CHECK THAT ASS

ransom and holster have multiple vines that go absolutely viral, and they hold it over everyone else’s heads for weeks. when they actually surpass the 50k follower milestone, they end up getting so overcome with attention that they hold a meet and greet in downtown boston. when they get there, there’s a crowd of mostly 13-16yos with some parents mingling along the edges, and that’s when they find out their vines went viral mainly with teens.

shitty has one (1) vine that goes sorta viral, and it’s a vine making fun of the toxic masculinity in locker rooms. it actually makes it’s rounds on twitter where a few users make…interesting comments about the ‘stache.

lardo only posts vines every once in a while, and a few do decent numbers. but really, most of her internet following comes from her art instagram page, where she met her first girlfriend her freshman year at samwell. the girl dm-ed her and they met up and they actually even made a vine together. lardo never took that vine down.

bitty loves vine. it’s no twitter or youtube, but he loves it all the same, and he’d never admit it but when holster and ransom gloated their virality, he was jealous. not, like, jealous jealous, but jealous enough that he made four extra pies that night. and maybe a few passive tweets get posted between pies. he never does end up having a vine go viral, but he eventually reaches a point (the day vine died) where he doesn’t care anymore.

Jack narrows his eyes at his niece, way too prococious for a seven-year-old but what did he expect, given her parentage? “Did you dad tell you to ask me that?”

“Mommy and Daddy are worried that you’re going to be sad after you retire next year and don’t have the cold, cold arms of hockey to keep you warm.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Jack says.

Ruth shrugs and takes a long sip of her Italian soda. Her second of the evening, because Jack is a sucker and can’t tell her no. “Do you?” she demands, setting the glass down. Jack suddenly has a flashback to her father doing the same thing in college, but with a bottle of beer.

“No. Next question.”

“Who are you taking to the ESPYs?”

“You.” Jack hopes it will at least elicit a giggle but Ruth just stares at him gravely.

“You know I’m not allowed to stay up past nine. I think you should take Bitty.”

“Who?” Jack is pretty sure he’s never met a ‘Bitty’ in his life.

“Bitty. He took pictures at the Little Falconers skate clinic.” Ruth rolls her eyes like, duh, who doesn’t know Bitty?

“Do you mean Eric?” Eric is the new guy who was recently hired in PR. He’s been involved in a lot of outreach events this summer and, despite his best efforts, has not convinced Jack to run in the newly established Falconers 5K that’s scheduled for the weekend before the season begins.

Eric is cute. And outgoing. He always seems to be in the middle of doing three things at once: tweeting something from the official Falconers account while filming candid footage for the YouTube channel and convincing some of the younger—and therefore more eager—players to film videos where they try new products they’ve been sent.

Jack still blushes when he remembers how Eric, when the Falcs finally got knocked out of the playoffs, had brandished some sort of new razor and asked Jack if he could shave his beard off on camera.

Eric is way out of Jack’s league.

“Bitty, Eric—” Ruth waves a dismissive hand. “He told us his hockey nickname is Bitty.”

Jack wonders why Eric has never told him that Eric’s hockey nickname is Bitty, until he remembers he always has a convenient excuse to avoid Eric just in case he tries to ask him about his lack of social media presence. Or cajole him into filming a video of his day-off routine. Or make him try the pie that inexplicably started appearing in the break room once he was hired.

Eric is way out of Jack’s league.

“And why do you think I should go out with Bit— er, Eric?”

“He’s nice. He looks like he gives good hugs, and Daddy always says you need more hugs. And he told me he has a cat! We can’t have a cat because Mommy is allergic, but if you marry Eric I can play with it when I stay over.”

Oh, of course. This is about a cat.

“I haven’t even been on a date with him,” Jack reminds her. “Don’t you think marriage is a little premature?”

“I think you really have a shot with him,” Ruth says. She wrinkles her nose. “Maybe not in that shirt, though. We should go shopping.”

Later, after they’ve read a chapter of A Wrinkle in Time and Ruth is snugly tucked into the bed in Jack’s guest room, Jack texts Shitty and Lardo: “Tell your daughter to stop interrogating me about my love life.”

IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN THEM

AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE THEM

I've been here for six years. Six years and I can't escape. Zimbits is my number 1.

Bitty: see he just did it there

​It starts because of a kid on his peewee hockey team.  The kid’s dad was a major fan, first of Jack’s dad and then of Jack himself, and the kid had asked Jack for an autograph for his dad’s birthday.  Jack had signed the wilted, wrinkled photograph, but it had bugged him.  He wasn’t someone to be proud of.  If there was anyone to be proud of it was these kids.  They had come in with a wild mix of skills and were now leaving able to win every couple of games.  They all tried so hard and had so much fun doing it.  Jack adored them and he adored their spirit.

So, at the end of the season, Jack had taken off his jersey and had them all sign it.  He carries it with him every time he moves, wrapped in a clothing bag meant for suits.  Sometimes he’ll take it out and look at it, but mostly he just keeps it close.

Bitty moves in with Jack after he graduates and finds it cleaning out the closet one day.  When he asks Jack about it, Jack tells him about the kids.  Each time Bitty points at a name, Jack smiles and tells him a story about the kid.  He does it for every single name on the jersey.  (Bitty may or may not go out and buy a wedding ring the very next day.)

Bitty takes the jersey and has it framed.  He hangs it up in their bedroom and it makes Jack smile every time he sees it.

A wicked wizard roams the Waste in a moving castle, or so the stories say. The wizard, the stories say, dreams of power beyond comprehension and will stop at nothing to attain it.

Derek Nurse, however, dreams of flowers.

or: a nurseydex howl's moving castle au

written for @omgcpbigbang2021 with a podfic by @aliteralgarbageheap

i know that coach saying he wants to get to know jack as The Boyfriend is already a huge step that bitty was understandably very happy about but i’m just thinking abt coach and bittys relationship in the long run if he never chooses to really vocalize how sorry he is and acknowledges out loud that it was fucked up that he made bitty feel messed up FOR YEARS and really shows that he understands how just because he isn’t kicking bitty out or disowning him doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with the shit he said in that car.

and maybe a hug and a “you’re good, okay?” is more than enough when you’re young and fucking terrified of your dad’s reaction to you coming out. but will it always be enough in the long run if coach doesn’t learn to do more?

because yeah not everything is abt Words of Affirmation but in this case? they do matter and bitty does deserve them eventually. especially since he’s gone so long without them from coach that when coach said ’that don’t make you messed up, you know that’ bitty’s first reply was ‘daddy how am i supposed to know what you think?’