floating round the rp galaxy

First Reactions

I don’t what it is about the URL, it’s just very striking. Like somehow, it semantically did give me old-fashioned witchy vibes and it’s frustrating me that I can’t figure it out. It did give me history connotations so the old-fashioned old-age tradition thing is spot on! Regardless, the URL is great. 

( After some thought, ward is definitely a word connates with magic and fantasy but the whole word has does have a certain private school ring to it and this is just a subtle reference and combination of words oh my god??? ) 

Theme

This might just be my screen but I’d recommend adding some CSS for the description box to have “overflow-y: auto;” or something. I tried two browsers to double-check and they both came up like this and this. It just looks odd, that’s all. 

Colour scheme is very interesting. The red certainly ‘pops’ while the muted greyish-blue-green and its shade are utilised well, evidently sourced from the natural environment theme of isolation. I have no problem with the combination, but I think it’s worth experimenting to see if a more muted red might settle better because the red that ‘pops’ borders on distracting at times despite its minimal presence. I’m really glad there’s no black or dark grey, which definitely sets this group apart from other supernatural/fantasy groups without sacrificing the obviously intense plot themes of the group. 

Font-wise, not the most accessible in my opinion. The body font size is bordering on illegible, notch up 1-2px and that might do the trick. These seem to be the default ones that come with the theme — don’t know their names — with the monospace body, the calibri looking sidebar font, and the super thin one in the titles and statistics pop-up. Because this is such a popular theme, I would really recommend looking into experimenting with other font combinations to make your page stand out. 

The monospace font is great for decoration; but with the smaller size and length of prose, it’s difficult to read. I’m feeling Trebuchet MS to replace it (e.g. for the header links) but like I said previously, just experiment. Utilise serif font types because they definitely fit the themes and content of the roleplay. The thin numbers font for the statistics is really hard to read. The non-wobbly part of your graphics font is great too, but it doesn’t look like it’s on the theme. It’s a great one to think about using though. 

Graphics are super gorgeous! There’s super great colouring and framing. 

Plot

Sidebar plot packs a punch. I like it. It’s languid and balanced in its content. The entrance of “Prepare yourself; this is war” felt a bit like the flow was interrupted, as the sidebar plot was going from A to B to ... D? I, as a reader, don’t know how these series of events is a war. Nevertheless, it’s a great key word to know exactly what kind of conflict there is and just how intense the situation at hand is. 

The first part of the full plot does a great job in setting the scene. It’s the similar fluidity of the sidebar I’ve mentioned and keeps the reader in despite the lack of an immediate hook. It’s immersive. 

“The two schools integrated well” feels like an unnecessary sentence. I think the next sentence makes a fine transition/starter and also, how can there be no conflict among these two completely different groups? 

When there is a moving away, the reader at this point has no idea where they’re fleeing from. Leaving this out wasn’t a disaster and the mysterious vibe was kept from it. It just seems odd to go from a vague setting to introducing this super specific setting, if you understand where I’m getting at. It would be nice to situate ourselves when reading the plot. Even if it’s something like the “in the English manor home of Lady Wardlaw”, there must be some indicator of where this opening shot is. After browsing round, Lake Placid is clearly signposted but the plot drop page can’t be the only place where their location is known. I went looking at the school information page first and that wasn’t even there. 

The ending of the full plot is bursting with tension! If the whole plot page was split into three parts: the beginning is fantastic, the middle doesn’t quite deliver, but the last parts of the ending do just enough to save interest. 

Grammar and spelling-wise, there’s little typos. One that particularly expresses ambiguity is in the sidebar (“its doors shut tight and it's students in the shadows”), as to whether the bolded apostrophe should be there or not. The whole sidebar plot is one long ass sentence. I would suggest separating “shadows, but after welcoming” with a full stop or semi-colon — just for easier reading (and they’re definitely separate concepts, in my opinion). Overall, I would work on the transitions in the full plot. There’s many parts and it’s difficult to link them, but do try to. It would make for smoother reading as going from each part to the others is like when you play tetris and there’s gaps you can’t fill. It all fits but it’s awkward. 

The only issue I have is the logic behind letting non-magic folks be involved in the first place. I don’t feel satisfied as to why this has suddenly happened after years of secrecy, or why the sudden hospitality from an isolated institution. Why was it so smooth to integrate? How treasured is their secret if they’re willing to let the next door Dumfries, with its non-magical liabilities walk around experiencing something Wardlaw, the coveted isolated school you’ve introduced to us? How are Dumfries now allowed to go to another magical school? What is the point of them getting a magical education if there’s no indication they too are magical? 

These aren’t questions that need to be answered, but I shouldn’t be asking them in the first place. It’s great when there’s contrasting groups within a roleplay, as it’s a source of tension. I’m just wondering why they’re necessary in the overall scheme of things. Keeping details on other pages is a good idea but it’s not ideal to feel literally lost in the damn plot. 

Pages Linked

FAQ: Looks good overall. I like the explanation of the poetic skeletons and the easing of it for roleplayers unfamiliar with it. I would include something about acceptance/opening, whether it’s a vague date or a number of apps. The sidebar update for the acceptance is question mark, and I think its inclusion in the ask page would be worthwhile until the date is set. 

Navigation: I would recommend to change the a:hover colour to the sidebar quote colour (the sidebar update circles one?) or the same as the link so there’s no change, just don’t make it the same as the background. This was on the FAQ page too but it’s a bigger problem on the navigation with the extra links. 

Pop-ups: A nice addition and the advantage of this theme. It would be nice if you could put a link “title” on hover for each one because the symbols aren’t too universal just yet. 

I think it’s better when there’s more pages linked. It’s kind of ‘made up’ with the pop-ups but it’s just nice when you can just easily click for “plot” “rules” “character” immediately without having to go through the navigation. I know the contained theme has limitations so it’s not a massive problem. 

Final Verdicts