HIATUS

In this thread, I will use quotes from Jhumpa Lahiri's book and scenes from the film directed by Mira Nair (highly recommend reading and watching both!)

Both Elia and Ashima have arranged marriages with men who live outside their homelands. Rhaegar is the Crown Prince of Dragonstone, and Ashoke is pursuing a PhD in Engineering at MIT in the U.S.

This means that both women have to move out of their homes, away from everything they know, for their husbands, which is an immense personal sacrifice that many immigrant women make.

When Ashima is asked if she’ll be okay flying on a plane and living in a city so different from Calcutta, with severe, snowy winters, she responds, pointing to Ashoke, “Won’t he be there?”

This quote to me is very poignant, and it highlights a quiet yet powerful trust that Ashima has in her suitor, that even in the new foreign lands that she will have to navigate, at least she has her husband, which is also ironic considering Ashoke is ultimately a stranger to her.

This is similar to Elia’s marriage to Rhaegar. Their courtship was much longer than Ashima and Ashoke’s, a year to be precise, in which they may have become familiar with each other, though the details of this courtship are not known, so I can’t make conclusive statements.

Both Rhaegar and Ashoke are described as scholarly and mostly interested in books, even from a young age, unlike other children.

“As a young boy, the Prince of Dragonstone was bookish...Rhaegar took no interest in the play of other children.”

“As his brothers and sisters played kabadi and cricket outside, Ashoke would go to his grandfather's room...his grandfather would read...Ashoke curled at his side.”

Ashoke is also reserved and doesn’t indulge in the same things as other Americans, like smoking or drinking alcohol. Likewise, Rhaegar, as an adult, is uninterested in the same things as his peers.

Funnily enough, though, Rhaegar was “born in grief…and that shadow hung over him all his days”.  His story is a tragedy from start to finish. In contrast, Ashoke’s name means “to transcend with grief”, and his story shows how one is reborn from grief and sadness.

• Otherisation of Dornishmen in Westeros and its parallel to the treatment of South Asian Immigrants in the West •

Elia’s daughter Rhaenys is subject to racism/xenophobia by her own grandfather, Aerys, who refused to touch Rhaenys because she “smelled Dornish”. This line is very similar to the racism South Asians face in the West, who are deemed “smelly” because of their culture.

It reminds me of the racism I faced in high school and saw around me (I went to a very racist and majority white high school, unfortunately), where we were called “curry munchers”, which is a racist term in the UK, and therefore “smelly”.  

The Gangulis also face targeted racism when their mailbox with their surname is vandalised from “Ganguli” to “Gangrene”, implying that they’re infected because they’re Indian.

Ashima struggles with certain English words, like saying “finger” and “toe” instead of “fingers” and “toes,” because that’s grammatically correct in Bengali. Cashiers also smirk at Ashima and Ashoke’s accents.

Likewise, the Dornishmen have a different accent, strange to the north of Dorne, which further contributes to their alienation.

One of the focal points of The Namesake is the trouble Ashima and Ashoka have in integrating into American culture and traditions and the disconnect with their own cultural practices. But their kids are born and grow up in the US so a part of the kids' identity is foreign to them.

“For when Ashima and Ashoke close their eyes, it never fails to unsettle them, that their children sound just like Americans, expertly conversing in a language that still at times confounds them, in accents they are accustomed not to trust.”

Immigrant parents (like mine) struggle with the English language and assimilating into Western Culture (UK/US/Canada), whilst their kids become more integrated and adopt that culture more easily as they grow up there, creating a disconnect between them and their children.

This is similar to Elia; her Dornish looks and culture are scorned, especially when it is passed down to Rhaenys, but it’s easier for Aegon to assimilate and be seen as the heir and Crown Prince since he has the typical Valyrian looks. Both will grow up in different customs and traditions to Elia.

I’m also tying a lot of this to the historical xenophobia that the Dornish faced within the ASOIAF universe, particularly the marriage of Myriah Martell with Daeron II and during the Blackfyre Rebellion. 

