💚

i've been here for all of it (i don't know if you have, OP, so forgive me if this sounds condescending at all) and i pretty much watched it happen and was annoyed and upset the whole time, 'cause you are fundamentally correct--being marginalized is a hell all its own, that is the root of why we have higher death and addiction and suicide and mental illness rates. i don't think anyone was ever insinuating otherwise, at least not anywhere i've seen it.

but from what i saw on this website & other online spaces vaguely adjacent, it went like this:

this post was made:

2. young queerfolk, alcoholics, disabled queers (with both physical & sensory sensitivities), and many other groups that fell in agreement with this for their own personal reasons added onto the sentiment. at the time (over a decade ago, give or take?) it was not the norm to have many other options besides 1. bar/nightclub or 2. GSA, if you were lucky enough to have one at your school/university.

3. of these groups that showed support for this sentiment were sex-repulsed asexual people who felt uncomfortable with the sexual nature & unspoken pressure to 'hook up' at gay bars & night clubs.

4. around 2014, exclusionists on this website decided that it was trendy to violently abuse asexuals & aromantics for clout. every single thing the aroace community did on tumblr was met with meangirl backlash at best and relentless vitriol at worst. this more or less destroyed the aroace community and it has still not recovered to this day.

5. one of the most potent forms of propaganda leveled at the ace community was malicious reframing of sex-repulsion as a concept. the sex-repulsed ace is, obviously, just minding their own business and living their truth--but exclusionists intentionally framed them as virulent, homophobic prudes who went around telling the ~real~ queers where they were and were not allowed to have their Gross Faggot Sex, etc etc.

6. one of the most effective ways they propagandized this was by out-of-context circulation of posts like the one i posted above.

(and, occasionally, actual psy-ops where users would pretend to be asexuals and intentionally post cringey, anti-sex, anti-kink, homophobic nonsense and of course the 'no internet skepticism skills' website believed it)

7. posts like this stopped being read in good faith. seeing a post like the above, tumblr users before the ace discourse instilled brainrot in half this website would see it and think "yeah! it would be awesome if we had more options." after the ace discourse, the reaction a lot of those same people would have would be more like "i cannot believe the cringey aces on this website are still acting like gay bars and night clubs are depraved sex dens full of rambunctious horny dykes. they don't even know how homophobic they are."

8. miraculously, eventually, the ace discourse freaks all either 1. moved onto bi/pan lesbians (and so far are doing a pretty shit job) or 2. were run off the site/out of communities because people unpacked shit and realized they were on the wrong side of things.

9. arguments in defense of the original point came back out of the woodwork. "now that the ace discourse has died down, can we please fucking get back to rallying for more queer spaces other than bars and clubs? the autistics, the mobility aid users, the children and teenagers, the sex-repulsed asexuals, and the alcoholics deserve options for community too."

10. presumably, these posts are circulating now, because they make good points.

i don't think any queer alcoholic is going to genuinely say that gay bars are the reason we have a higher alcoholism rate. we have that because society wants us dead and you have to find a way to survive knowing that. but 1. the alcohol companies know that and intentionally prey on us, see them setting up their rainbow floats at pride every year and 2. the lack of sober queer spaces makes it hard, often nigh impossible to stay clean and sober. it's hard enough to stay clean and sober as a cishet, alcoholics bleed friends like fucking crazy when we make the choice to stay sober or even just cut back. 12 step programs are largely bunk, but repeated studies have shown that the reason they work on accident is because they are a social space where addicts can find community without the pressure to use.

so if cishets struggle that hard, we struggle much harder. and, yes, the lack of sober queer spaces is a huge part of that. back in 2014, we addicts on tumblr were largely laughed out of every room we entered, every point of discourse we tried to spur on. i got a multitude of pretty violent threats on here back then for talking openly about intoxication culture and how addiction was a disability. and that was before the ace discourse ramped up.

so i think probably what's happening is queer addicts are finally feeling emboldened again to discuss this and perhaps some nuance is being lost in the many, MANY layers of telephone over the years. perhaps some of them are remembering the shitty discourse and how they were swept under the rug and persecuted as homophobes/apologists because they, for their own reasons, dared to share similar opinions with asexuals in 2014.

Keeping a running list of all GoFundMes I've been sent or contacted about moving forward. Please consider donating to the families on this list or sharing it.

Updated September 7th 2024

Vetted campaigns (90-ghost el-shab-hussein beesandwatermelond or nabulsi) :

@ahmadrash | GFM | ($11,824/31,000)

