Blacklilly

11 pm thought: unfortunately the sad but logical reality is that he is straight and just kind of a weird freak and also a misogynist but it's still beautiful how romantic his obsession with his best friend is and how its psychosexual nature haunts all his creative work

❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

Grandma: Oh, it was for Star Trek. Just little stories about Kirk and Spock, you know?

Me:

As a lot of people aren’t familiar with plot creatures, I thought I’d shed some light on the members of the mental menagerie…

The Plot Bunny - Story ideas that come bounding in and start multiplying.

The Plot Chicken - They squawk, flap around, and shit everywhere, but when you actually need to do something with them, they scatter.

The Plot Sloth - Takes its sweet goddamned time turning into something useful.

The Plot Mule - When you mash two plots together and get something cool, but you can’t get a sequel out of it to save your life.

The Plot Cat - Lazy little bastards who take up your headspace, scare away all the other plot bunnies, but won’t actually do anything except lay there.

The Plottweiler - Barks loudly and viciously so you can’t ignore it, distracts you from everything else you want to write, but leaves you too paralyzed with fear to actually put words down.

The Plot Squirrel - Cute, distracting, full of nuts, and just TRY to keep up with that train of thought.

The Plot Bedbug - Shows up during the night, chews on you so you can’t sleep, and disappears in the daylight.

The Plot Tick - Burrows in, bleeds you dry, and leaves you with the creepy-crawlies. Mostly preys on horror writers.

The Plotroach - Totally unappealing, but so tenacious they’ll survive anything until you finally give up and write them.

The Plotranha - Like the Plot Shark, but lots of smaller and more nibbly bites, often until there’s nothing left but a skeleton.

The Plotegrine Falcon - One of those ideas that looks great but, unless you’re very quick, will be gone before you know it’s there.

The Plot House-Mouse - related to the Plot Bedbug, it’s the idea that goes “skrit-skrit” late at night and keeps you from sleeping, partly because you know you can’t do anything about it until morning - by which time it’s gone all quiet. Attempts to trap it leaves a remnant that’s a lot less annoying but also a lot less attractive, and is usually just thrown away.

The Plot Swan (a) - That beautifully phrased sentence or paragraph where everything is just right and seems effortless, and only you know how much energy you’ve expended to get it that way.

The Plot Fossil: it died young, but this fragment is so lovely you can’t stand to recycle it into something else.

Plot Crow: constantly cawing and hassling you, and stealing bits of your brain and sanity. 

Plot Dragon: It’s huge, it’s beautiful, it’s completely terrifying, it’s well beyond your ability to tame or control, it hoards all your shiniest ideas and it has your entire mental landscape on fire.