novocaine

I think the biphobic misconception that bisexual women only date men and bisexual men only date men may have a correlation to the fact that there is always a man freaky and horny in your DMs no matter what. It isn’t that bisexual women are secretly straight or that bisexual men are secretly gay, it’s that men are out there behaving like starving dogs and you feel so bad you end up feeding one, you know? Anyway, this coffee is a medium and I ordered a large. It’s okay, it’s busy in here, I get it.

i fw you most ardently

dying in a pickleball accident is so hilarious to me, that is almost worse than dying on the toilet

[Image description The background for Blues Clues with Benoit Blanc from Knives Out]

Now I’m naht puhticularly familiuh with how everything wurks around heeuh, but I- I do buhlieve we just gawht a lettuh… wonduh who it’s from…

shout out to my grandma who heard about how bad my mental health has been getting and asked my dad “well, have you tried taking him to the sea?” like you did to cure tuburculosis in the 1800s

every year i forget how impossible it feels to function when you're cold and under a blanket. u really expect me to be productive right now? to think about things? outside the warmth and safety of my blanket? kind of messed up to be honest

Dick van dyke... God. What a name. I wish I could be named penis from lesbian.

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

History is written by victors

yeah well Victor fucking bit me

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that