shea

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

mankind creating q-tips and then saying we shouldn’t put them in our ears is like god putting the male g-spot up the ass and then saying gay sex is a sin

ugh, okay. Unfollowing. I was a fan of him and his friends solving mysteries together but I didn’t know he thought Coolsville sucks.

i love abortion and i love divorce

i pop some pills and i ride my horse

i log onto tumblr and i start discourse

eyyyy macarena

this has the strongest 2014 tumblr vibe i’ve seen in a while, can’t believe this post is 5 days old

THIS POST IS FIVE DAYS OLD???? I THOUGHT IT WAS AT LEAST 2 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!

happy 9 day anniversary to this post 💖

date of origin: April 18, 2021

you ever catch a glimpse of a cloud passing in front of a full moon and you’re suddenly a highwayman in an 18th century ghost story who just left a tavern on a chilly october night to ride horseback through the woods till you reach the next town over

One of my favorite things about history is how little bits of it are preserved through traditions and mythology and we don’t even notice it. Like how we still say “’Tis the season” at Christmastime. Who says ‘tis anymore? No one, it’s dead except in this tiny phrase. I had a friend once tell me that she noticed the only group of people who could consistently identify a spinning wheel were girls between the ages of 4 and 7. Why? Sleeping Beauty. There are little linguistic quirks that have been around for centuries, bits of slang we use that people 400 years ago would recognize, but unless you showed someone a 400 year old dictionary, they’d never believe it. Whispers of the past are always there.

i think i deserve a dagger, as a treat. for being kind to people and not screaming and going insane in public :)

ppl in big cities be like "south side" "east end" "upper west side" "north beach" "southwest corner" "left area" "diagonal land"

in small towns we dont need all this specifity nonsense when giving directions. its either by the walmart or its on the opposite side from the walmart

printers are inherently malicious creatures. i have never met a printer that does not on some level want to make everyone’s lives miserable. they are full of ink and malice

there’s this ~thing now where the leftosphere takes how much a person enjoys certain sex acts as a benchmark for how feminist they are and like. hmm. no. bad. a cis man can dislike pegging and cunnilingus and also love & respect his girlfriend as an equal. a cis woman can be uncomfortable with being sexually dominant and prefer PIV over oral without being a tradwife doormat. trans people can be comfortable or uncomfortable with their junk or both situationally and it doesn’t mean they’re more or less trans. switching or being verse isn’t inherently more liberated than being an obligate top/bottom/dom/sub. being kinky doesn’t automatically make someone a feminist or a misogynist and neither does being totally vanilla. same with being poly or mono, having lots of sex partners or a few or one or none, being very sexually active or occasionally so or totally celibate. sex isn’t activism and erotic enjoyment isn’t praxis. stop that.

he-man was right. whats going on

the only difference between me and a medieval peasant is that I can make a Spotify playlist to express my feelings

IDC IF SCOOBY DOO (2002) HAS 30% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES IT WILL ALWAYS HAVE 100% IN MY HEART