Tomorrow is a long time

just lettin y'all know from a legal standpoint this is super not legally binding, they gave you that money and it's yours now UNLESS YOU SIGN THIS. theyre obviously trying to make this look like a notice but it's not, it's a legally binding contract if you sign and return it so SHRED THAT SHIT

I’m just a mushroom in an open field and god is a 6 year old boy booting me into orbit

A male president? I dont know,…what if he gets a boner and we have another cold war

what if a girl rejects him and he goes on a killing spree?

What if he sleeps with one of the interns? You know men can’t help themselves.

What if he gets kicked in the balls? I hear that’s WORSE than menstruation even

What if he gets in a pissing contest with another male leader and starts a nuclear war?

I was in a bible study we went over this part and I just sat there like “wait what?!?”

Yup! This is so real!

So what you’re saying is the original sin was man not fucking protecting his wife lmao

Adam was a fuck boy?

Omfg! I’ve had this argument so many times!

FUCK

All men Ain’t shit for the bible told me so.

Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

I experience rising difficulty  in distinguishing fandom shitposts from commentary on US politics.

mother earth is literally committing suicide right now and y'all still think climate change is a hoax

It ain’t suicide. She’ll live on after this, she’s just killing all of us off.

thank God. I wholeheartedly support her decision

she’s detoxing

idk why ppl act like funny women are a rare precious commodity when every woman i know is a got damn comedian and i’ve met maybe two intentionally funny men in my lifetime 

i laughed so hard just now that i spit on myself oh mmy god

OH MY GOD BITCH

WE CAN’T PROVE THEY WEREN’T HUGE FATBIRDS

simply the best