Embrace this universe like a blazing star

"I know the Canvas ransomware attack is terribly inconvenient for many people, and sorry if that means you. I, however, am finding it farcically amusing.

For years and years faculty have been pushed to use Canvas. All courses get a homogenized and flattened interface and everything is presented as an easy consumer experience in a one-stop shop and it doesn’t matter if you object to any of that or don’t want to spend 50 hours dealing with an annoying tech product that doesn’t fit your pedagogy. Even communicating with students has been shunted through Canvas. And if you resist any of this, woe betide you. In fact you can’t print syllabi any more even if you wanted to—unless you pay for your own paper, ink, and printer (which I do).

Now Canvas has been taken down by ransomware, tomorrow is the last day of finals week, and YOU are supposed to scramble and solve this problem, using magic. That includes adjuncts who are not even paid a livable wage and faculty who might have hundreds of students.

This is a failure of a tech platform that was forced on us, and the university administrations nationwide who expect you to move heaven and earth are the same ones who are actively undermining their own institutions’ degrees by leaping into bed with AI companies before they even get their pants all the way off. These administrations (and this includes almost all of them) are not *ignoring* the destruction of education and academic integrity by AI—they are actively participating in it by forcibly inserting AI into student life, university email systems, etc. They are literally giving students software designed for cheating and cognitive dependency for free and applauding its use. And they think you are supposed to materialize a magical solution to this Canvas mess to ensure grades are in? Like between dinner and breakfast you are supposed to recreate everything you had to put in Camvas for an entire semester in some nonexistent other platform?

We just got an email telling us to “communicate directly with your students via email or other available tools for any immediate course needs.” How? Also, we should “Consider alternate methods of submitting assignments digitally or completing assignments in person on Friday” LOL what? So, individual faculty member, grab some No-Doz from the truck stop because in the next 12 hours or so, you must materialize a way for your students to take an online exam! Hope you own a server! Oh also you will have to rewrite the exam because you wrote it in Canvas and you don’t even have the questions anymore! Or just tell the students show up on campus tomorrow for an in-person exam—I hope you brought your personal printer!—and I hope nobody else scheduled anything at the same time, with no coordination! Then sit back and listen to the students tell you they already went home to Wyoming or Guam two days ago.

This is ludicrous. It is a problem created by overpaid administrators who have never had an idea that wasn’t sold to them by a software company and who now expect you to abracadabra a solution even as they are pushing chatbot accounts onto the same students so they can learn as little as possible through the degree.

If they’re not suggesting something, believing it’s a one size fits all solution (bed hair washing set ups, shampoo caps) their solution is to just… get rid of a part of our identity to suddenly “make it easier”. Long hair isn’t the issue when every movement and sensory input is punishing. Making it easier isn’t always the point. Sometimes the point is just sharing “this is what I go through because of my disability, something you might not think of if you’re not disabled/don’t have my disability”. It’s no different than any other person showing a day in their life or how they care for their hair. It’s just not conventional for you to see people still struggle with all the added help.

I wanted to also say that even if it is more work, you’re allowed to want to keep that effort as long as possible. You’re allowed to want to be “extra” in your care. You’re allowed to want to feel dolled up and pretty. You don’t have to give in to people telling you to either thin or cut your hair if YOU don’t want to. You are allowed to have it as you are, even if you have rapunzel length hair and it technically “WOULD” be easier, you’re not wrong for wanting to keep that part of yourself.

You have something wrong with you. No, not something we can do anything about. You're just Wrong. Not wrong enough that you can't work, but too wrong to be able to help you.

You don't need medication to mitigate your suffering. You're the only cause of your suffering. The fact that you can look me in the eyes long enough to tell me what's wrong means you're not autistic (a real problem with real consequences, unlike yours). You're not looking at me. This means you are avoidant. This means you just need to stop avoiding things. It's all in your head. But a psychiatrist can't help you.

You just told me a side effect of your new medication. However, I am unfamiliar with all but the most common of side effects, and it's not one of them. You must be lying to me about how you feel when you take it.

There's no point in trying to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

You keep asking for disability benefits because you've been unable to work for over a decade. It's too early to give you that. What if you stop trying to get better as soon as you're not in constant economic stress? A diagnosis would just confirm to you that you can't do it.

to help someone who doesn’t

want to help themselves.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.