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@bingeingallnight
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toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like βbud!! you played so good!!β and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where heβs going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.
Heβs had a rough dayβ¦
shane: momβ¦can you take three steps back please?
also shane at 4am in the morning:
Robstar week, Day 4: Reunion
No more goodbyes
Robstar week DAY 1
Playing Breath of the Wild. Robin is meβ¦β¦ Starfire is also me.

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Headcanon: Thereβs one language that Starfire wasnt able to get from Robin and she found out the day they went to visit a childrenβs hospital. At first, Starfire didnβt understand why this one kid was giving her weird hand gestures when Robin told her it was sign language and he was able to communicate with the deaf kid. And so for the first time it was Robin who was teaching a new language to Starfire everyday.Β
I love two (2) idiots
okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter
I think it would be fun if both of them found out in real time that Shane does not like getting slapped in the face. He loves rough sex, getting spanked, he loves when Ilya digs his fingers into bruisies, into reddened skin. It sends zips up his spine, makes him arch even more into Ilya's hands etc. So during they situasionship era they try face slapping because hey it is practically given that they will both love it. But instead of happy, floaty tears, actual tears spring up into Shane's eyes and he is so shocked by how much he didn't like it he voices it immedietely and his voice wobbles even (which makes him feel humiliated Also in a bad way) and Ilya is literally mid thrust, dick so hard there is bo blood anywhere else in his body so Shane's little "i didn't like that" breathy, wobbly and vurnerable makes his short circuit and it basically hard wires him in that moment to always do what Shane wants when Real Tears TM show up in his eyes. They make love after, Shane apologizing for not liking something they tried, Ilya apologizing for trying it in the first place. They are a mess. But brains get rewired that night.
Later when they are married Shane gets angry at Ilya for being easily "manipulated" by Shane's teary eyes when they argue and sometimes Shane would just turn his back on Ilya to continue arguing that way so Ilya wouldn't see. "Sweetheart it does not matter if i can't see, i know when you turn around!" And Shane tells him to shut the fuck up.
I love face slapping but ohhhhh this is so good!! Hollanov playing around with emotional hand grenades by doing such intense sexual experimenting during a point in their relationship when they are still "casual" and not communicating about their feelings at all, and then being shocked when one of them actually goes off and it blows up in both their faces.
Also cryingg at Shane suddenly turning his back on Ilya mid-argument (probably mid-sentence lbr) because he can feel the tears coming. I feel like this would knock the wind out of Ilya's sails even faster because now on top of his husband crying, he's also trying to hide it from Ilya ππ
To go along with my whole take that the north star of Hollanov dynamics is that they find each other funny, some of my favorite Hollanov humorous sex moments from TLG, where they're able to have that kind of sex:
That last one in the trophy room is important because its a great contrast to after Vegas---they do a bit of a scene and instead of both feeling like shit afterwards they're laughing and joking around.

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Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)
But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.
And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.
And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"
I fully believe that Shane and Ilya cannot agree on an anniversary. Shane says it was the All Stars weekend because that's when he thought they were both 100% serious about the relationship because that's when he was, Ilya says it was the cottage when they said "I love you'' because he didn't believe in it until that moment. They find this out the first year with Shane's anniversary date when Shane plans an elaborate secret date the last night of All Stars and gets Ilya gifts, and Ilya has no idea what its for. They agree to disagree on the date, "We will just celebrate twice a year, I guess." It happens again with their wedding anniversary, Shane says its when they legally got married, Ilya says it was when the twins married them because he doesnt care about about being officially married in the eyes of Canadian law he cares about the first time they said "I do". They find this out when a reporter asks them about their wedding and when they had it and they both gave different answers. Once again they agree to just celebrate twice a year. They say it is because the date doesn't really matter and both of them are right in some way, but in reality it is so they can compete on who plans the more romantic, thoughtful, and elaborate anniversary date. And so that they don't fight about who's planning the date this year or making conflicting plans by accident.
Idiots in love
Sometimes when Ilya is having a not so great day he sends Shane a dick pic because he knows it will give him a boost of serotonin to see those three dots bounce for an obnoxious amount of time only to get some fuckass response like "Ok" or "You can't send me that without warning" and then Ilya will say "You like?" and Shane will say "Yeah." WITHOUT FAIL. It's their little fucked up version of a kiss on the cheek.
I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league inΒ total pointsΒ at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
and every time, they sit in their seats like

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When Shane joins the centaurs, Ilya arranges it that he gets the locker next to his. He's not passing up the chance to flirt with his half-dressed husband before and after games. Being captain comes with perks.
"You're lucky to get this locker," he tells Shane before their first practice. "Everyone in this room is always fighting to get it."
"Why, because it's the one next to yours?" says Shane, tugging a curl at the back of Ilya's head just hard enough to pull his head back playfully.
"Well, yes," laughs Ilya. "But this is also the magic locker."
Shane has that look on his face that Ilya knows means he's not sure if he wants to laugh or roll his eyes.
"The magic locker?" he says with a skeptical eyebrow and a fond smile. "I'm scared to ask what that means."
"You'll see. Is very mysterious. Science cannot explain it. You will soon see its power for yourself."
And Shane's laughing now.
"How about you get dressed so that you're not late for practice, Cap? The only power I want to see right now is your ass on the ice."
And Ilya has this stupid grin the whole way through practice that only gets wider when Shane gets back to his locker to find his favourite post-practice protein bar and an ice-cold can of ginger ale. There's a small post-it stuck to the protein bar that says "Welcome to the team, Hollander. Love, the magic locker elves. xx" It's unmistakably Ilya's handwriting.
"See?" says Ilya, delighted at how much Shane is smiling. "Mysterious."
"Super mysterious," he says, pressing a small kiss to Ilya's cheek. "Tell the elves I say thank you."
And every practice or game after that, there's always something small waiting in the locker for Shane. Because his locker is magic.
This is really funny on dark mode
On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.