Beep Beep Is In The Corner

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

kind of fascinating how a lot of people don’t really know how food works

saw a twitter video of a dude making like fried broccoli with bacon or whatever and everyone in the replies was going “can’t believe he took something healthy and turned it into poison!!!!” i don’t really know how to explain to you that you’re still eating broccoli, and the healthy nutrients do not magically leave the broccoli just because you fried it

love my downward spiral :) #myspiral #descending

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going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me