly, Mithrun himself is resistant to being fed by hand.

Now. Would it have been shameful if Mithrun did need to be fed and bathed by someone else? Of course not. Would it have made him less worthy of respect? No. In fact, that's exactly the state he was in right after the canaries rescued him from his dungeon!

However, the Mithrun from that time and the Mithrun we meet in the story are at completely different steps of his recovery. He can eat by himself, if reminded to. He can bathe, when reminded to. Really, the only thing that necessitates more than a reminder is sleeping! There's no need for it to be forced on him!

The important thing, to me, is that being fed, bathed, and clothed by hand is something that, while often necessary, can feel extremely violating- like your boundaries are being stepped over completely, like you have no say what happens with your body. The original post was just me feeling sad that the present Mithrun, while not needing any of that support, still has his bodily autonomy and boundaries completely overlooked simply because people assume he's completely helpless.

Obviously some of this is because Kabru is young, so most people out in the world are inevitably older than him, and some of this is also because obviously Kabru mostly interacts with people in order to accomplish his goals... And to do that, he needs allies with power.

So of course he primarily interacts with people who are old enough to have accumulated some kind of power. Those are the people who he has the most to gain from... And yes, I think he finds those types of people the most interesting.

(Of course, Kabru isn't a real person, so Kui chose to make him like this and have him interact almost exclusively with people much older than himself...)

But I'll also note that, as much as Kabru seems attracted to power, competence and influence... he does not seem to like people having power over him. That is the entire reason he doesn't like the way the elves do things, because he has no control when he lives in their society. So power is both compelling and repulsive depending on how it's being wielded...

We know he would rather die than return to living in Milsiril's house, which makes a lot of sense when you realize that her entire life revolves around making sure she only has to interact with people who can't tell her no: orphaned children of the short-lived races, a prisoner/servant who has to obey her or be sent back to prison, and inanimate dolls. Of course living there makes Kabru miserable, and he fears returning.

I think this is the primary reason that he isn't attracted to Rin: Rin has good intentions and she loves Kabru dearly, but she tends to nag at him and try to tell him what to do, how to act, etc... And I think he really, really doesn't like that, even if sometimes she might be right and he really should listen to her... He chafes against being told what to do, and it makes him act rebellious in response.

All of that said, here's the people Kabru is involved with. Obviously there's his whole party, where everyone is at least a little, if not a lot older than Kabru...

Then you have Holm's sister, who is even older than Holm, and very clearly has a crush on Kabru:

The women Kabru is most likely charming from the What-If comic about Milsiril visiting him. At least two or three out of the four shown here look like they could be someone's grandmother or mother. The only one that looks explicitly young is the one with ribbons (?) and freckles.

The "witch" woman.

Kabru's landlord.

Daya's fiancee.

Milsiril's family matriarch/patriarch (obviously in this case he's just a kid but still, he ends up gravitating towards the oldest person available.)

The Shadow Governor.

Yaad.

And of course, Mithrun.

Where did this type of interpretation for Mithrun came from? There's nothing about him that indicates he's "right wing" or any more racist than the average elf and due to his condition he literally isn't able to care about that.

The sentiment of "Mithrun is a racist grandpa" seems to have gone from an absurdist joke based on him saying a "slur" into a real interpretation of the character??

First of all he's 37 in tallman years he is not a grandpa, I know it was a joke based on him being rough and the fact he's an elf (185 years old) but I'm starting to think some people really think he's grandpa age? He isn't, he's about as old as Senshi and Chilchuck, Senshi is actually older than him being 47 in tallman years if he's a grandpa they are too, it's going from funny way to call him into ableist territory pretty fast.

Second he doesn't have the ability to be racist anymore, racism implies a sense of superiority compared to someone else from another race, which all the elves have. Let's go thru his anime appearance and what happens.

Kabru shows up and tries to speak to the elves and convince them to try his way. The elves think the short lived people are all ignorant and treat them condescendingly, even Tansu because they live more than any other race

Then they go from "Short lived people are too stupid to know anything" into "Oh my god this poor baby come on have some cake :)" which is ALSO condescending, nobody is taking Kabru or the governor seriously because they're short lived. These elves are RACIST they're treating Kabru like he's a confused kid "come eat some cake and let the adults talk"

Mithrun is the only authority figure that wants to listen to Kabru

He is a shell of who he used to be, right now he ONLY cares about defeating the demon, if there is a chance this kid (who has had experience with dungeons before) knows another way to get him what he wants he will listen to it, cause he *doesn't* have the capability of being like the other elves.

