Titled

find what works for you. i ask myself "which feels better":

electric toothbrush or acoustic toothbrush?

flavorful toothpaste, sensitive teeth toothpaste, or something else?

string floss or a single-use floss pick? fancy water floss machine?

staring intently in the mirror, scrolling media, or something else?

brushing your teeth anytime during the day is better than nothing. flossing your teeth when you're able (personally i went from none to once a week to every two days) is better than nothing.

(Vetted #47)

I've written before about Abdul's son needing a new kidney. Unfortunately, he never got treatment and his condition is worsening rapidly. His parents are desperate to save him.

Donations are their only source of income, and the campaign has stagnated -- $23 in the last month.

Please share if you can't afford to donate.

$3 PWYW Fullbody/headshot and also doing $1 shaded headshots this month.

While Saja's husband Ahmad has been recovering from his recent surgery, he experienced a serious complication.

Saja contacted me recently to tell me that Ahmad has been taken to the hospital because of a urinary catheter that caused a wound to his bladder. He didn't notice because he has no feeling in his lower body. He lost a lot of blood and some people donated blood so he could regain consciousness. Now he needs bladder surgery. I have asked Saja for more details about the surgery and will add any I get. Please donate and share to help him out!

Also yesterday (Nov 8, 2025) Ahmad contacted me to ask for help for food and other necessities for his children and to cover the treatment he needs. He has told me that his treatment expenses for his bladder are about $350 per week. He also said he will need surgery for his bladder. Please help Ahmad and his family by donating and reblogging!

Saja is vetted by association. Her brother Jaafar is vetted by gazavetters and is #299 on their list. See this post for screenshot of vetting info.

Saja's fundraiser:

BLADDER TREATMENT $30/$350 (per week)

BLADDER SURGERY: $288/?

for some additional details, see this reblog here. Please donate if you can or reblog. Saja's family needs a lot of support!

BLADDER TREATMENT $104/$350 (per week)

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $1916/$4,000

I have again had to subtract from the amount donated for Ahmad's urgently needed medical treatment to reach the weekly bladder treatment goal. In addition, Saja still urgently needs a new phone after her old one broke. Please donate if you can and reblog to help them out!

BLADDER TREATMENT $16/$350 (per week)

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $1,382/$4,000

I've had to subtract from the medical treatment amount again for the weekly treatment. Please donate if you can and reblog to help!

BLADDER TREATMENT $17/$350 (per week)

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $586/$4,000

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $586/$4,000

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $586/$4,000

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $586/$4,000

PHONE: $0/$5000?

MEDICAL TREATMENT: $586/$4,000

Today I published Chasing Uncertainty, my second Cento poetry compilation. Centos are similar to blackout poetry, and this arrangement is created from All The Black Girls are Activists by ebonyjanice.

These poems are based in Transfeminist Womanism—a synthesis of Transfeminism and Womanism—and were created with Black transfemmes in mind. All are welcome to read and resonate with these pieces, but Black transfemmes remain the primary audience.

Feel free to share your thoughts with me once you read it or as you read it, and I’d deeply appreciate it if you shared/reblogged this when you see it, to help expand its reach 💖

Instead, what I feel reading these works is humbled. Not in a self-flaggelant way or any kind of white guilt bullshit, but the kind of humbling that I felt when I was brought on Country, and felt the power of those traditional lands as I looked out to sea.

And these works carry a similar power to them. They hold a deep connection to Transfemininity and Blackness that cannot be disconnected from each other- A connection that I lack the lived experience to fully grasp. It's for this reason that I am grateful and humbled; To be invited in and see such an important, powerful story.

