novocaine

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Every time I make a post speaking negatively about the present GOP or insinuate that the Democratic Party might be the lesser of the two evils we are forced to decide between, immediately someone shows up to say ‘both sides bad though’. Like. Okay. And? And what are you going to do about it? Refuse to participate in democracy just because you’re waiting for the revolution? Let them both do whatever? I got so much shit during the election when I was trying to encourage people to vote for Kamala and look where we are now. Honestly? I will always choose the lesser of two evils and let there be blood on my hands instead of standing back and allowing evil to take its course. I’ve made a choice, not a permanent one, less of an endorsement of the Democratic Party and more of an acknowledgment of the fascist Christian nationalist views of the current GOP. Both sides bad, both sides similar, the left in America is more like the center right in a lot of other countries, I’m aware of this, it is important to attempt to minimize harm until the problem can be solved.

I think the biphobic misconception that bisexual women only date men and bisexual men only date men may have a correlation to the fact that there is always a man freaky and horny in your DMs no matter what. It isn’t that bisexual women are secretly straight or that bisexual men are secretly gay, it’s that men are out there behaving like starving dogs and you feel so bad you end up feeding one, you know? Anyway, this coffee is a medium and I ordered a large. It’s okay, it’s busy in here, I get it.

i fw you most ardently

dying in a pickleball accident is so hilarious to me, that is almost worse than dying on the toilet

[Image description The background for Blues Clues with Benoit Blanc from Knives Out]

Now I’m naht puhticularly familiuh with how everything wurks around heeuh, but I- I do buhlieve we just gawht a lettuh… wonduh who it’s from…

shout out to my grandma who heard about how bad my mental health has been getting and asked my dad “well, have you tried taking him to the sea?” like you did to cure tuburculosis in the 1800s

every year i forget how impossible it feels to function when you're cold and under a blanket. u really expect me to be productive right now? to think about things? outside the warmth and safety of my blanket? kind of messed up to be honest

Dick van dyke... God. What a name. I wish I could be named penis from lesbian.

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

History is written by victors

yeah well Victor fucking bit me