A Little Hufflepuff

Dick: Jason stop it

Jason: no >:}

Dick: This is why your mom sold you

Jason: This is why Bruce doesn’t adopt you

Dick: This is why your mom exploded

Jason: At least my parents didn’t die from Minecraft fall damage

Socialite 1: Is that... Nightwing? In a suit?

Socialite 2: It is! Who is that next to him? Red Robin?

Dick and Tim, with blazers and sunglasses over their normal costumes, trailing after Bruce the whole night, trying not to giggle at the absurdity of watching Bruce 'Batman' Wayne nearly spill the entire punch bowl on himself:

At first, the public is concerned that a billionaire can "buy out" vigilantes, but it doesn't take long for someone to just... ask Nightwing to guard them for a night, and he agrees, not asking for payment. This eventually becomes little kids asking for Robin to 'guard them on their way to school' and folks begging Batman to 'guard their dog for the week' (Since when did The Mission become pet sitting???) (Obviously, he agrees, tho the little yippy pomeranian gets taken to Wayne Manor for the week instead, and Ace gets a temporary new friend)

A hotline gets set up so that anyone who feels unsafe can call a number and have one of the Bat Family members walk them home. It gets used a lot by drunk college students, women, and kids who stayed up past curfew.

Scared little kid, barely able to reach the payphone, using their last quarters: Um... I n-need.. Robin.. p-please.. I'm really scared... its really d-dark... my house is far away...

Damian, who is already in the area, beelining towards where the call came from:

When asked about it during an interview he responds, “Why let the girls have all the fun?” before winking at the camera, kissing some reporter on the cheek, and disappearing while the camera pans to the bright red lipstick mark.

His kids do the bulk of the promoting, sending out packages to people on youtube and tiktok and instagram. Tim has them all try out a few looks on their social medias. There are a few “collabs” that Bruce is grateful he doesn’t have to appear in.

The fan favorite of the promos is a youtube video called My Siblings Do My Makeup, which is just Tim subjecting himself to the chaos. Steph and Dick’s looks are as always, unfairly good. Jason goes for a drag look and Tim is happy to complete the makeover when Steph lends him an appropriate dress. Cass and Duke do well but they go for straightforward and not overly complicated. The video ends with Damian’s look, everyone sitting stunned. He hadn’t gone for the obvious troll they’d been expecting. In fact, Tim thought it might be his favorite look of the video. When pressed, all Damian would say on the subject is, “I have seen my Mother prepare for far more dignified outings than the galas you subject me to.”

It’s an absolute hit. Especially in Gotham, where people have frequent encounters with rogues that love leaving their victims with “reminders” that aren’t easy concealed. There are reddit pages dedicated to people suggesting the brand for covering up scars and other noticeable markings.

I also understand that “middle-aged yaoi” isn’t as fun to say as “old man yaoi”, even when it’s more technically accurate.

me @ 10

Larpgpt interaction that gagged me. Written in like thirty seconds no less like wtf,, BARS??? I'm actually insane about this.