...in this gosh darn world

even masturbation is dull now like omg whatever i GUESS i’ll do this…there’s not much else to do

jellyfish have to be kept in a round tank because if they're in a tank with corners they'll get stuck in them. I think that's beautiful. god's stupidest little plastic bags (affectionate)

Also when being bred in captivity(this is done at my work and my job is to teach people about it) to get them to reproduce from the polyp stage of life, we have to intentionally cause them enough stress to reproduce but not enough to harm them. Lately we’ve done that by cleaning their habitat extra well, makes them think the word is ending

Presumably this is the same way God does it

your strengths are harder to see than your weaknesses because the problems you're good at solving don't appear as problems, because you're so good at handling them before they become problems... unlike the relatively rare problem that becomes a crisis, which demands undue attention. it's sort of like a reverse survivorship bias. the problems that become noticed as problems, the moments where you notice your capacity has a gap, are only the ones that aren't cut off at the pass by your strength and capability, before they become problems. so if all you focus on is problems then all you'll see is your weaknesses. which isn't accurate

I think we should figure out what age we’re living in now so we can say how it’s collapsing to each other

Our age of plastics is collapsing

Nobody knows I’m writing fanfiction on the clock

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it

hey, I was just at the Kroger, I think I just saw your living weapon look both ways sheepishly before scanning her dehumanizing barcode tattoo to see what would happen. it rang up as a Mountain Dew voltage. so like, is that intentional or

Reminder that Kroger and their "family" of subsidiary companies (Dillons, King Soopers, Safeway, Harris Teeter, Gerbes, JayC, etc) are a monopoly that has been driving independent grocery stores out of business and artificially inflating food prices since the 1950s.

i'll tell my friends to take their brainwashed living weapons and homunculi elsewhere then

"for my own sanity, i'm going to stop thinking about this!" ← person who's going to think about it all the time forever

putting carbonated water in my super soaker and spraying it at dogs (they absorb the bubbling nature of the liquid and begin to ascend into the sky) (thousands watch in awe) (no one does anything) (the sight is, in essence, divine)

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.

*holds up hand* does your blood still count as virgin when you've been hit with a curse?

they call me the text ignorer for reasons I'll probably explain to you in a few days or so

the unimaginable power of saying "huh, guess that's not for me" and moving on with your life

i dont fucking know why this keeps popping up on social media lately but just for the record the expectation that i should cross the street to avoid making strange women uncomfortable because i look masculine is uhhhh not feminist

the fact that i am a woman is not what makes it not feminist btw