Because Reasons

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

play toys ?

come play toys

the prince of darkness commands you

just spoke with the funniest hater of all time. went to the optometrist, happened to be wearing my hadestown shirt. he asks me about it, I tell him it's a musical and he tells me he hates musicals and lists a few he didn't like. fair enough, but he listed mostly movie musicals, so I tell him that stage musicals are quite different. so he asks for my favorites and a few recommendations, and I also explain to him the differences between seeing a show on tour vs on broadway. I tell him he could check out the local theatre and see what's in the next season, but he says he'd rather just fly to new york and see the broadway show if it's the best version and that he probably wouldn't like it. I tell him that sometimes people will like the tour version better just based on personal preference of singer performance. he says, I don't really like singers, I just don't really like music. I get my eyes dilated. I bum around for 15 minutes before going back. he checks my eyes and shows me that he pulled up a google search of hadestown to read up about it while we were waiting. he tells me again he hates musicals and can't take them seriously, while actively looking at showtimes for hadestown at the walter kerr on broadway. I tell him each musical is very different so he should listen to the recordings of a few songs to see if he likes the vibe of a show before he wastes $200 on a ticket. he says nah I won't do that because I probably wouldn't like it, I just don't like music. the broadway showtimes to hadestown are still pulled up on a browser tab. I cannot emphasize how many times he told me that he doesn't like musicals or music while actively taking my recommendations and planning a theoretical trip to nyc specifically to see a broadway musical that he predicts he will hate. i respect it

one time my sister and i were walking up the stairs and heard a bunch of banging noises coming from an apartment, and she turned to me and said "aborted neighbor". and i was just like. i'm glad we're the same kind of terminally online and i know exactly what you are referencing because otherwise this would sound insane.

i feel like it really encompasses a lot of my whole deal that one of my absolute favorite things is when fictional characters are famous in-universe so i can imagine their in-universe wikipedia pages. and really any number of other types of in-universe nonfiction media.

"i like to imagine shane and ilya having kids" "well i like to imagine shane and ilya doing bloodplay" that's nice. i like to imagine a 600-page sports journalism book called the long game: inside the rebuild of the ottawa centaurs published a few years after shane and ilya retire that offers an in-depth look at the founding of the ottawa centaurs' hockey dynasty, weaving together the stories of the upstart young coach who shook up the team's dynamic, the underutilized goalie finally given his time in the sun after a transfer, the winger looking for a new start, and the most famous rivals the hockey world has ever seen. featuring 20 pages of photographs and shocking never-before-published transcripts from meetings with mlh upper management, including the REAL reason shane hollander left montreal!

i don't have the creativity or the coding skills to make this legible as a fanfiction but i really do think about the editing history of the heated rivalry characters' wikipedia pages all the time. at one point ilya's personal life section says "in june 2021, rozanov stated in a tweet that he is bisexual" and then someone deletes it and gives the reason for editing, "he did NOT say he is bisexual. he said ‘it’s 2021 and you haven’t heard of bisexuals? you are fucking stupid’ ” so then ilya has to tweet the words "i am bisexual." this in turn leads to ilya becoming aware of wikipedia editing as a way to cause drama so he promptly starts editing scott hunter's page to replace all the text with the text for various dinosaurs until the page gets locked for vandalism. then he flags it as a candidate for deletion due to scott hunter not being a notable public figure.

I have over 40k notes on this and it’s the most wonderful thing I could have hoped would get tumblr-famous. I wish you all comfort and compassion every day

Why so many wolf attacks in fantasy. Where are the Boars. The immortal and humongous Boar

This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it

"why do you know that" i am curious about the world around me

Could mean good things!

Hey @evilwizard. So, you up to anything new lately?

haha it’s funny you ask

No cuz I fucking love this sign. It’s not an actual barrier so it’s not like some sort of challenge it simply says “fuck around and you will find out”

Official ominous signs

Post like Pokemon were real.

Hammer space but it's a pocket specifically located on your left calf. Neat :D

At least in theory, I could sew smallish reasonably flat pockets onto the ankles of my boots. Assuming that they won't rub my leg from any spot, I could fit a phone in one. If I could figure out how to fit my phone on one leg and wallet in the other, I would have so much power and freedom.