Soft spoken, softer lips

Hello This Is The Office Of The Specialist You Were Referred To. We Have Decided To Never Call You To Schedule An Appointment Because You Are Evil And We Do Not Accept Evil Patients

his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it

And to tear down the feeble corpse of God! Every kid and adult wants that also!

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the make up industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. im doing none of that in fact

I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety

love when fictional men are so devoted to their partner it makes them dangerous and insane. very slutty behavior keep it up king

why are men so self conscious about their height when there are so many more important flaws to be self conscious about like the lack of emotional intelligence

that lil bald bitch is doin it!!!!!

sorry that you think my fictional ship is illegal. I actually consulted a fictional lawyer about it and he had a talk with a fictional cop about the fictional laws and then they both looked at me, and very seriously said "we'll allow it because it's hot."

This is better than any snl sketch

“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

we need better sex ed because I know a girl who thought that the female orgasm always involved squirting so she fakes by peeing on guys and this needs to stop

Let her continue

LMFAO

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

Whereas lycanthropy poses the question “what if there was a wild destructive urge buried inside you to shed all cares and social bonds and pretensions of civilisation in one fell swoop, to tear your whole stultifying life apart around yourself in a glorious bout of transformation, and then you woke up and had to deal with the consequences of that, both to yourself and to everyone around you?” and yeah, as a person with no issues whatsoever, naturally cannot relate there either. Heh.