A few things stuck out to me. I saw myself in parts of every work, more or less, (especially Call Me By My Name, Bodies and Shame) and it was my inability to see myself in the others that really spoke to me. If you stripped away the meaning, painted over the details, and do the very things that When The Story Was Stolen talks about, it could be my story. But I'm not going to do that. These works don't serve as a mirror for me, just as a story of my life could never fully reflect a Black Trans Woman's back at her - like a window, reflecting parts, while others are lost in the gaps. In a way, these stories are stained glass. They present something to me. Something important. The parts that don't reflect me are the parts that I must see.

soft trans girls caught me off guard. It's perhaps the most stark story in my inability to see myself in it, for one reason. I see myself as a soft trans girl. I think those around me in my life agree. I've never really had any pushback on that- not counting the pushback to being a girl more generally. The poem confronted me with the very real reality that something i hold close to me, intertwined with my own transfemininity, was often denied outright to the black trans women around me. Even in accepting spaces, if you can call them that, a Black Trans Woman is expected to be the strong woman, the stalwart defender, and the unaffected stoic. And, simply, that's just not fair.

There's a quote in Cleansing that sticks with me.

Black trans joy is so important) But, Black trans pain is the catalyst upon which most allies show up)

venmo: clownpulp

cashapp: clowngaud

we're both disabled and barely scraping by as is, and this is coming while we're already trying to plan her move to my city to better access to healthcare/affordable housing, AND her wheelchair being broken and already inadequate to her needs.

here is the estimate thank you for reading and sharing 💜💚💜

$150/746.71

my commission info

But a Black kid stabs a racist white one for threatening and attacking him at school, and suddenly it's "why does he have weapons at school" (which is apparently legal to an extent in Texas) oh NOW we wanna act like people should turn the other cheek to bullying. White kid's brother threatening to "shoot monkeys" at the school, but we supposed to believe this is unprecedented behavior. Mkay. Crazy work.

If you've never found yourself as the victim of a cult, or sexual assault, or abuse, the only thing separating you from people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse is circumstance. That's it. Sheer luck. Luck over what family you were born into. Luck over who you were surrounded by when you were emotionally compromised or in any way vulnerable. Ect.

You are not better than people who have been victimized. They didn't do anything wrong to ask to be victimized. Anyone can be victimized by these situations given the perfect storm of circumstances. You are not better than people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse.

You need to understand that if you are lucky enough to have never been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse, it's very little to do with how smart or strong you are or you doing all the "right" things. Someone can be smart and strong and do all the right things and still find themselves a victim given the perfect storm of bad circumstances.

Bullying.

Funny how when I was being bullied as a kid, I did fight back and I did do everything I could to stand up to my bullies. But that didn't make it stop. All the adults at school just told me that the bullying was my fault because I was "giving the bullies the reaction they wanted, if I would just be quiet and ignore them the bullying would stop."

But now that I'm an adult, I hear other adults saying all the time that kids who get bullied are only bullied because they're too weak and insecure to stand up for themselves.

Isn't that funny? How I spent years fighting back and trying to stand up for myself, and this got me told that it was my fault for not just ignoring them? But now I hear other adults, most of whom are parents, saying if a kid is bullied it's their fault for not standing up for themselves or fighting back?

It's a lose/lose situation, either way if the kid fights back, or doesn't fight back, they're told its their fault for how they respond. It's almost as if, the bullying isn't the victim's fault or smthing 🤔

And this type of victim blaming rhetoric ignores that there's in the majority of cases a power imbalance between the bullies and victims.

Common dynamics we see are: white kids bullying children of color, neurotypical kids bullying neurodivergent kids, gender conforming cishet kids bullying GNC and/or LGBTQIA+ kids, abled kids bullying disabled kids, boys bullying girls (he's only teasing you because he likes you!), rich or middle class children bullying poor children, ect. ect.

And this is exactly WHY adults often victim blame bullied children instead of holding bullies accountable, and these adults blaming the children are often privileged themselves. White adult school staff blaming children of color who are getting bullied instead of holding the white children doing the bullying accountable, neurotypical adult school staff blaming neurodivergent children who are being bullied instead of holding the neurotypical children doing the bullying accountable, ect. ect.

HC: it's not as if SQH isn't strong, it's just he doesn't apply himself. He is an immortal cultivator after all. A peak lord. From An Ding. The peak that does a lot of physical labour.