going the distance

every day i get a little madder about the ‘dream job’ narrative… all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesn’t abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably can’t be) cosmic destinies and identities

my ideal summer body: glistening in the sun, adorned in diamonds, recently nourished with raspberries and sparkling rosé, $100,000 richer

assigned male at céilí

Hunt and Baxian playing video games together is actually so pure I’m happy that SJM is making time for non ship things and friendships too. 

I think the funniest possible modern textual adaptation of Dracula would be Jonathan as a part time recipe blogger and you have to scroll through 10 paragraphs of the most harrowing thing you’ve ever read in your life just to get the recipe for paprika hendl

Stress having physical effects is so stupid your body's just like "you've been having a real shit time and I'm about to make it worse" I hope you die I hope we both die

i love that post thats like “never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm” that shit changed my life. every time i feel bad i look at the clock and i’m like Aha It’s 10:26 PM You Cannot Fucking Fool Me

all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen

the problem is that going to bed at night feels like a chore whereas lying down for a forbidden nap at 4pm feels like the pinnacle of decadence

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

cats will see a closed door and they will be like HELLO for the love of god HELLO and then you open it and then theyre like oh okay. bye.

idk why ppl act like men don’t gossip, talk shit, be fake, backstab, etc, they literally do all these things it’s just not blamed on their gender