One-thousand-year-old Condescending Brat

If you want a woman to have fat titties and a fat ass but can't handle the accompanying fat tummy, arms, and legs, then you are a coward and your bloodline will not survive the winter.

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

next time you’re at the thrift store and find a nice solid thick pile area rug for a shockingly good price and you’ve been looking for an area rug for the office forever and the color goes really nicely with the office color scheme and you think this is it, this is what i’ve been waiting for, stop, and ask yourself: did i take the bus here?

next time you’re on the bus and see someone with an area rug and a look of deep disappointment in themself mind your own business

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

trans women make this place better

not just the website but da world!

Sourcing the photos as taken by Mark Ham on Instagram, according to one of the replies.

Happy Pride month to the moon

yes

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

Please take your vitamin D

HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.