Blogging on my current hyper-fixations and bringing everyone else along for the ride! Latest obsession Stargate SG-1, 80s MacGyver, and everything RDA ☺️☺️☺️😈😈😈❤️❤️❤️
i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
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It was a Tuesday in 1981 when the San Francisco police kicked in the door.
Inside the small apartment, they expected to find a hardened criminal. They expected a drug kingpin. They expected resistance.
Instead, they found a 57-year-old waitress in an apron.
The air in the apartment smelled sweet, thick with chocolate and something earthier. On the kitchen counter, cooling on wire racks, were 54 dozen brownies.
The police officers began bagging the evidence. They confiscated nearly 18 pounds of marijuana. They handcuffed the woman, whose name was Mary Jane Rathbun.
She didn't look scared. She didn't look guilty.
She looked at the officers, smoothed her apron, and reportedly said, "I thought you guys were coming."
She was booked into the county jail. The headlines wrote themselves. A grandmother running a pot bakery. It seemed like a joke to the legal system, a quirky local news story about an older woman behaving badly.
But Mary wasn't baking for fun. And she certainly wasn't baking for profit.
To understand why Mary risked her freedom, you have to understand the silence of the early 1980s.
San Francisco was gripping the edge of a cliff. A mysterious illness was sweeping through the city, specifically targeting young men. Later, the world would know it as AIDS. But in those early days, it was just a death sentence that no one wanted to talk about.
Families were disowning their sons. Landlords were evicting tenants. Even doctors and nurses, paralyzed by the fear of the unknown, would sometimes leave food trays outside hospital doors, afraid to breathe the same air as their patients.
Men in their twenties were wasting away in sterile rooms, dying alone.
Mary knew what it felt like to lose a child.
Years earlier, in 1974, her daughter Peggy had been killed in a car accident. Peggy was only 22. The loss had hollowed Mary out, leaving a space in her heart that nothing seemed to fill.
When the judge sentenced Mary for that first arrest, he ordered her to perform 500 hours of community service. He likely thought the manual labor would teach her a lesson.
He sent her to the Shanti Project and San Francisco General Hospital.
It was a mistake that would change American history.
Mary walked into the AIDS wards when others were walking out. She didn't wear a hazmat suit. She didn't hold her breath. She saw rows of young men who looked like ghosts—skeletal, in pain, and terrified.
She saw "her kids."
She began mopping floors and changing sheets. But soon, she noticed something the doctors were missing. The harsh medications the men were taking caused violent nausea. They couldn't eat. They were starving to death as much as they were dying of the virus.
Mary knew a secret about the brownies she had been arrested for.
She knew they settled the stomach. She knew they brought back the appetite. She knew they could help a dying man sleep for a few hours without pain.
So, she made a choice.
She went back to her kitchen. She fired up the oven. She started mixing batter, not to sell, but to save.
Every morning, Mary would bake. She lived on a fixed income, surviving on Social Security checks that barely covered her rent. Yet, she spent nearly every dime on flour, sugar, and butter.
The most expensive ingredient—the cannabis—was donated. Local growers heard what she was doing. They began dropping off pounds of product at her door, free of charge.
She packed the brownies into a basket and took the bus to the hospital.
She walked room to room. She sat by the bedsides of men who hadn't seen their own mothers in years. She held their hands. She told them jokes. And she gave them brownies.
"Here, baby," she would say. "Eat this. It'll help."
And it did.
Nurses watched in amazement as patients who hadn't eaten in days began to ask for food. The constant retching stopped. The mood on the ward shifted from despair to a quiet sort of comfort.
Mary Jane Rathbun became "Brownie Mary."
For over a decade, this was her life. She baked roughly 600 brownies a day. She went through 50 pounds of flour a week. She became the mother to a generation of lost boys.
She washed their pajamas. She attended their funerals. She held them while they took their last breaths.
She did this while the government declared a "War on Drugs."
