I Am A Magpie

I don’t think I output art frequently enough, appeal to a sufficiently popular niche, or make artwork at a high enough skill level to really generate the following + money / algorithmic harmony necessary to flourish otherwise

But with NSFW, work you can get away with smaller followings, niches, upload schedules, etc. by appealing to sexual desire, which has a higher and more powerful relationship with demand/income leverage. This is good, nsfw art is imo more valuable than sfw art for a reason and deserves to pay more.

Not to mention- I’m an adhd hypersexual and decently good at posing figures. It’s not like I wouldn’t like it or anything!

I also don’t mean to imply that nsfw work is less effort or work. The struggles are just different. The primary struggle being that the hegemony of puritanical internet advertiser preferences constantly victimize anyone who makes anything that a repressed conservative might cum their pants over lol

…I also think I wouldn’t use my online persona as Magpie to execute it, given how closely magpie is tied to my face- friends and family are aware of it, employers potentially, my first name and even last name some times.

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to make nsfw stuff but I have basically no following anymore (aside from folks who became friends) as magpie so starting a new sona to make adult art with would be a) socially convenient for me, and b) no real loss of advantage.

Not completely made up my mind yet but I think it could work. Long as I don’t find the actual making of the art too distracting :P lol

If I did make that switch, and it did work out, there’s a possibility that the stimulation feedback loop might leave me with more adhd juice to push my sfw content out again. Stream, make videos, do Industry work again, etc. but idk

Might just keep the magpie stuff around for shouting at the void and posting hobby art

“Currently experiencing catatonic executive dysfunction the likes of which USED to make me want to permanently check out with active and immediate intent, but NOW (because I have been in therapy for 2.5 years and am a trooper) I just suffer a lot with the faint belief I can change at some point surely not right now tho I’m far too terrible to change right now—”

-slow

But it IS going, I don’t want to harm myself.

..I just feel incredibly powerless to remove these blockages. Months keep going by without me being less of a wuss and it’s starting to frighten me instead of just clinically bum me out lol

But that is better than giving up.