You and Satoru have been friends since childhood, you've always been very close, so much that people have always assumed you two were a couple, but that wasn't the case, you just happen to be really good friends.
Even though you're both in college now, nothing has changed between the two of you—you're still best friends.
Neither you or Satoru noticed the change in your behavior, but your friends and the people around you did.
In your opinion, those were normal things best friends did, but everyone said that remembering the exact order the other ordered at the bar and adjusting each other's clothes if they were slightly out of place was more than just being “just friends.”
More intimate moments were becoming more common between the two of you, but neither of you noticed them—or maybe you did notice them but weren't brave enough to talk about them.
Even though you're always hugging each other, your most recent hugs seem to mean more.
The line between being friends and being a couple seemed to fade as the weeks went by.
Even with all this overwhelming evidence, the two of you were total idiots and didn't seem to notice a thing, which is why your friends decided to tease you about it, constantly making jokes about how you can't seem to realize that you're practically already a couple.
The thing was, the two of you didn't deny anything; you just stayed silent and laughed along with them. The only times you tried to deny the accusations, you looked like two kids making up ridiculous excuses.
You're in college, almost twenty three years old, and you felt like a loser, not because you had top grades in almost every subject and was second in the entire university behind Satoru, no, you felt like a loser because you've never had a boyfriend.
If you were being honest with yourself, the reason is that you were probably so attached to Satoru that you thought you'd never want a boyfriend who would “replace” him.
But now that you're older and you see all your friends with their boyfriends, you want one too—someone you can call your boyfriend and kiss on the mouth—but you didn't know how, you weren't exactly a social butterfly.
So you decided to download a dating app, as embarrassing as it was, it was the easiest choice.
“So you want to find a boyfriend through a dating app?”
Satoru adjusted his glasses with the palm of his hand, it was hard to ignore his expression, he seemed completely opposed to your idea.
“Well, yeah… is that wrong?”
He sighed, staring at the ceiling as he stretched out in his chair. “In itself? No, nothing, but on those apps there are usually untrustworthy people, and a lot of the time they even lie about their true identities.”
Actually, he was totally right, but what else could you do? If you took your time learning to communicate normally with people, you'd never find a boyfriend—or maybe you were just too impatient.
You sighed too, lying down in his bed. Satoru’s room was probably the place you’d spent the most time in your life, aside from your own home. His bed was comfortable, his video games were fun to play, and spending time with him was wonderful.
“And what kind of guy are you looking for? You don't want to date just anyone, do you?”
What kind of man would you like? It wasn't a question you'd ever asked yourself, but if you really had to choose, you'd say a man like him—a man like Satoru: funny, smart, and someone who's fun to be around.
But you can't really say something like that, can you? That would be weird…
“If I had to think about the kind of man I like, I'd say someone who's funny, likable, and smart—maybe even someone with interesting hobbies, like watching anime or playing video games.”
Was your description too much like him? Who knows if he noticed.
His face wasn't completely turned toward you, so you missed it—his nose was scrunched up and his eyebrows were furrowed, in other words, he was jealous.
Satoru hated feeling this way, you were his best friend, and he shouldn't have been jealous of your relationships, but there was nothing he could do about it.
“Hmm, I see—a smart, nice guy.” He got up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Have you already created your profile? If you want, I can set it up for you.”
You gave him your phone; he spent a few seconds typing something before giving it back to you. You didn't see what he wrote because you then played and watched Digimon together, you didn't see your profile until hours later at your house.
I've been with my boyfriend for over ten years, and I'm cheating on him.
All of that, along with the profile picture—a silly photo he took of you a few days earlier.
That evening, you took a screenshot of what he did and updated your profile, adding a cute photo of yourself and changing your bio with some of your interests and personality traits.
To your surprise, it didn't take long for someone to match with you. The next day, you matched with a guy from your same university. You chatted for a few days, he was cute and funny—what more could you ask for, right?
Of course you talked to Satoru about it—he's your best friend, so why wouldn't you?
Unfortunately, it was a mistake. Satoru wasn't happy at all about the news, ever since the day you told him that, he hasn't spoken to you, he stopped studying with you, and he didn't even sit next to you in class.
You missed being with Satoru, studying at home alone wasn't the same as studying at his place. You missed the way the two of you would hug each other in his bed and fall asleep like that.