@motaz352 | GFM | kr39,432 SEK/kr250,000

@emanalmadhoun1 | GFM | €16,151/€20,000

@anas--basil | GFM |€2,627/€15,000

@fidaa-family2 | GFM | $22,825/$30,000

@nadoosha-sd | GFM | $305/$25,000

@aya-alanqar | GFM | €11,139/€15,000

@hadiah1111 | GFM | €3,385/€50,000

@falestine-yousef | GFM | $18,977/$40,000

@shadowyavenuetaco | GFM | £4,505/£50,000

@shah599 | GFM | €4,643/€20,000

@palestinianhadeel | GFM | €6,461/€20,000

@mohammed--shehab | GFM | €8,805/€25,000

@reemygaza | GFM | €452/€50,000

@abed-rashad13 | GFM | $6,706/$50,000

@wafaaresh6 | GFM | $10,535/$50,000

@monagaza | GFM | $18,710/$92,000

@dodoomar12345 | GFM | kr188,814 SEK/kr300,000

@ashraf-baker5 | GFM | €21,236/€25,000

@monashamali90 | GFM | £14,044/£30,000

@hanaa-yousef | GFM | £14,959/£50,000

@omaryahya10 | GFM | €100/€50,000

@kareem-family2 | GFM | €8,605/€20,000

@mohamedabuzoor | GFM | €1,254/€60,000

@fatma-anqer | GFM | €7,640/€20,000

@hyamshehab222 | GFM | €8,810/€25,000

@bara-belal | GFM | $6,706/$50,000

@khadiga22 | GFM | €10,557/€20,000

@safaayasserang | GFM | €1,321/€50,000

@anasfamilys | GFM | 2,163/50,000€

@kareemalnakhala | GFM | €8,597/€80,000

@rodainaayad-11 @rodainaayad83 | GFM | €10,340/€30,000

@mahmodsy | GFM | $1,878/$25,000

@eslamfamily3 | GFM | $5,783/$50,000

@mohamadsmeer35 | GFM | $1,563 AUD/$45,000

@ranin3344 | GFM | €8,488/€80,000

@hebamatar | GFM | $50 CAD/$30,000

@fahedshehab051 | GFM | €48,959/€85,000

@adham-89 | GFM | $11,791/$50,000

@karemandohan1999 | GFM | $7,552/$50,000

@mohammedaldeeb | GFM | €40,215/€55,000

@nevinalser | GFM | €1,453/€50,000

Verified by association:

@sameer-gaza1 | GFM | ($4,199/50,000)

@ahmedomer9 | GFM | €2,187/€50,000

@lina-gaza | GFM | €37,982/€45,000

@alaa-gaza | GFM | $4,240/$5,000

@abdala1 | GFM | $3,545 AUD/$75,000

@save-amal-family | GFM | €22,565/€25,000

@motaz-gaza and @huda-gaza | GFM | $375/$10,000

@mariam-gaza | GFM | $75/$20,000

@ahmad-syam-blog | GFM | $3,488 CAD/$40,000

@somaiahassansworld | GFM | €673/€50,000

@hind3en | GFM | $505/$40,000

@abood-200 | GFM | €727/€50,000

@ayoosh-gaza | GFM | $4,713/$20,000

@maysaayahya85 | GFM | €335/€35,000

@emanabosedo | GFM | $571/$50,000

@hazemsuhail | GFM | €6,683/€50,000

@aahmedfamly | GFM | €782/€50,000

Unvetted:

@saveomarfamily | GFM | ($283/35,000)

@mohamadwajih | GFM | (€105/€50,000)

@mahmoud201191 | GFM | €15/€50,000

azeza-dhlan | GFM | €80/€35,000

@mohammednasers-blog | GFM | €4,100/€38,000

@nourasissue | GFM | 0/€50,000

@ahmedhellis22 | GFM | $325/$30,000

@familygazaamal | GFM | $332/$30,000

@amalousama | GFM | $1,357/$35,000

@ahmadallouh32 | GFM | €1,334/€50,000

@savepalestineinfamily19 | GFM | €6,867/€50,000

@rana994 | GFM | kr16,778 SEK/kr200,000

@anasalshrafa | GFM | €1,282/€50,000

@a6h16 | GFM | €105/€49,200

@hanan-gaza23 | GFM | €2,217/€50,000

@ahmed-al-anqar | GFM | 0/£60,000

@ahmedmatatsblog | GFM | €585/€64,000

@baraaalshrafa | GFM | 77€/50,000€

@ahmeddahlancampaign | GFM | €128/€35,000

@ahmadshamia | GFM | kr58,835 SEK/kr250,000

@wajihmadi | GFM | €105/€50,000

@abuadam86 | GFM | kr3,260 SEK/kr500,000

@abdallaalhaj | GFM | £130/£50,000

@shady0598767755123 | GFM | €570/€50,000

@ameerakhaled | GFM | $485AUD/$60,000

@syamamasamt | GFM | $160/$65,000

@helpmohammed2024 | GFM | $2,752/$50,000

@springbutterfly37 | GFM | $1,270/$45,000

@mohammednfamily | GFM | €15/€30,000

@rafatalswissi | GFM | €189/€45,000

@abdallaalhaj | GFM | £130/£50,000

@supercloudstrawberry | GFM | €2,090/€25,000

@mohmad77 | GFM | €1,240/€80,000

@hamadamontaha9988 | GFM | €300/€60,000

@rewaa33 | GFM | $580/$50,000

@mohays-blog | GFM | €4,472/€100,000

@hamad-1981 | GFM | €255/€45,000

@hamdiali112233 | GFM | €547/€25,000

@amnyaburas | GFM | $1,105 CAD/$68,000

@alaakhaled0 | GFM | €159/€20,000

Vetted:

@khalid-sisters | GFM | $1,711/$15,000

@abdelmutei | GFM | €12,651/€25,000

@anasalshrofa | GFM | €1,821/€50,000

@mohammedalhabil200 @abeeribrahims | GFM | $16,350 CAD/$70,000

@help-mona | GFM | €8,340/€185,300

Unvetted:

@rehamqas | GFM | €35/€10,000

@yosefjamal90 | GFM | €70/€45,000

@maliksamer8 | GFM | €50/€14,000

@helpamalm | GFM | €876/€53,000

@hebamohammedsy | GFM | $375 CAD/$30,000

Other ways to support (From my previously pinned post):

Operation Olive Branch

Feminine Hygiene Products for Gaza

Gaza eSims

Mutual Aid Diabetes