bisexual_and_insane

Someone will say "as a queer person in the heart of empire, my life is in danger every day" and you'll find out they're a developer for Amazon and live in San Francisco or Seattle or some shit, and then you'll meet a trans girl from Alva, OK who's like "Yeah, things are pretty good. AutoZone moved me to full-time."

Someone in a queer group in my current blue city said that they didn't like expressions of solidarity because it "diluted their oppression".

if you’re asking AI for relationship advice, you’ve already lost. lost what? the argument, your sanity, the relationship, the house in the divorce. loser behavior.

asking AI for advice on anything is already so stupid but asking a computer for advice on human relationships is another low

Reblog if you are Bad Queer Representation.

(walking down a street and not stepping in any needles, glass, rotten food, loose bags or bottles of piss) this whole damn place has gone to shit

DONT use glasses, youll become dependent on them to see!!!! #WARONDRUGS #OVERPRESCRIPTION #CORRECTIVELENSADDICTION

I know this is a humorous exaggeration designed to show how silly it is to deny medication and mobility/quality of life aids to disabled people by applying the argument to something silly in a way that nobody would ever do but... unfortunately I have heard people say this. I've heard people suggest that people with minor sight problems shouldn't get glasses, and people needing to move to a stronger prescription should do it and should stay on as light a prescription as they can use and still function, because the glasses will "weaken their eyes" and make their eyesight worse (which is bullshit). People will pull this ableist bullshit on glasses wearers, too.

unfortunately no matter how much you try to parody ableism, some completely genuine asshole out there already has you beat.

#'you wouldnt say this about wheelchairs!' yes they would.#'you wouldnt do this with a missing limb!' i promise they do#'but what about-' look just assume no matter how stupid it is that people are dicks about it

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

are you going to tell her or

her masters degree is in biology

Tuna melt au where Shane starts freaking out and so to distract him Ilya is like "I got the marble imported from Turkey, custom cut by a local contractor here in Boston" and Shane wants to have a freak out but he's always wondered about the quality of marble from Turkey, he got his counters from Italy and China but he saw options from Turkey and Brazil and wondered. He really should go, but now he's wondering if Ilya will answer his other questions like who was the architect that built this house and where did ilya find that tile that's in his guest bathroom. Basically Ilya using Shane's real estate fetish to keep him from running out during the tuna meltdown.

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

another incredibly tragic thing shane just drops casually happens when he and ilya do a house tour for gq or some shit. the interviewer asks something like “whats the biggest change in your living space since coming out and moving in together” and shane goes “honestly just being able to comfortably live with each other. for a long time we were erasing every tiny detail of ourselves so we wouldnt be caught. but now we can have our wedding pictures on the mantel :)” and everyone dies

no but seriously "gimme kiss" plus those big fat pursed lips is one of the sweetest parts of the whole show because their relationship has been characterised by lust from the beginning, it's what they started with and it's what they padded their feelings in before they were ready to let those feelings stand on their own, but in this moment there's not even a hint of lust, there's no ulterior motive to seduce, ilya just wants a moment of connection with shane — physically and emotionally — and he knows now that he doesn't have to do anything to get it. he can be relaxed and silly and he can just ask to receive it. gimme kiss! said in the most mischievous manner ever. and shane gives him kiss!!!!!!!!

has anyone talked about hollanov doing that dirty polaroid thing delivered by a best friend….. perhaps shane gets convinced by rose thats its a great idea and then throughout the night of like their anniversary party or something rose and sveta secretly deliver dirtier and dirtier polariods to ilya and he’s like unable to function all night and ends up tricking shane into meeting him alone outside and they frott against a tree in the woods with shane’s big big hand holding their dicks together and ilya’s thumb in shane’s mouth while he’s talking about what a dirty slut shane is for him ……

How badly do you think Ilya was freaking out in the showers? He's just fully jerked it at the other rising star rookie and now this guy might fucking tell the whole league and fuck fuck fuck. He's cursing himself, thinking about how he's gonna get out ahead of this, Hollander got hard first sounds defensive and implies Ilya got hard second. He's walking out of that shower thinking about how he hasn't even made it to Boston and thinking with his dick has already fucked shit up and then there's Hollander who drops his shoe and is so obviously waiting for Ilya. That little chuckle that Ilya does is a little bit at Shane fumbling his shoe and a lot a bit relief. Ilya's career isn't over. He should never have doubted himself for a moment. Of fucking course Hollander wants him, he's so obvious. So of course he asks for his room number with all the confidence of a 19 year old who can get it.

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

that's the beta testing stage