Your match decided to set up your first date, but you just couldn't do it, you couldn't stop thinking about Satoru. Nothing like this had ever happened between the two of you before, usually, when you argued, things got fixed quickly and very easily, but this time, for days, you couldn't find a way to fix the issue.
Honestly, you didn't even know what the problem was. Did you say something wrong? It didn't seem like that was the problem, all you did was show him your match… Was Satoru jealous?
In the end, you decided to cancel the date, you could barely fall asleep because you kept thinking about Satoru, how could you possibly go on a date in this state?
It was a Saturday, so there were no classes, and you took advantage of the day to spam Satoru with messages.
“Satoru, did i do something wrong?”
“Please answer me, i swear i'll do everything i can to make it up to you.”
“Just answer me at least once.”
But none of them were seen.
At this point, the only thing to do was find him. All you knew was that he wasn't home right now, he was never home at this time of day, he was usually in town, at the library, or buying sweets.
You spent hours walking and walking, looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. You were about to cry and you were tired, so you decided to go to the park, where you could sit down and catch your breath.
Sitting on a bench in a secluded part of the park, with your hands over your face to hide the mess you made from crying, you heard his voice calling you out, you immediately looked up, and there he was, standing right in front of you.
“Why are you crying? Did that guy break your heart?” The sarcasm in his voice was obvious, but so was the way he seemed hasitant to look you in the eyes.
You completely ignored his questions, getting up quickly and walking over to him. “Satoru! What happened to you? I’ve been looking for you for days, and you weren’t answering my messages.”
Your throat was dry, and it became painful to swallow, tears began to blur your vision.
“Why did you ignore me, Satoru? What did I do to you? At least tell me, please.”
His eyebrows lowered and pulled closer together, he desperately tried to hold back the tears forming in his eyes, but your reaction made it harder for him to control himself.
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” Unable to hold back any longer, he started crying too, now you were both crying in the middle of a park. “I'm so, so sorry, please forgive me.” He winced out of sympathy and guilt.
“I've been a jerk, I probably even ruined your relationship with that guy just because of my childish behavior.” He looked up, his eyes wet with tears. “I was jealous, extremely jealous. I've been feeling this way about you for months.”
Your confusion made his confession even worse than expected.
"What I'm trying to tell you is that I like you, a lot, every time I look into your eyes, my heart races, and I—I think you’re so cute, and I have to hold back my compliments every time you show me your new clothes so I don’t seem like a creep. When you told me you were looking for a boyfriend, I—” he let out a nervous chuckle, “I wanted to offer myself as your boyfriend. I was convinced I was the best choice because I know you—not even your own parents know you as well as I do.”
His confession left you speechless, as if someone had pressed the mute button on your voice, leaving you unable to utter a single syllable.
“What? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Satoru, I—” The weight of your emotions anchored your words to the pit of your stomach, leaving you unable to express your thoughts.
You never thought something like this would ever happen. You and Satoru were friends—just friends, right? So why did you both feel that way?
“I feel the same way as you do, Satoru. I tried to ignore these feelings I have for you, but I just couldn't. When I described my ideal type, I had you in mind. I think you're super smart, cute, funny, and likable. I think you're perfection personified.”
His lips quirked into a smile. “So that's how it is? Haha, fuck. If I'd known that, we wouldn't be in this situation right now.” Her smile turned into a smirk, it was so contagious that she felt her own lips curling.
What had previously been a rather awkward situation became almost comforting thanks to your confessions—letting go of feelings that were suffocating you without you even realizing it.
Both of your tears dried up, and you sat down on the bench together, with some space between you—after all, everything that just happened is a lot to process.
“So… what about your match?” A crimson flush spread across his cheeks. “Well, he had planned a date for today, but since I was looking for you, I turned him down… and anyway, I don't think I need a match anymore.”
Your hands reached for each other and intertwined your fingers, it had been quite a few days since you’d felt the warmth of his body—it’s refreshing.
“Yeah, I think you don't need another boyfriend anymore, since you have the only one in front of you.”
You laughed at his words, that was the Satoru you remembered, you missed his sarcasm.
Your faces slowly drew closer until your lips touched. Neither of you had any experience with this kind of thing, so the kiss was sloppy and awkward, but at least it was something you shared.
Once you finished the kiss, you laughed at how bad it was, you'll definitely have to work on that in the future.
“How about going to my place?”
“Thanks for asking, I missed your bed.”