By the early 1990s, the political climate was hostile. Politicians were competing to see who could be "tougher" on crime. Mandatory minimum sentences were locking people away for decades.
In 1992, at the age of 70, Mary was arrested again.
This time, the stakes were lethal. She was charged with felonies. The district attorney looked at her rap sheet and saw a repeat offender. He threatened to send her to prison.
One prosecutor famously whispered to a colleague that he was going to "kick this old lady's ass."
They underestimated who they were dealing with.
They thought they were prosecuting a drug dealer. In reality, they were attacking the most beloved woman in San Francisco.
When the news broke that Brownie Mary was facing prison, the city erupted.
It wasn't just the activists who were angry. It was the doctors. It was the nurses. It was the parents who had watched Mary care for their dying sons when the government did nothing.
Mary turned her trial into a pulpit.
She arrived at court not as a defendant, but as a grandmother standing her ground. The media swarmed her. Reporters asked if she was afraid of prison. They asked if she would stop baking if they let her go.
Mary looked into the cameras, her voice gravelly and firm.
"If the narcs think I'm gonna stop baking brownies for my kids with AIDS," she said, "they can go fuck themselves in Macy's window."
The quote ran in newspapers across the country.
The court didn't stand a chance.
Testimony poured in. Doctors from San Francisco General Hospital wrote letters explaining that Mary’s brownies were medically necessary. Patients testified that she was an angel of mercy.
The charges were dropped.
Mary walked out of the courthouse a free woman. But she didn't go home to rest. She realized that her personal victory wasn't enough. As long as the law was broken, her "kids" were still in danger.
She needed to change the law.
August 25 was declared "Brownie Mary Day" by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. It was a nice gesture, but Mary wanted policy, not plaques.
She teamed up with fellow activist Dennis Peron. Together, they opened the San Francisco Cannabis Buyers Club—the first public dispensary in the United States. It was a safe haven where patients could get their medicine without fear of arrest.
But Mary wanted more. She wanted the state of California to acknowledge the truth.
She campaigned for Proposition 215. She traveled the state, despite her failing health. She spoke in her simple, direct way. She didn't talk about liberties or economics. She talked about compassion. She talked about pain.
She forced voters to look at the issue through the eyes of a grandmother.
In 1996, Proposition 215 passed. California became the first state to legalize medical marijuana.
It was a domino effect. Because one woman refused to let her "kids" suffer, the public perception of cannabis shifted. The Economist later noted that Mary was single-handedly responsible for changing the national conversation.
She never got rich.
She had always joked that if legalization ever happened, she would sell her recipe to Betty Crocker and buy a Victorian house for her patients to live in.
She never sold the recipe. She never bought the house.
Mary Jane Rathbun died in 1999, at the age of 77. She passed away in a nursing home, poor in money but rich in legacy.
Today, over 30 states have legalized medical marijuana. Millions of people use it to manage pain, seizures, and nausea.
Most of them have never heard of Mary.
They don't know that their legal prescription exists because a waitress in San Francisco decided that the law was wrong and her heart was right.
They don't know about the 600 brownies a day.
They don't know about the thousands of hospital visits.
Mary didn't set out to be a hero. She told the Chicago Tribune years before she died, "I didn't go into this thinking I would be a hero."
She was just a mother who had lost her daughter, trying to help boys who had lost their way.
She proved that authority doesn't always equal morality.
She proved that sometimes, the most patriotic thing a citizen can do is break a bad law.
Every August, a few people in San Francisco still celebrate Brownie Mary Day. But her true memorial isn't a date on a calendar.
It is found in every oncology ward where a patient finds relief. It is found in every dispensary door that opens without fear.
It is found in the simple, quiet courage of anyone who sees suffering and refuses to look away.
Mary taught us that you don't need a law degree to change the world. You don't need millions of dollars. You don't need political office.
Sometimes, all you need is a mixing bowl, an oven, and enough love to tell the world to get out of your way.
