I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust

*slams you with my fucking PUSSY

CUNT force trauma

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

ah fuck this is currently breaching containment

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

i had a dream i was at a party and this girl was avoiding me and someone was like "yeah she said you weirded her out during covid" and i said "what, no i didn't" and i checked my messages and the first & only text i sent to her in 2020 was a 6 minute long video of a knight dismembering another knight with a sword