in gedanken

Stay away with your negativity, living in a bubble made of solitude and dignity Craving that good soul, Being rich is your goal - fine I keep earning Liberty“  ...Seriously whatever floats your boat if it’s money, food, people or being by yourself that makes you happy, it’s good. You’re good. Keep doing you but don’t compare. Happiness is to be found in different places for different people, so grow because of your own soil and nurture those who offer you some rays of sunshine.

“And then suddenly you are counting your blessings but forget how to spell them”

What would you die for? What is the reason for your existence: the thought that makes you get out of bed, the memory that brings a smile to your exhausted self after a long day? Remember that song which makes you cry or uplifts your heart without hesitation? Brief minutes, that have your emotions tingeling. Think of it. What would you die for, someone asked me once. I replied: Certainly, everybody will leave one day. But not for a reason. Or not in that way. I will leave because I lived. And that’s what makes me fall asleep without fear. I may have nothing to die for, but there are enough reasons, I‘d strive to live for, every day.

Hier ist mir mein Herz abhanden gekommen. Ich habe es wieder gefunden im Nebel des Sonnenaufgangs, im Duft von warmen Pizzateig, zwischen Sand und Wildblumen. Ich schreibe mehr. Ich lache, weil es regnet. Ich fühle mich gut.

An meine Lieben. In Gedanken bin ich bei dir, bin ich hier und trotzdem ganz nah - an dem Gefühl, was du mir schenkst ohne die Forderung eines Nickens. Du gehörst mir nicht, aber ich höre dich. Dein Lachen, dein Streben nach Vollkommenheit, das Scheppern, wenn das Plätzchen Blech zu Boden fällt. Du bist so laut, dass ich dich nie vergessen könnte.

The girl‘s eyes flickered like a roaring fire. How could you ever say that to me? Telling me that I am invincible? His jawline hardened, as he stood up. The beach was endlessly wide, there was no horizon. Cold, harsh wind. When will there be silence? What silence, she mumbled into her wollen scarf - made out of memories of better days. The only thing I hear is noise. Everywhere. Everything is so loud these days. She looked up and felt his eyes on her. The storm blew sand in her face. Red cheeks. You won’t be able to embrace silence unless you feel it. She could see his posture getting softer. As he sat down right in front of her, a tear dripped on to his palm. There is so much peace in this world but you only pay attention to the chaos. Maybe that’s who I am. He looked at the sandy dunes behind her and his view got blurry. Yes, maybe that’s who you are. Absently kissing his palm.

Call me cheesy, call me rough, call me confused but never call me simply not enough. Who am I to explain myself? I am wild, I am calm like the sea but do not mistake this with the adjective free. Who am I to know all the reasons why? I evolve, therefore I am. But this is the thing with life. It's unexpected, unexplained, uneasy - and do you mind? Who are you to judge me? I am growing and even if some petals fall, I will continue blossoming. Pour water on me or leave this garden.

Mit jeder Minute drehe ich mich dir zu, dir alterndes ich, dir konstanter Punkt. Du bist verdammt nah dran dich zu etablieren, bist nur eine Knospe davon entfernt, dich zu revanchieren - für Momente voller Zweifel, für Tage ohne Glück. Der Frühling hat wohl gerade erst begonnen.

When the colours of the sky turned to a peach theme with pastel yellow highlights I finally noticed the essentials. I just focused on the centre, the sun. While there were even more breathtaking things like the growing shadows on the mountain or the clouds which try to comfort her. The sun. You are supposed to look at the brightest point in the sky but forget that it's just so beautiful and golden because the other things let her be. Without the darkness, sun would be nothing. The darkness isn't jealous it lets the sun do her show and smiles slightly in the background. Sometimes that is friendship. Loving the other one even if he's the one getting the standing ovations, while you are sitting behind the curtain and slowly clap for him with this unbelievable pride in your eyes.

What makes us rich? Paper thinner as the vains in our bodies, our breath. The sound of money has people looking happier than the sound of a heartbeat. What makes us rich? Being able to buy clothes from labels and post them on instagram hashtag ootd. Captioning our new sneakers with "mybabies" although they can't say "I love you baby" like a girl or boyfriend. If people would tell their parents they "love them so muuuch- I NEED you" like they write about a new iphone, would things be different? What makes me rich i ask myself and write a text about it. For my instagram picture. Sitting in front of my iPhone 5s. Drinking fresh packed water. Being warm although it's october and temperatures outside are probably like 5 degrees. And what now? Am I rich?