Sources: New York Times Obituary (1999), "Brownie Mary" Rathbun. San Francisco Chronicle Archives (1992, 1996). History.com, "The History of Medical Marijuana." Weird Everything, FB december 12, 2025
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Sometimes the shenanigans that come up in an episode of Stargate make me wonder about SGC HR and payroll.
Like, okay, so in Holiday Machello body-swaps with Daniel and then goes out and buys lunch for a bunch of random people in a diner. With Daniel's credit card. Now, I mean, maybe you can just call up the credit card company and say, "I didn't authorize this purchase," but if it was a large purchase, and it seems it probably was, the diner will probably challenge the chargeback, and they almost certainly have Daniel on camera. So like, how is this handled? Does Daniel just have to eat the cost? Budgeting for his credit card bill while cursing Machello for stealing his body and $500 worth of milkshakes? Or does the SGC have like. Insurance. For that sort of thing. Given the nature of the Goa'uld it's not unreasonable. $10 per paycheck and if your body gets hijacked by some kind of alien malevolence and spends all your money the Air Force will just quietly settle the bill in the event you survive and get your body back.
In A Matter of Time most of the SGC experiences a single day, but outside, two weeks go by due to the time dilation effects of the black hole. Some scrooge in payroll is patting themselves on the back for months for managing to successfully argue that everyone inside the mountain should only be paid for the time they actually experienced working, instead of the full two weeks of real time that they were at work. They severely regret it when Window of Opportunity rolls around and Jack and Teal'c scrape together the evidence that they experienced work for 2,160 hours in a single day.
As a manager of large, global HR and payroll departments, I also pondered the question of how to pay Jack in A Matter of Time, where one work day took two weeks, and in Window of Opportunity where he worked for thousands of hours in a time loop.
An aside - I have no idea how payroll works in the US Air Force so I am going on what decisions I would make.
First off Jack is very likely salaried exempt (US payroll speak for not eligable for overtime) as he is in a leadership position and seemingly has no fixed hours.
I would have made the decision to pay Jack for two weeks salary during that one shift in Matter of Time, because first, he is salaried, and second, policies encourage behaviours, and we would want staff to volunteer for dangerous missions, such as staying in the mountain when there is a black hole, without being financially penalised for the whole time dilation thing.
Consistent with this, and being exempt, Jack wouldn't be eligible for overtime in Window of Opportunity. I was thinking of a one-off bonus for the extra work, but what about other people who, for example, get stuck off-world for longer than planned? They could also argue to be eligible for bonuses, and payroll costs could spiral. Maybe some long paid PTO.
But in general, their payroll would be a nightmare and God only knows what workers comp would look like, but I would still 100% take the job 😂
And on the Daniel question, given he is a government contractor, he would definitely be able to expense his credit card bill after Holiday.
If anyone does knows how payroll in the Air Force works, let me know, just because I am a nerd and would be interested.
Interesting stuff! I’d also love to know how all the ‘back office’ departments deal with the strange things that happen at the SGC. Could have been a fun ‘Lower Decks’ type episode where the finance team is trying to carry out the quarterly budget review, but keeps being inconvenienced by the latest ‘aliens trying to invade earth’ nonsense.
Also, a friendly reminder that payroll departments don't make policy decisions about how staff are paid. They just process it, make sure all your deductions and earnings are accounted for, and deal with the tax authorities (IRS in US, HMRC in the UK, etc) and which ever other government department is interested. Be kind to the people who make sure you get paid correctly 😊
Sometimes the shenanigans that come up in an episode of Stargate make me wonder about SGC HR and payroll.
Like, okay, so in Holiday Machello body-swaps with Daniel and then goes out and buys lunch for a bunch of random people in a diner. With Daniel's credit card. Now, I mean, maybe you can just call up the credit card company and say, "I didn't authorize this purchase," but if it was a large purchase, and it seems it probably was, the diner will probably challenge the chargeback, and they almost certainly have Daniel on camera. So like, how is this handled? Does Daniel just have to eat the cost? Budgeting for his credit card bill while cursing Machello for stealing his body and $500 worth of milkshakes? Or does the SGC have like. Insurance. For that sort of thing. Given the nature of the Goa'uld it's not unreasonable. $10 per paycheck and if your body gets hijacked by some kind of alien malevolence and spends all your money the Air Force will just quietly settle the bill in the event you survive and get your body back.
