I'M A MAN IM A TWISTED FOOL

shout out to the little monk in each of my cells that transcribes my DNA by candle light

Do u guys think at the bottom of the ocean there are fish with feet 2 walk on it?

i want hooves

what the fuck is wrong w u btw?????????? hooves?????? fucking hooves??? i can’t stand knowing you

i would be breathtaking

i would finally put you down like the dirty animal you are

i hate wizards

fuck all wizards

nothing bad is going to happen to me over this post because wizards have no power over me

sent that Fool to the Dream Realm

That wasn’t us that just happens sometimes

WHY WOULD YOU OUT ME LIKE THAT

Hey so if I was stuck in the dream realm would you be mad

AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW TO TRAVEL TO THE DREAM REALM I’M GONNA KICK YOUR BONY ASS

I’m crying sksksksk

Gollum’s lowkey adoreable tbh i would like to keep him as a pet❤️

I can fix him [drill sound] [screaming] [chainsaw revving]

the rorschach test is stupid. they just show you a bunch of pictures of pussy and say you’re mentally ill. could’ve done that myself 🙄

yo mr white can i get the chicken nugget happy meal

jesse do you want the littlest pet shop toy or the pokemon toy jesse

Deck prism!

masculinity is literally a form of drag

i feel it important to tell you the caption on this is "POV: dinner date with a Wattpad guy" and the other 2 parts are just as funny