This doesn't mean he's anti-racist, it means he literally doesn't care, he lets the other elves mistreat Kabru in every other scene unless it has something to do with defeating the dungeon, cause he *doesn't* care. He's not gonna complain about immigrants cause he doesn't care he's not gonna treat short lived people like kids cause he doesn't care, he cannot care, he lost the ability to care.

Past Mithrun was the one that was both racist classicist and a bitch, but that part of him is basically dead.

He said the slur because they asked him not because he thinks is appropriate, the other elves aren't casual racists and him the *real* racist they are all just as bad he just doesn't have the "desire to be socially acceptable" I guess, they asked, he answered and that was it.

If it would make it easier try to think about it in terms of real life bigotry and how people keep going "you can't even say (...) because of the woke" they aren't any less racist they just worry about being socially acceptable racists.

Anyway, please don't just repeat what other people say as jokes as if they're true especially when you're saying it about a disabled character. Acting like he's worse than his peers because he doesn't have the capability of being socially aware is ableism, calling him a grandpa because he has had a rough life that made him look disheveled is ableism, saying he's past his prime is also ableist considering he learned how to fight *after* he became disabled.

screenshot redraw 😭

OH kabru absolutely

milsiril spared him and, decades later, helped him with his physical rehabilitation, but it seems like she more or less gave up on his personhood. no more desires -> no more mithrun as we knew him -> no more mithrun. she spared him because he wasn’t completely devoid of motivation to live, and she used the single motivator he had left to eventually get him to keep himself alive, and she briefly even seemed to want to try and instill some of his old mask (even with the understanding that that’s what it was) back into him, but that fell through immediately and i think with it went her optimism that mithrun would ever… be a person again. “too late now, i guess.”

then the canaries are on good enough terms with him, but they’re practically instructed to treat him like a weapon or a tool they’re maintaining. i believe it’s cithis that tells kabru to take care of mithrun but clarifies that really what that is is just making sure he eats. ensuring his baseline needs for survival are met. and really, that’s all she was ever tasked with. when it’s all over and mithrun is cataleptic, the canaries stay physically near him, but they seem to have accepted that he’s gone—without the demon to chase, he has nothing to live for. cithis, though, seems to be closer to mithrun than any of the others, and i don’t think it’s a coincidence that she’s the one who calls lycion off and encourages kabru to try engaging with him when she hears the beginning of what he has to say.

Kabru is used to being dehumanized by everyone (the villagers of Utaya for his blue eyes and bastard status, the elves, dwarves and gnomes for being a tall-man, everyone else for being a foreigner from the west), so he refuses to treat others that way. He loves people and wants to be good and kind to them.

He's aware of the intense ableism of elven society and can instantly guess exactly how Mithrun has been treated all this time. He obviously thinks to himself "nobody has even TRIED to help him, they've just given up on him. I'm going to do my best, maybe I can get through to him with a little bit of effort and basic human kindness." Kabru goes out of his way to be kind and gentle with Mithrun even though there is absolutely no benefit to him... and we can see that this works INCREDIBLY well, after 6 days Mithrun is doing much better (Lycion notices his hair is shinier), and he then immediately turns around and asks Kabru what HE wants to do when it's time for a decision to be made. Kabru reached out to Mithrun with kindness, and Mithrun responds with trust and respect in return. This is huge. The other canaries are SHOCKED when this happens, they clearly didn't think it was possible.

and of course the classic

No wonder Kabru doesn't just object to the claim that Mithrun's all but dead already, he's incensed by it!

I

Fuckin

Don't leave this in the tags, babe.

Now, he's an ugly senile dog with permanent eye stains who is too old and decrepit to function.

Making fun of his eyes is insanely ableist. No need to elaborate tbh.

He is unable to function because of severe trauma, not because of his age. He is the elven equivalent of 37, not 79. If we calculate the half-foot/tallmen age according to their average lifespan, then Chilchuck is about 35. Literally nobody treats Chilchuck like a grandpa, because he is not dysfunctional. Because he is not disabled.

He is incredibly competent at his job. He needs assistance to live, but he is one of, if not the, strongest fighters in the whole series. Reducing him to his disabilities while simultaneously degrading said disabilities is incredibly telling of the posters' character.

Mithrun is being dehumanized and people are uncritically repeating these jokes because it's funny in the moment. It's one thing to poke fun at your faves, it's another to be so unbelievably callous about a character's trauma by reducing it to only jokes.

Chief, I'm gonna level with ya; I'm not going to believe you actually like him when all you ever do is call him a dog that needs to be put down, or act super excited when someone agree with you on how ugly he is, or say that he's fundamentally unsuited for relationships because his disability will always burden his partner.