In A Matter of Time most of the SGC experiences a single day, but outside, two weeks go by due to the time dilation effects of the black hole. Some scrooge in payroll is patting themselves on the back for months for managing to successfully argue that everyone inside the mountain should only be paid for the time they actually experienced working, instead of the full two weeks of real time that they were at work. They severely regret it when Window of Opportunity rolls around and Jack and Teal'c scrape together the evidence that they experienced work for 2,160 hours in a single day.
As a manager of large, global HR and payroll departments, I also pondered the question of how to pay Jack in A Matter of Time, where one work day took two weeks, and in Window of Opportunity where he worked for thousands of hours in a time loop.
An aside - I have no idea how payroll works in the US Air Force so I am going on what decisions I would make.
First off Jack is very likely salaried exempt (US payroll speak for not eligable for overtime) as he is in a leadership position and seemingly has no fixed hours.
I would have made the decision to pay Jack for two weeks salary during that one shift in Matter of Time, because first, he is salaried, and second, policies encourage behaviours, and we would want staff to volunteer for dangerous missions, such as staying in the mountain when there is a black hole, without being financially penalised for the whole time dilation thing.
Consistent with this, and being exempt, Jack wouldn't be eligible for overtime in Window of Opportunity. I was thinking of a one-off bonus for the extra work, but what about other people who, for example, get stuck off-world for longer than planned? They could also argue to be eligible for bonuses, and payroll costs could spiral. Maybe some long paid PTO.
But in general, their payroll would be a nightmare and God only knows what workers comp would look like, but I would still 100% take the job 😂
And on the Daniel question, given he is a government contractor, he would definitely be able to expense his credit card bill after Holiday.
If anyone does knows how payroll in the Air Force works, let me know, just because I am a nerd and would be interested.
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This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.
Looks like I have been tagged for this again. Thanks, @sunflowers-and-sandwiches!
Let’s see who I got this time… 🥁
This image was created by and is the property of @chroncruik.
Eda Clawthorne (aka the Owl Lady, aka the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles)!
I guess that’s one way to join the Bad Girl Coven, though I still feel like I’m more of an honorary owlet than a possible partner, but I suppose the age gap will get smaller with time…
(Then again, there are flashbacks of her when she was younger!)
No pressure tags: @butterflies-and-bumble-bees, @cat-a-holic, @schrodingers-blursed-kitty, @argen-lobo-ridder, @two-microscopes, @furubat, @hearing-in-color, @jedidragonrider, @cursedchildofchaos, @frogressive-rock, @angeltreasure, @orthodoxadventure, and everyone else who wants to do it 💙
Okay so the first character I had is literally spending extensive time & research to figure out how to make it back to her crush. It would be near impossible to even slow her down to even ask to marry her. I also don't want to marry Black Panther or Tony the Tiger, lol.
Next up is... Rosalina. Ya know... I think I could be okay with this. 🩵
(No pressure) just for fun tags: @my-mom-does-not-have-it-going-on @milksugarjams @misty-eyed-memory @gessec @citadelofthestars @corvusherpestidae and anyone else who may wish to join.
Tagging @multiverse-of-misfits @janetfraiserspenlight @wildhorsestealcwildhorses @marina-ponders @backinblack-80 and @brigitoshaughnessy although I have a feeling we’re marrying the same man bahaha.
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i get so emotional every time i think about fanfic culture. it's just so beautiful that people are writing and anonymously posting these thousand-word stories about characters we all love and not even getting any money or public fame from it. it's literally just for the love of the game.
shout out to everyone who participates in fanfic culture, be it reading or writing fanfics. you are contributing to such a lovely thing <3
Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.