im a lesbian now

Olive Garden... When you're here you are nothing but a fucking sex object

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

No one has ever made money

@pitbolshevik check this shit out LOL

@drukhari

going forward, red words are considered odd numbers, unless the words were already even numbers, like five. blue words are scared of odd numbers and so will only appear in the same sentence with them if there are green words there too. green words are considered even and five. if you trap a blue word in a sentence with red words but no green words, death will result, and will be considered odd. odd numbers are divisible by purple words unless they (purple or red) are prime or it is raining. death has resulted. a prime number can eat the corpses of most red words and some others but they will be absolutely poisoned and die if they eat an even number, like five. this is how the stock market works.

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

In one episode Elaine became Goerge