MILFS!

Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink

"learn your queer history" I am from fucking INDIA

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

Oh boy, a complex character who's a woman! I love messy characters who hurt everyone around them and continue the cycles that hurt them!! Can't wait to share this joy with fellow fans– why's everyone calling her a bitch

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

a character being tragic does not preclude them from being a clown, a loser, evil, a bitchass punk, and/or someone who needs to get their shit rocked

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

wholesome