Harrison

needed more reading terminal market

matt realizing the buffet plan is maybe the only one he's ever flawlessly executed that ended in its intended result and he's in absolute agony over it...being so comfortable with failure he's never done something motivated by that much fear. losing jay is apocalyptic, so he understands all at once that if he gets what he SAYS he wants most in the world, the rivoli, the future for them isn't locked down and it's like. he can execute a plan, he just did, what happens if the next one works? why isn't he scared enough of losing a chance at the rivoli to make it work? jay is smiling at him like that on the streetcar and said he'll go to the ends of the earth with him, and getting what he wants doesn't even feel like it should. their singular dream is now completely terrifying. jay smiles at him again under the fireworks and he he still can't even look at him. jay will go to the ends of the earth with him but their private world is getting smaller and smaller. there's an end in sight and it's completely enmeshed in the one thing that's keeping them together. what does he actually want? does he want more than he's ever let himself think about, something that if ever was spoken out loud could be just as apocalyptic? it's such a nice night, it's the best canada day yet.

"thought crimes aren't real, it's your actions that matter" and "your mindset informs how you treat others, so you should try not to have a shitty one" are another pair of things that are both true btw

watching interviews with matt johnson is so funny. "this movie took 200 days to shoot and we didnt get a single permit to film the entire time. the entire soundtrack is covered in copyrighted music we dont have the rights to. its about the magic of friendship and i refuse to change anything."

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

crazy how the printer is the only piece of tech that acts up like that almost every day of its life. and we just accept it

i don't think i've ever met a printer that actually wanted to be a printer. i think most printers have dreams of being on the stage

got my lab results back turns out i’m full of rage because i am full of grief