• The naming of Elia and Ashima’s son •

Elia and Ashima both have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. But that’s a very surface level comparison and it doesn’t mean much right? Well buckle up because we’re going deeper. 

Ashoke names his son Gogol because of his favourite author Nikolai Gogol. When Ashoke was 22 years old, he was in a train accident in India.  Ashoke was crushed beneath the train and rescue workers only spotted him because they saw pages of The Overcoat fluttering in his hand.

For the next year, Ashoke was paralysed. In the movie, during this period, Ashoke describes how he could keep hearing Ghosh’s voice telling him to pack his things and see the world, which is how he came to America.

(Ghosh is another passenger on the train with Ashoke, who shares that he had recently returned from India after living in England and regretted coming back. He urges Ashoke to see more of the world outside India since he is young. He died in the train accident.)

This tragic accident haunts Ashoke for a very long time and Ashima recalls nights when Ashoke’s screams woke her as he was dreaming.

Similarly, Rhaegar names his son Aegon after a prophecy he read in his books. Rhaegar was engrossed with The Prince Who Was Promised, which is tied to the tragedy of Summerhall, where he was born. Aegon V wanted to fulfil the prophecy himself and hatch the dragons, causing the fire.

Gogol’s name has a significant effect on his life and identity, and the story follows him as he navigates it with the weight of this peculiar name and its peculiar namesake.

Aegon’s name also carries importance. By naming him Aegon, his father decides his destiny, and he wears the weight of his namesake, Aegon the Conqueror. His existence as Rhaegar’s heir, bearing the name of 5 kings before him, is a threat to Robert and the Lannisters. 

• Both are Immigrant mothers virtually raising children on their own •

Ashima and Ashoke first move to an apartment in Cambridge while Ashoke studies and then move to the Boston Suburbs. “For Ashima, migrating to the suburbs feels more drastic, more distressing than the move from Calcutta to Cambridge had been.”

Ashima feels the suburbs are more isolating. There are “no sidewalks to speak of, no streetlights, no public transportation, no stores for miles at a time”. Elia also travels from Dorne to King's Landing for the wedding, then to Dragonstone, known for its desolate, grim landscape.

Ashima has to raise the kids essentially on her own, with no support from her family as they’re back home and her father had died shortly after Gogol’s birth, in an unfamiliar, foreign land, while Ashoke has to work for the family and study for his undergrad. 

“Ashima, on her own with Gogol for the first time in the silent house, suffering from a sleep deprivation far worse than the worst of her jet lag, sits by the three-sided window in the living room on one of the triangular chairs and cries the whole day.”

Equally, Elia is abandoned by Rhaegar, after recently giving birth to her son, and therefore has to raise her two children by herself, away from Dorne, with no support from her family. Elia’s mother also died around the time of the marriage though it is not known when.

(correct me if i’m wrong btw or if there’s more concrete evidence of when the Princess of Dorne had died)

This is a story that reminds me of my immigrant mother, struggling to settle into this new country with a language she’s not familiar with, cut from the support of her family back home, while also learning how to raise 4 children in this environment.

It is also a common theme among mothers back home in my native Sri Lanka (Ilankai/Eelam), where fathers would leave to work abroad for years to earn money to send home or obtain citizenship, while the mothers had to raise the children on their own. 

However, I do want to point out that thankfully, they had family by their side because the strict nuclear family code isn’t something we follow back home; it quite literally takes a village.

That’s all! Thank you so much for reading 💘

If you enjoyed this, you can read my essay on how Daenerys’ story reflects that of a diaspora kid. If you can’t tell, I love labelling my favourite characters as immigrant daughters, and I love media about the immigrant experience.

Art Credits:

peachyxuan

amaati

chillyravenart

arantza sestayo

mourningstorms

Elia’s wearing the dress worn by Elizabeth Lavenza from Frankenstein 2025 because in my reading of Elia, she seems like a woman who had a very rich internal life. Much like Elizabeth, Elia is a woman who might want more out of life (her being very excited to travel based on what Oberyn says about her), they’re both empathetic, and die very tragically…and well I think it’s quite obvious who the lambs are supposed to represent 🥹 plus the mountain’s sword from GoT.