that DEEP tumblo

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

we tell the bagel, you are everything. do you ever worry we force the bagel to be too much to too many people

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

I'm emailing you a refreshing spring breeze

unfortunately we have to cancel mario because he supports playing golf

They're doing nothing to me #controlgroup

The censored version of super graphic ultra modern girl that plays at my workplace is actually superior because they censor the word “fugly” so Chappell just goes “He was wearing these……. Jeans.” and it sounds way more devastating

hate when mummy movies use Imhotep as the big bad. He was an architect. Imagine a mummy movie but the mummy is Frank Llyod Wright. And he was buried at the House On The Rock. Ok nevermind that would be a sick ass movie.

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock