Thanatopsis

What I love about ducks is that they really do quack. It’s not just hype.

Ducks really are all they’re quacked up to be

tbf I think the portrayal of Geoffrey Chaucer was the most historically accurate thing about that movie. He was a mad lad with quite a lot of time he couldn't account for.

We not gonna mention the medieval dinner party breaking out into dancing to the song "Golden Years" by David Bowie?

Well if we sit here and list out every single thing that's buck wild and awesome in A Knight's Tale we're gonna be here for a very long time

I'd even say it's in the same spirit as Chaucer's actual Knight's Tale, which for y'all who don't know is about the chivalrous knights of ancient Greece who go to mass at the cathedral of Zeus.

seen so many posts that are like “I was so confused when I saw all this posting about some non-existent movie “Goncharov” like it was real” I wasn’t. this happens 5 times a week. my dash is routinely filled to the brim with passionate analysis of absurd-sounding movies and tv shows I have never heard of. I never for a second doubted the existence of a russian mafia movie set in italy with massive numbers of bizarrely named characters and no cohesive understanding of the movie’s themes or plot until I saw a post saying to tag it as unreality. this is tumblr. this happens daily. not one thought crossed my mind except “ha, looks like a few of my mutuals have a new hyperfixation.” this is what tumblr has done to me. you could tell me there’s a new tv show about dolphins with french accents living as royalty in victorian england while secretly starting a cult to renew the worship of the greek gods and the shipping discourse is intense and I would simply think “sounds legit” and keep scrolling

they hate me for finding romance in the violent & violence in the romantic. also for the killing

Bein’ a vampire is actually way less sexy when you consider you must now live a life without garlic knots

I’m lactose intolerant but I still eat ice cream. I’m no pussy and neither are vampires

your so smart

Dude that was over 2 1/2 years ago why are you just now responding

Are you mad at me

people are cowards about fantasy settings and not including some things in em. I get the aversion to not wanting too modern of tech, however dwarves would invent and fucking love metal folding chairs

They invented them as a weapon first then later discovered their use as a seating option

I’m stupid and bi and it’s all u need to know about me

I’m 25 and sometimes it still hits me that I can do whatever I want.

please go to the zoo if you want I’m a zoo docent and I love talking to grownups who are visiting the animals and want to know all about them.

You can buy yourself stuff in the gift shop too, if you have the money. Don’t need to ask a grownup or anything. If you want that toy gorilla it’s yours.

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

this is the definition of college.

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

you just go into science and after a while, crocodile…

You… Very clever person.

We did walk into that one.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I KNOW RIGHT?!???

So moral of story is be specific

I was thinking it was stupid that they didn’t specify seawater but then I had the thought that we don’t specify to use chicken eggs in baking because DUH so we just write eggs

2000 years in the future people are going to be making scrambled fish eggs and crying bc the ancient recipes make no sense

Forget eggs what about milk? They’ll look back at us, the ancients, and think we drank human breast milk by the gallon. When asked for evidence they’ll pull out from the deep archives the historical records of anime tiddies proving ancient humans had huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol’ tonhongerekoo—

This is the content that keeps me on this site. 🦄❤️