unmanageable, contrary creature

murderers are so embarrassing like how does a grown ass adult have so much free time on their hands that theyre out killing and attacking people…. dont you have like a job or something 😕 idk just like pick a cuter hobby

if i got attacked by a serial killer i would feel so embarrassed for them like thats so sad. youre like obsessed or something dont you have anything else to do

ahaha it's raining heavily oh no... looks like you might have to come into my gothic castle for the night... how unfortunate ahaha

research shows that girls love to go to bed

*drowns myself in romanticized idealizations*

i know what girls want, its pointy hats and unethical spells beyond your comprehension.

Varric Tethras is such a crazy and fun character cause it's like. Imagine getting recruited into a special Catholic Church paramilitary demon fighting, apocalypse-stopping task force and celebrated novelist Neil Gaiman with a crossbow is there as part of your squad.

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it

thank you for sending assassins after me btw i really needed that. it meant a lot to me

*doing a tarot card reading* uh oh… this guy has a sword… better watch out for that…

being in your 20s is like. every day i am playing with forces i can barely understand

me [completely out of touch with my feelings, trying to describe an emotion]: I feel, um, glittery? buzzy. like peeling my skin off