"professional" does not touch the blog

Okay I finished it.

Why'd the spacing change?

"I see your pointing out the surface level things, is this because her writing is functional or good?"

Also the background color did you switch or reformat it afterwards to see a more realistic page count?

"Yes but how is the actual writing Silly?"

IT ISN'T VERY GOOD OKAY!

Allow me to be perfectly transparent. Exposition isn't always a bad thing. There are things that need it. Scene setting for a series with many proper nouns for instance, you can make an operatic intro and explain the gist, i have never been against a star wars text crawl.

But not only is the concept of "partners" just not that complex to get across where it couldn't be just shown in a different interaction. With a singular third person.

Or just make the lingo really hyper specifc, its the far flung future after all maybe have Partner no longer be a singular word instead its always hyphened

"Oh so who are you with where are they?"

"My partner-sister they are back on the ship"

^thats not good writing thats an example entirely for functionality to get my point across

Now I'm just imagining PHM with how Rocky talks lol

The fact she feels she needs to get it out of the way so fast is putting the entire trailer before the horse.

The fact that she made a character obsessed with the prehistory of her setting as a way to basically explain how things currently are that could actually be quite clever. Maybe have her use old lingo or old sayings (modern sayings even) and everyone just looks at her like shes a fuckin space cadet (derogatory)

Just show them doing whatever talking about whatever establishing skills they might have important plot beats like idk how her setting works but presumably since its a road trip that they need to plot their astro-journey very carefully so one can be obsessing about how their ship is a beater or maybe start off at a space truck stop

I have an issue with that sure. Like what a seent in that post wasn't to alarm ringing on its own 2 fully grown siblings talking isn't the death knell I find the dancing around more bizarre

Oh idfk how I'd save RWBY I would have to actually like watch it learn what info needed to be conveyed, remembering an Hbomberguy vid isn't a good set up

I actually tend to agree with the titles implication.

I don't like that i can romance everyone as anything in games like BG3, like I enjoy when fictional characters are written with preferences if it is to come up.

I think it woulda been more interesting for a character to be able to get what amounts as the bestest friends ending instead of a romance if they weren't the preference for romance, it would be impacting and say something about how instead of romantic love blooming in a crisis a lasting unshakeable brotherhood/sisterhood/friendhood blooms.

It's so weird. The entire story of Into the Void could have gone without that exchange

It would strengthen the point that all partnerships in this society are equal if the siblings were never mistaken for spouses, but I guess that wouldn't let CD wag her finger at these misunderstandings

Its just comically explanatory

Its better than explaining that with omniscient narration but only a step up from a...

Have you ever... seen RWBY? No?

Have you ever seen the Hbomberguy video about RWBY... WELL IN IT!

In it he shows an example of dialogue between 2 Faunes (idfk how to spell it) where one explains to the other that they are infact an opressed people

A

P

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P

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Okay so.

There's nothing functionally wrong with this.

But like. Has CD ever talked, I don't mean text through discord or ask her audience.

Has CD ever like, spoken to another human being in real life... kinda wanna just leave it like that... that had a healthy and functional family life?

Also the way, this reads, it seems like every human just became aromantic, which is fine. Actually NO waitwaitwait I know exactly what this reads:

Fena: Pirate Princess, Black Lagoon, Jojo's part 3, Hunter x Hunter eh... kinda, Michiko & Hatchin, Jojos Part 8, Trigun Stampede, Space Dandy, Coyote Ragtime, Cannon Busters, Desert Punk, Cowboys Bebop, Castlevania (a little), Last Exil, Eureka Seven

Not really irony

Not really sure what that is