I put on the maid outfit and I make your house messier

*says ‘I’m so fucking sick of this pandemic shit’ in a distinctly vaccinated, pro mask, pro lockdown, pro taking all the necessary safety measures way*

villains are fine when they kill people I draw the line at being horrific parents though

maleficent? outstanding. go off. beautiful. mother gothel? I will kill you.

i feel like a middle aged mother when my friends start talking about guys they find attractive. i dont want to be mean so im like well he looks like a very nice young man i like his shirt :-)

oh no i've had a Thought

*cocks gun*

mike wazowski wearing a face mask but in the back it ties around in a g-string

I know I suggested this but I was genuinely unprepared for the intense pseronal anguish of coming face to face with the obvious consequences of my sin

Parasite deserves the Oscar for this post alone.

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

MAGNIFICENT

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

"my stepdad's wife"