gay and grumpy

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[pokes you with a stick] love me

(visibly shaken) i’m so good at pretending im okay (everyone around can see it’s evident i am in extreme emotional distress and rapidly declining) im doing so good guys

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

TL;DR - No matter how skilled a swimmer you may be, hubris is not a flotation device.

i heavily fw a bowl of fruit

I am the naked window neighbor and I won’t apologize

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.