Starless Saw a quote back in time which said: "If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph". Indeed I fear losing the peace I find in the sea or the small details of the frozen snowflakes on the window. I fear losing the humans I love. When taking a photo of them as they are at the point of the day where they'd probably consider themselves as ugly I find the most hidden sorrows and secrets in their face. No make up, not aware of the camera, simple shirt and messy hair. That's the moment when their laugh is the truest and their emotions are shining like the fucking stars themselves. Yup. I fear losing them. But when I try to take a picture of myself I stumble. Fear of losing? More the fear of never actually finding. So here you have a photo of me. Smiling? Slightly. Why? Because I think on this sunday I'm one step closer to understanding myself - even if my face seems dark and quite starless

/a masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off and the room is empty/ Think about it. Grow. Be grateful. For your untamed hair, your big ears, your loud ass laughter and your embarrassing moments. Yes, especially them. Because in the night when you're laying in bed all alone, probably watching netflix, that's all there is. Yourself. Your life. Your choices. All made up to this beautiful little human being reading this cheesy post. All those collected memories made you strong, babe. Everything you've been through. Be grateful. You're blessed. Because in the end you're a masterpiece drawn by all the moments of joy. Laughing with your friends, hugging your dog, smelling the first flowers in april. But also the one's where your heart nearly shattered, your tears were overflowing - something broke your strength. Be grateful. You're here now. Level up. Life may get tougher but so do you. Things may get harder but so do you. Enemies may grow stronger but so do you. Do your thing. Because in the end maybe all the lights are off but art stays art and so do you.

Und trotzdem lachen, weil das Leben dir so oft die Chance gibt. Weil Blumen auch blühen, wenn dein Herz zerspringt, weil die Wellen auch weiter die steinige Küste umschmeicheln werden. Weil das Grün der rauschenden Blätter nicht verblasst, nur weil sie deine Seele verdunkeln. Weil dein Name noch nicht in allen Gästebüchern dieser Welt steht. Weil in diesem Moment auf der anderen Seite die Sonne aufgeht. Weil du das violette Schimmern manchmal selbst in den Himmel setzten musst, um zu entdecken, dass er dir nun ähnlich sieht. Weil Kontraste Vollkommenheit bewirken. Weil du trotz allem lachen kannst. Weil du trotz allem vollkommen bist.

As people don't comfort me that much I find peace in looking at art. In all its ways. Poetry. Movies. Sculptures. The way humans act. I observe more and more hidden emotions, covered pain and egoism. And i discover that todays life is a game of faking. But what for? Good grades, looking strong and independent, being untouchable. I see you. Who you really are. It's written in your eyes when you lie, it's drawn in the gesture of your hands when you nervously run them through your hair. I see you. And I understand you. Because in a difficult situation I would be the first to build a wall around my thoughts. Sometimes you need someone to steal the bricks. Maybe if we'd all show some respect and understanding words. Maybe if we weren't that egoistic. Maybe if we'd LISTEN more, you wouldn't fake that much. Because there's no need for it - an piece of art has copyright, you know?

How frightened i am. Fear in my eyes while passion is pumping through my heart. Intensity. I am full of it. Tears may drown it, screams may set it on fire. But as long as my passion burns - fear will be a brother sitting next to me watching the sunset, fighting my nightmares, running through forests, eating my icecream. So? I am thankful for you - brother - for always reminding me to focus, to embrace and to never lose one thing: my passion. This wild love for an unpredictable life. You are everywhere, please continue and show me what's yet to come. I am blessed.

"Mit jeder Minute drehe ich mich dir zu, dir alterndes ich, dir konstanter Punkt. Du bist verdammt nah dran dich zu etablieren, bist nur eine Knospe davon entfernt, dich zu revanchieren - für Momente voller Zweifel, für Tage ohne Glück. Der Frühling hat wohl gerade erst begonnen."

Call me cheesy, call me rough, call me confused but never call me simply not enough. Who am I to explain myself? I am wild, I am calm like the sea but do not mistake this with the adjective free. Who am I to know all the reasons why? I suffer, therefore I am. But this is the thing with life. It’s unexpected, unexplained, uneasy - and do you mind? Who are you to judge me? I am growing and even if some petals fall, I will continue blossoming. Pour water on me or leave this garden.