BitterKitty

how come people make those memes about various alcohols like soju but no one makes them for baileys do i just drink middle age person drinks

cause you're... not supposed'a... drink bailey's straight... :o

JEB!

My new favorite hobby is weaponizing my Mom Friend status against my male coworkers, of which there are a surplus because I am A Woman in The Trades. It's hilarious to me. I have been the Mom Friend my entire life and working construction means I've expanded my territory from Mom Friend to Site Mom by virtue of always knowing where things are and also having pain meds and general life advice if you need any. Do you know what happens when you are so aggressively mom-shaped despite not even being 30? All the young guys I work with have subconsciously put me in the mom category of their brains. Do you know what that means? I live and work in the American South. These guys have been raised both socially and culturally to Respect All Mom Figures and I've snuck myself into that classification like a cuckoo in the nest. Like, listen, I can take it and dish it out with the best of them and I'm "one of the guys" 97% of the time, but I have my limits. If they're being dicks to each other and I'm tired of it all I gotta do is look really disapproving and scold them with some classic Mom-isms and it will stop them dead in their tracks. It's a total short circuit of their brains. Not one of these guys has withstood my telling them "manners are free and it costs nothing to be kind." Sometimes I just give them a look and say "Really?" in that tone of voice all moms use when they're completely fed up with you and it makes them straighten up in 10 seconds flat, guaranteed. It's psychological warfare of the highest order. One time I jokingly pulled out a "I'm so disappointed in you" after hearing this barely 18 year old tell some story about being obnoxious in an online game voice chat and it was very obviously a joke but somehow it rattled him so much AT WORK that he later told me he stopped doing it. It's a perfect storm of factors and literally all of them are in my favor. Should I care more about not enforcing gender stereotypes, especially in such a male-dominated field? Probably, but let's be real, the power has completely gone to my head.

I had to stop smoking sativa because whenever I smoked sativa at parties I would turn into an absolute menace and start bullying men specifically for no reason. I turned into public enemy number one of college boys

Ok so I flip butterfly knives as a hobby. I have a practice knife that is completely blunt. Anyways, I smoked too much sativa at a party once and started flipping my practice knife (which I do as a stim when I’m high). This frat boy asked me if I had an edible I could give him. I held my knife to his throat and told him to beg. I didn’t even have an edible to give him. Another time a guy told me to smile and I told him to say something funny. He stuttered uselessly for a while and when I he didn’t produce anything funny I told him he was a failure. Another time this guy barked at me (I am visibly goth and on this night was in full tradgoth mode) and I went up to him, completely serious, told him to sit, then lay down, then roll over. When he didn’t do any of those things, I said he was a terrible fucking dog, and told him he should get put down. Anyhow, that’s why I don’t do sativa anymore.

I think you should only smoke sativa and smoke way more of it

classic dimitri

getting middle surgery (thing that goes squeak when u hug me)