Definitely Not The Product of a 12am Writing Idea

This project is too cool! See more at Vice: https://www.vice.com/en/article/ak3z9p/roman-manfredi-butch-photos

The BiVocal' Bi-story, by Robyn Ochs and Marcia Deihl (The BiVocal's Song)

Bisexuals of all gender identities, trans bisexuals, nonbinary bisexuals, bisexuals with neo-pronouns and bisexuals whose gender is greatly influenced by their bisexuality

Bisexuals with nonbinary partners of all stripes, girlfriends, boyfriends, multiple partners, partners that defy categorization, or no partners at all

Indigenous bisexuals of Turtle Island, black bisexuals, and all bisexuals who face racism in addition to oppression for their bisexuality

Disabled bisexuals, bisexuals with chronic illnesses, bisexuals who still mask, bisexuals with mental health conditions, bisexuals with visible or invisible disabilities

Bisexuals who live in countries where who they are is a crime, bisexuals who have to stay closeted for their own safety, bisexuals who have been cast out by their families of origin

The issue with talking about the newest bi discourse of the day or whatever is that oftentimes, the behavior of one bad actor is getting generalized to an entire group of people, so when you try to say “hey, this sentiment is biphobic” you’re met with “so you SUPPORT [queer lolcow of the day]??? You think EVERYTHING THEY EVER SAID is GOOD ACTUALLY??? You HATE gay people???” And like. No. You’re just being an asshole.

For example, the current issue with the lady who went on the rant about how she never tries to date women because they’re too scary to talk to and doesn’t date masc lesbians because “if she wanted a guy, she’d go for the real thing”. That’s just blatantly lesbophobic! And transphobic! We can all agree on that! Gross! Don’t do that!

BUT

Where we run into a problem is when we extrapolate that thinking and behavior onto ALL bisexual sapphics, which is predictably where the discourse has ended up. Even creators who I *usually* agree with have said things in response like “sorry to the bisexuals, your PR team is really giving you a bad look, but I know the ones who follow me aren’t like that”.

Like. Oh wonderful. I’ve always wanted to be one of the good ones. That isn’t demeaning at all. Yay.

It’s never JUST about the one person, it always gets pushed out to justify sweeping biphobia, and we as bi people can’t push back on generalizations against our entire community without being told that we’re defending a bad actor. It’s exhausting, bad faith, and part of the reason I try to stay as FAR away from discourse posting on here as possible.

So I’ve been seeing a lot of posts (particularly on TikTok, a horrible place no one should visit) that amount to “bi women who can’t see themselves marrying a woman aren’t really bisexual.” The implication being, of course, that those bi women are straight. Even seeing some fellow bisexuals saying it.

It’s absolutely wild to me that other queer people cannot understand that internalized homophobia is one hell of a drug. I used to be unable to picture my future with a woman, and now I’m with a woman who I want to be with forever.

And the things that helped me get to that place weren’t judgement or dismissal. It was my real-life community and their support of me figuring myself out. It was seeing my lesbian, bi and queer friends date women and feeling a sense of longing. It was seeing more sapphic couples in the media and suddenly having an example of what my life could be that I’d never had before.

I don't think any of them should feel comfortable or safe contributing to conversations about biphobia when a good majority of radfems, regardless of whether they were bi themselves, have been ignoring and downplaying biphobia and s-xual harassment. It's literally a cesspit of bimisogynistic femcel sex pests on Twitter. Not a single radfem on there can have a convo with a bi woman about biphobia without attempting to s-xually degrade or verbally abuse them.