amita

You’re the problem if you think she’s wrong.

Find him and beat his ass

THE PUREST THING

the sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection

I’m so sick of this shit. Two gastations can’t even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, while I can’t find a single fic for dennys/applebees with dennys bottoming.

fill’er up

this was not a mistake

If the frosting! Of your cupcake! Is equal to or greater in height than the cupcake itself! you made a bad fucking cupcake

We can’t as a society keep supporting pastries that are just edible plates for five inch piles of sugar glue

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

what if we called “flat” soda “flaccid” soda instead

hey, tandem?

I’m out for the evening

ok i’ll wait

Tandem, come home and face the horror you’ve created

no

i wish dogs lived longer and life wasnt so expensive and leftover fries still tasted good heated up

Everyone go home. Puns are done.

I actually laughed so hard I cried at “when I was gay I thought I was in the third grade”

@leatardian milk girl