religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women
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religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

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the goddess
the bird fights its way out of the egg. awww. awwww. aw. the egg is the world So Cute. so so So cute.
i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

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just cried so hard at this that i actually nearly threw up
"I am the Sword of God" is like easily top 10 things to declare immediately before doing something really stupid that will probably injure you
myth: astrology doesn't work
fact: astrology used to work perfectly and apparent planetary motion corresponded exactly (+/- 0°0'1") to the progressions of life on earth, until the advent and subsequent ubiquitous adoption of the radio wave introduced so much noise into the ionosphere that communications between the heaven and the earth were irrevocably scrambled; now, astrology still technically works, but it plays out in such a high-entropy set of events (see: pseudorandomness) that it has become functionally indistinguishable from free will.
atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin
agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe
Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

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I was reading up on unicorns today and wikipedia is not supposed to be this funny!!
on the flip side there's ming dynasty envoys seeing a giraffe for the first time and being like "wow <3 the magnificent qilin <3 it's everything we hopped for and more <3 <3 <3 really feeling the mandate of heaven in this chilles tonight."
Left: The pet giraffe of the Sultan of Bengal, brought from the Somali Ajuran Empire, and later taken to China[101] in the thirteenth year of Yongle (1415).
Right: Qilin tomb guardian, 4th century via wikipedia
The legendary image of the qilin became associated with the image of the giraffe in the Ming dynasty.[11][12] The identification of the qilin with giraffes began after Zheng He's 15th-century voyage to East Africa (landing, among other places, in modern-day Somalia). The Ming Dynasty bought giraffes from the Somali merchants along with zebras, incense, and various other exotic animals.[13] Zheng He's fleet brought back two giraffes to Nanjing and they were mistaken by the emperor for the mythical creature, with gerimeaning giraffe in Somali.[citation needed]
One hundred years after Virginia Woolf explored the limitations of language in On Being Ill, the Piranesi author reflects on the power of st
The underlying idea is that in some people â and I stress some people â chronic illness might look like this: a very ancient and primitive part of the brain and nervous system believes it has detected danger, possibly a tiger or something like that, and so it produces pain or a whole range of symptoms in an effort to get the sufferer to close down and protect herself. The nervous system does this very effectively and it can carry on doing it for decades. It is really very inventive. I feel that mine ought to be eligible for some sort of prize.
âthe dollhouseâ 2007, heather benning
The summer between the end of high school and the start of college, I wrote a ridiculous play about pirates and put on a staged reading with some friends at an amphitheatre at a local park before a small audience of friends and family. It was never published or staged again. But I just got a message from an old high school friend I havenât seen in years. He accidentally quoted the play in a conversation with friends, was asked what he was quoting, he couldnât remember either, and wracked his brain until he finally remembered it was that silly play reading that we did one day in the park over 10 years ago. It made me happy. (The line was, âHuzzah for mercantilism!â by the way.)
A very tiny percentage of creators go on to be famous, but that doesnât mean that people donât remember little things you did for years and years. Who came up with most of the worldâs most famous jump rope rhymes? Who coined some of the famous idioms we use in daily speech? Who made up âJingle Bells, Batman Smells?â Somehow, all of these things stuck and spread around.
When I was a small child, I saw a high school put on a production of the musical HONK. In one song, the mother duck describes various dangers that her baby should avoid in the water, including fishing line, which could strangle him. A member of the ensemble played the role of fishing line, doing a maniacal laugh and over-the-top strangling motions, and I found it hilariousâ and to this day, thatâs an example I often think of when talking about how ensemble members can still stand out in theatre. The guy who played the role might not even remember that he did that, but I do.
I took Suzuki violin lessons as a kid. The teacher made up lyrics to some of the songs, and she let her students make some up, too. Now whenever I hear the instrumental of one of those pieces, I always remember these ridiculous lyrics about a skunk that we sang in violin class. I donât even know which student invented them!
In middle school, I found a video about atoms parodying Bill Nye made by some kids for a school product. It probably had less than 1,000 views, but I think of quotes from that video all the time. They had a parody of âWe Will Rock Youâ with the chorus, âProtons, neutrons, electronsâ that I think about a lot.
I just love that this is part of human life. Our memories donât just pick up quotes from great art, literature, and music, but little things, too.

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The christian family in these memes (which are absolutely all over facebook these days) genuinely do always look miserable. Who the fuck is relating to these stock mormon farm cultists. That is a couple who made love only once in pitch darkness with bags on their heads then celebrated the pregnancy with a feast of uncooked potatoes and warm tapwater. The baby seems intrigued though. Maybe only by the bottle of pills??
Could not leave this in the tags <3
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.