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Here’s a hug (or a high-five if you prefer) for everyone who is deeply interested in sex as a topic but not as an activity. 

Maybe you are interested in sex from a biological or psychological perspective (sexual health, relationship dynamics, cultural differences etc.) or from a creative standpoint (reading, writing, drawing, watching sex scenes), or maybe it tickles your collectors brain (in a „I’d like an itemized list of all sex positions, no I do not want to try any of them, I just like lists“ way) - but in either case, you are not sexually active and you do not wish to be. 

People who are not interested in having sex are often assumed to be immature, as if it automatically means you are a 7 year old in their „eww kissing gives you cooties“ phase. You are assigned a childlike innocence, you are presumed to have no understanding of how sex works or that it even exists…  But in reality you may actually have more theoretical knowledge on sex than your peers do! You just happen to not want the hands-on experience. 

People may also automatically assume you’re disgusted or even deeply afraid of sex and feel like they need to tip-toe around the topic with you - which can create a really unpleasant disconnect between your internal self-image and the way others treat you. In reality, you may love to talk about sex and wish you could discuss it with others freely without having to fight assumptions. There’s a loneliness in this. 

„Interested but not personally participating“ is not as strange a combination as people may think. People really do that with lots of activities! People can be super into watching sports but not play any sports themselves. People can love to learn about dogs but would personally never get one. It shouldn’t be that surprising that it can apply to sex too. 

There’s nothing wrong or weird about you. You basically just love basketball but do not play it. A fully normal, valid thing. 

With all my love, 

I met a woman who breastfed her adopted black children as a form of reparations for when enslaved black women had to be wet nurses for white children. She used to post photos on her web site until she got a lot of backlash.

One white couple, who like almost all these parents, did not have any black friends or relationships with any black people, would arrange "black" time for their children by inviting other white parents of black adoptees for African-themed parties.

The kids were all American-born black kids but they would parade them in kente cloth outfits and make them do drumming. Almost all the white adoptive parents I met thought African culture was legitimate but they had to protect black kids from black American cultural influence.

White parents often did not bother to learn a single thing about how to care for black children's hair, somehow believed black children did not need to wash or comb their hair for months would would get offended when a concerned black person would try to instruct them.

One white family told legitimately told me, without a hint of irony or shame, that they'd adopted a black boy because her husband always wanted a son who would be a basketball player.

They would pretend to be "colorblind" while aggressively removing their children from any and all contact with black institutions, black movies, black books or other aspects of black culture.

When I asked if it were fair to the child to constantly force the child to be the only black person at school, at church, at gatherings, they would tell me that they did not go to black churches or programs and it would feel fake and insincere if they joined just for their child.

They believed they could make the children culturally white and simply overlook their skin color and the way the whole world would see them. They were most concerned about their racial comfort and had no concern for the discomfort and isolation their children would feel.

And, yes, the thought the black people who showed concern, who offered to help them navigate the racial reality of America, or passed along info about black hair salons, or suggested black churches or cultural events were the real racists.

So, yeah, I decided I could not write the story and be fair, because being fair meant I would have trashed their entire existence.

Oh, and did you know that many private adoption agencies let you choose the acceptable percentage of blackness in the child you will accept. Part of the application lets you select if you'll take a fully black child, half black or just a quarter black.

Black children are always rated the least desirable. They often go to the white parents who are the most desperate, who haven't been able to get any of their other choices. So, yeah.

Many Asian adoptees have had similar experiences. I interviewed some as well. They were part of a group known as Angry Korean Adoptees.

translifeline.org

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CANADA: (877) 330-6366

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Today I return carrying what little hope remains, and I pray that this hope will not be lost. I ask God to bless every hand extended in kindness, and to reward all those who stand with us with the best of rewards ... 💔💔💔

This campaignwassharedby @90-ghost here

I explained very clearly to the manager my issue with the meat section not having the price tags listed, and they claimed it was only going to be for the meat, since meat is by weight, and the price of each item is printed on the packs of each item.

Sure. That’s how they get their foot in the door. Fast forward not even two weeks, and here we are:

Bar codes. No prices, no item descriptions. No price stickers on the individual items. Heck, not even the name of the item that is SUPPOSED to be there.

No. The only way to see the price is to scan it on your phone app, which is also recording what you looked at recently, as a way of gauging what you might be looking for in the future.

So here’s what we’re gonna do gang:

Every time you go into a store that has implemented these price-less tags:

Take 1-3 items up to the cash register. Ask the cashier for the price, or hit the price check item on the self checkout, which will likely call over the attendant.

Express that you didn’t actually want it, you just couldn’t see on the shelf how much it was.

POLITELY, AND WITH A THANK YOU FOR THE PRICE CONFIRMATION, Give the items to the cashier or attendant to put back.

When they inevitably try to push the app, politely decline. If pressed for why not, say you don’t want to have to carry your phone in-hand the whole time you are shopping in order to see how much things cost. (Not having cell service or data to use the app is NOT a valid excuse, as stores already often have complimentary WiFi AND more stores will provide WiFi rather than give up on this push for surveillance pricing)

If it’s a shelf-stable item, the cashier will have to set it aside, taking up room in their limited operating space, and eventually pass it off to someone to put in a holding area to put back later. If it’s a fridge/freezer item, it might have to get tossed due to food product sale regulations.

In either case, you are making it a pain in the ass for them to have these digital bar codes. Tie up the checkouts. Give the employees more busywork that the company has to pay them to do. Hurt their bottom line having to toss the pint of ice cream you carried around in your cart for 20 minutes before giving it back to the cashier.