Rooted

Root chews, bites, and claws her legs which at times draws blood. She also pulls out her fur and lets injuries go untreated (her own) longer than they should.

Root thinks about harming herself and others.

Root only eats with others and cannot bring herself to eat alone, but also starts to struggle with eating meat in general. This leads to weight loss.

Root purposely puts herself and others into risky situations.

At times, she has outbursts where she screams and sometimes lashes out physically.

She deals with distressing, intrusive thoughts about others and herself.

Mothgrowl...wasn't really sure what to do. She wasn't the best at comforting, and she'd never really been good with kits either. What was she supposed to do here?? She exhaled through her nose as she stopped for the third time to let Blizzardpaw catch up with her, scanning the undergrowth for even a speck of the familiar bright green. The camp garden was helpful, but moss was one of the things they'd never figured out how to grow, yet needed an abundant supply of, and Ghoststar had insisted Blizzardpaw accompany her on today's patrol. She liked Ghoststar, she thought he was a good leader and she trusted his judgement, but...how did he expect sending the poor traumatized apprentice with her to help him at all?

When Blizzardpaw finally padded up beside her, she caught it. An almost curious, hopeful look to her that he quickly smothered when their eyes met, his gaze locked on the grass at his feet. He wasn't very good at hiding things, she'd noticed. He kept going, expecting her to follow, but she sat down where she was with a soft sigh, tail curling around her paws. "Blizzardpaw."

Tunnel-dammit, she was trying to be gentle, but he still jumped nearly a foot in the air and whipped around, ever-fluffed fur standing even more on end. "Y-yy-yeah??"

"Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"

Blizzardpaw was quiet, staring for the longest time. Then he glanced around as if scanning for threats, paws shuffling in the dirt and tail tucked firmly between his legs. "N-no, I'm ffine, I-I-"

"I know that's not true. I'll ask again, is there something on your mind?"

As patient as she tried to be, she couldn't keep her tail tip from twitching when Blizzardpaw was silent again, shivering softly. She could see several different questions and emotions swirling through his eyes all at once, but his mouth couldn't seem to form any of the words, until he took a shaky breath and looked into the forest.

"...You...you talk with Starclan...r-right...?"

...Mothgrowl grit her teeth. Starclan had been quiet. Even in her brief excursions into the Tunnels, she had barely been able to have a conversation with any spirits before the whispers drowned them out. She could barely even feel their presence on the territory anymore.

"...Yes. Why?"

She held her breath to stifle a frustrated growl when Blizzardpaw went silent again. She knew he was hurting, she knew his mind carried wounds that needed healing. But she didn't know how. She knew how to heal any physical scrapes and sicknesses he carried, but she didn't know what herbs would heal the shadows that haunted his eyes, that made him jump at the slightest noise, that sent him into a panic and ended with him confined to his den until he was able to calm down. She didn't know how to help him. She didn't know what to do.

Blizzardpaw finally whined softly, gaze never leaving the trees. "...Do you......do you think h-he...he..."

Mothgrowl's heart sunk. Of course it was Thistlepaw. Something she didn't have answers for, even with the knowledge granted by the Tunnels. But she had to say something. So she stood up, padding to Blizzardpaw's side and resting her tail over his back.

"...I'm not sure. I haven't seen him. But that doesn't mean he can't be there." she mumbled, pressing into his side as he shuddered. "Starclan can be...fickle sometimes. Maybe he hasn't reached us yet, or he's busy. They have work to do up there, too."

Blizzardpaw didn't look at her. She gently rasped her tongue over his forehead. "But I know wherever he is, he wants you to keep going. He cared about you, even if...he wasn't the best at showing it. What do you think he'd say if he saw you like this?"

"...That I'm a mousebrain a-and I...need to stop acting like a newborn."

Mothgrowl tried and failed to stifle a chuckle. "What he means by that is that he wants you to be brave for him, he wants you to keep going forward instead of staying stuck in your fear. Do you think he's right?"

...Blizzardpaw didn't respond. The warmth building in Mothgrowl's heart fizzled out when he looked just as troubled as before, despite her attempts to reassure him. "...Blizzardpaw, is there something else you-"

"N-no, sorry." he hissed, quickly walking away from her and further along the path. Mothgrowl stared for a moment, fur bristling. Of course it didn't work. Of course he just shut down again, of course she wasn't good enough. His illness was getting worse and she...

She looked to the sky, ears pinned back. She couldn't see any stars in the evening sky, just the orange light of the sunset.

She hoped she would see the stars at night this time.