Mike Driver
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n

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Keni
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Janaina Medeiros
Xuebing Du
i don't do bad sauce passes
ojovivo

blake kathryn
we're not kids anymore.

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@blumetal

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I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."
The best part of this post is watching other amusement park enthusiasts reply to this with "It's okay, you can say (name of infamously problematic ride)," but every single one is saying the name of a different attraction
me, to the kids i worked with last week: welcome to medieval camp everyone! can anyone think of any fun medieval activities we might do here at camp this week?
kid: well, they used to do this thing where they would take your body and make it into four pieces and i think it was called quartering.
me: that’s called torture! we will not in fact be participating in torture this week! …anyone else?
GUESS WHO CAME BACK TO CAMP THIS YEAR
In one piece?
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables
This is what Sims watch

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this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry
We’re doing Postmodernism is Sociology, and the teacher was talking about ‘language games'— language that is so specialised that unless you’re part of a specific group it’s totally incomprehensible.
And, as an example, he gave us this monstrosity:
And, what’s even worse— I fucking UNDERSTOOD IT. I had to EXPLAIN this to my fucking sociology class.
This is why we should never have let the millenials become teachers.
God I wish that were me
A thousand years from now people will find this symbol and be at a Loss as to it’s meaning.
Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news
Like just @ me at this point I'm literally the only person in iceland (and very possibly the world) who has the first name Lauf
(Article title reads "Lauf and Birningur in group of new names in the name register")
No one lives here so now two of our biggest news outlets are vagueing about me lmao
Hmm you're right. Correction: two of our biggest media outlets are talking about me specifically because they are obsessed with me
This morning I showed up to work and my boss was like "congratulations :))" and I was kinda confused so asked her on what and she said "your name, I heard about it on the radio"
So far I have counted two online articles and apparently the radio is also talking about my name change so I'll keep you guys updated when I'm on national tv or something
With a little legwork we can make more people on Tumblr see this than the entire population of Iceland.
sorry guys knitting club is cancelled I've been transformed into a terrible beast and I'm going to eat the king.
(tags via @chaotic-uwu )

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you put all these people into one room and they start eating eachother
alligatorgirl crying in a florida-sun blasted publix parking lot ‘cause she dropped her pistachio ice cream cone
you go to comfort her and she grabs you and spins you at 200 rpm as a startle reflex. luckily you were wearing your inline skates (it’s florida after all) so after a few moments of disorientation you turn it into a pirouette
fascinated by the world painted by this post
i have outstanding news… it’s real… it’s all around you…
woag,., the beauty of the world
Will they fall on their feet as they say?

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just had an. unsettling realisation.
so, l33t sp33k. cool 90s goth kid neoscape on the family PC aesthetic. originally, it came about among early hackers as a way to talk about their elite haxx on IRC without tripping up keyword searches. it was a lot easier to fuck things up on the early internet when basically no institutions actually understood how it worked yet, and when you could still pretty reliably just slap a black-box onto a telephone line and intercept anything you wanted, so euphemism was a valid precaution against the growing crackdown against cybercrime, even if it did lead to more and more obtuse wording. using 'elite' as a euphemism for hackers became l33t, became 1337 - eventually it just became a barely-intelligible mess, but the lovable mess we all remember fondly today. getting to the point, this precise process has actually been repeated on the modern, walled-garden corporate internet. where in the early IRC and BBS days, the threat was feds, nowadays it's corporate advertiser-friendliness algorithms. in brief, 'una!ive' is the modern equivalent of '1337 h4xx0rz'